Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 13 of 32
  1. #1
    BamaNation All-American
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    2,809

    Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    I'll start:

    Do you know why Ponce de Leon started in Florida?
    Someone told him the Fountain of Youth was in Auburn!

    Best quote from ITAT:
    Alabama- Good but I think they lose to Lsu and 1 other team. Michigan was over rated in my opinion. Small line, innaccurate qb, no rb threat at all. Msu beat them last January by 40.
    Auburn is in fine company this weekend along with Vanderbilt and Kentucky - the only other SEC teams to lose this weekend.

    Gene Chizik is to discipline what Dr. Seuss is to medicine.
    "You had me at gunpoint." -Me to an Auburn football player
    It's interesting how realistic video games have become. An Auburn player just got arrested on NCAA 13.
    An Auburn student dropped some acid...Burnt a hole in the floor...He was tripping for days.
    Honey Badger can take what the Tide gives him and like it.

  2. Advertisement
  3. #2
    BamaNation Hall of Fame bamanut_aj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Spring Hill, TN
    Posts
    19,514
    My Mood
    GameFace on TideFans.com
    "it's great to be an auburn tiger/war eagle/plainsman"

    No it's not. That's the most horrible punishment imaginable


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  4. #3
    BamaNation Hall of Fame selmaborntidefan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    8,437
    My Mood
    BamaVictory on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    A Barner football player accidentally wanders into the second English Comp class for the semester. The teacher is reviewing punctuation and asks, "What always follows a sentence?" The Auburn player said, "The appeal."
    I'll always look back as I walk away
    This memory will last for eternity
    And all of our tears will be lost in the rain
    Til I find my way back to your arms again

    Only a few people in the world have the ability to remember everything. I'm one of them. Pick any day of my life, and I can tell you what I saw or heard.

  5. #4
    BamaNation First Team
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    368
    My Mood
    GameFace on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by selmaborntidefan View Post
    A Barner football player accidentally wanders into the second English Comp class for the semester. The teacher is reviewing punctuation and asks, "What always follows a sentence?" The Auburn player said, "The appeal."
    Haaaa! Like a barner football player would be anywhere near an academic building.

  6. #5
    BamaNation First Team Alajambama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Fyffe, AL
    Posts
    318
    My Mood
    BamaVictory on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    A Bama fan in full crimson garb walks into a bar in Opelika. He asked the bartender, "Hey man, wanna hear my new Auburn joke?" The big bartender says, "Man, look at me. I'm 6'3" tall and weight 320 lbs. I was the left tackle on Auburn's undefeated 2004 team. The big ol' boy on your left is 6'4", weighs 250, and played linebacker for Terry Bowden. The guy on your right is 6'2", and wrestled at Auburn in the heavyweight division. Do you still want to tell your Auburn joke?" The Bama guy looked around at all of them for a couple of seconds and said, "No! I don't want to have to explain it three times"
    The best thing to ever come out of Tennessee...I-65 heading south.

  7. #6
    BamaNation All-SEC BradtheImpaler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Sugar Hill, GA
    Posts
    1,246
    My Mood
    Suspicious on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    Their defense.

    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
    "In the second quarter, I saw Torretta look over at me, and he froze for a second. I saw fear."
    John Copeland

  8. #7
    BamaNation Hall of Fame bamachile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Lake Charles, Louisiana
    Posts
    6,766
    My Mood
    GameFace on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    Did you hear Auburn shut down their Driver's Ed program?

    The mule died.
    “Louisiana is a fresh-air mental asylum.”
    ― James Lee Burke, Pegasus Descending

  9. #8
    BamaNation All-American Crimson Flyboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Vestavia Hills, AL
    Posts
    3,881
    My Mood
    Happy on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    Driving instructions from Birmingham to Auburn: drive south until you smell it, drive east until you step in it.
    שלום
    Pax
    Peace

    "The sole object and only legitimate end of government is to protect the citizen in the enjoyment of life, liberty, and property, and when the government assumes other functions, it is usurpation and oppression."

    "I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor will I ever ask another man to live for the sake of mine."

    "Any man who strives for free inquiry, free thought, and self ownership is my brother and countryman."

  10. #9
    BamaNation First Team BamaFanatJSU's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Rainbow City, AL
    Posts
    485
    My Mood
    GameFace on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    A Bama fan in a pickup gives a ride to an Auburn fan hitchhiking on SR 147. Another Auburn fan, while trying to text, smoke, eat a hamburger, and apply makeup behind the wheel, swerves toward the truck as the two vehicles cross a bridge. The truck goes through the guardrail and into the river, after which the Bama fan rolls down the window and swims to safety. To his utter shock, the Auburn fan never surfaces. Up in Heaven, St. Peter approaches the Auburn fan and asks how he had met his fate. Clearly irritated, the Auburn fan replies, "That stupid Alabama fan should've gotten his jammed tailgate fixed!"

  11. #10
    BamaNation Hall of Fame cbi1972's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Birmingham, AL
    Posts
    15,307
    My Mood
    BamaVictory on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by BamaFanatJSU View Post
    A Bama fan in a pickup gives a ride to an Auburn fan hitchhiking on SR 147. Another Auburn fan, while trying to text, smoke, eat a hamburger, and apply makeup behind the wheel, swerves toward the truck as the two vehicles cross a bridge. The truck goes through the guardrail and into the river, after which the Bama fan rolls down the window and swims to safety. To his utter shock, the Auburn fan never surfaces. Up in Heaven, St. Peter approaches the Auburn fan and asks how he had met his fate. Clearly irritated, the Auburn fan replies, "That stupid Alabama fan should've gotten his jammed tailgate fixed!"
    Too many Auburn fans in the joke
    Audemus jura nostra defendere
    "When a loaf of bread looks like a banquet, I've no right buying tobacco. " - Grandpa Joe

  12. #11
    BamaNation All-SEC BradtheImpaler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Sugar Hill, GA
    Posts
    1,246
    My Mood
    Suspicious on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by bamachile View Post
    Did you hear Auburn shut down their Driver's Ed program?

    The mule died.
    Wait... I thought that was the sex-ed class!
    "In the second quarter, I saw Torretta look over at me, and he froze for a second. I saw fear."
    John Copeland

  13. #12
    BamaNation All-SEC RTR_UA#1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Meridian, MS
    Posts
    1,040
    My Mood
    Inspired on TideFans.com

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    On their way back to campus from a game last fall, the awbarn football team drove past a billboard that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."

    By the time the bus driver had driven the eight miles, the team had cleaned 43 restrooms.

    Thanks barners!!
    ....."The price of victory is high but so are the rewards"....
    Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

  14. #13
    BamaNation Second Team BillDee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Athens, GA
    Posts
    230

    Re: Funny Auburn Jokes and Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by skrayper77 View Post
    I'll start:

    Do you know why Ponce de Leon started in Florida?
    Someone told him the Fountain of Youth was in Auburn!
    I've read this several times and still don't get it. Could someone please explain what I'm missing?

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
'Gear UP! Get your University of Alabama Crimson Tide National Championship & Football Dynasty Gear!