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  1. #14
    BamaNation Hall of Fame exiledNms's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    (oldie from the 70s; updated)

    Coach Saban's out for a Sunday afternoon drive in the country when he happens upon Gene Chizik walking down the road. Chiz is holding a leash attached to the biggest hog Coach Saban's ever seen. Coach Saban, incredulous, says "Where in the world did you get that animal?" And the pig says, "Bought him at an estate sale."

    *rimshot*
    exiled

    -------------------------
    "Let's see when we get a full body of work at the end of the season. If you get satisfied and you fall in love with yourself, you get complacent and lose your desire."
    Nick Saban

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  3. #15
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Alasippi's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    My favorite football joke of all time is actually a Bama joke.

    1: Hey did you hear? Coach Bryant broke his leg.
    2: Wow, what happened?
    1- He was walking his duck and a boat ran over him

  4. #16
    BamaNation Scout Team randytidmore's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    Why can they not have sex education and drivers ed at Auburn at the same time? They only have one donkey!!!
    SONOFBAMA

  5. #17
    BamaNation All-American mikes12's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    If it's okay to put in one for Notre Dame, I got this one:

    What does Notre Dame have in common with marijuana?


    Both get smoked in a bowl.

  6. #18
    BamaNation Second Team Bamabww's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    DISNEYLAND
    Two Auburn Fans were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

    FLORIDA OR MOON
    Two Auburn Fans living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one Auburn Fan says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther way... Florida or the moon?' The other Auburn Fan turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

    SPEEDING TICKET
    A police officer stops an Auburn Fan for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

    RIVER WALK
    There's this Auburn Fan out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another Auburn Fan on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
    The second Auburn Fan looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

    AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
    'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
    The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
    The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
    'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
    'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

    KNITTING
    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the Auburn Fan behind the wheel was knitting!
    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
    'NO!' the Auburn Fan yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

    AUBURN FAN ON THE SUN
    A Russian, an American, and an Auburn Fan were talking one day.
    The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
    The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
    The Auburn Fan said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
    'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
    To which the Auburn Fan replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

    IN A VACUUM
    An Auburn Fan was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

    FINALLY,
    A girl was visiting her Auburn Fan friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The Auburn Fan responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the Auburn Fan. 'They're watch dogs'!
    Bamabww

  7. #19
    BamaNation First Team bamadp's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    What's the difference between Jordan-Hare and a porcupine?



    One has 80,000 ...... on the outside...hahahaha
    If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you. - Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

  8. #20
    BamaNation All-American Catfish's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    What's the difference between Auburn cheerleaders and pigs?

    Pigs don't have zits.
    "...Defense shut 'em down! Offense make plays! Hey, let's go be champions, boys!"- Greg McElroy

  9. #21
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Alasippi's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    How do you make a Notre Dame Cake?

    Mix the ingredients in an orange bowl and beat the hell out of it for three hours.

  10. #22
    BamaNation First Team Alajambama's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    An Auburn fan and a Tennessee fan meet while walking the streets of Gatlinburg. The Tennessee fan asked "What does that A-U-B-U-R-N stand for on your shirt? The barner says, "Alabama Usually Beats Us Red Necks. What about the U-T on your hat?" The Tennessee fan said, "Us Too".
    The best thing to ever come out of Tennessee...I-65 heading south.

  11. #23
    BamaNation Third Team
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    Not football related per se and not a joke ... Auburn officials reported recently that they demolished an old wooden structure on campus and in doing so found Auburn's 1939 hide and go seek champion. The dead give away was that the skeleton still had the trophy clutched in its boney fingers.

  12. #24
    BamaNation Second Team
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    Alabama takes a slim lead late in the fourth quarter of the Iron Bowl. After Auburn returns the kickoff and starts their next drive, the coach says a quick prayer.

    "Lord, I don't ask for much but I need some help with this one. What play should I run?"

    To his surprise, he receives an answer: "Sweep to the left."

    The coach sends in the play and holds his breath. As the Auburn RB takes the pitch, he is immediately met by three defenders and fumbles the ball which Alabama returns for a touchdown.

    Deeply saddened, the Auburn coach needs answers. "Why, Lord, why would you tell me to run that play when I needed you the most?"

    "Hold on one moment, my child," says God before turning to his friend. "Coach Bryant, why did we tell him to run that play?"

  13. #25
    BamaNation Second Team
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    A high school senior takes a weekend visit to Auburn. He meets with his tour guide and off they go.

    While touring the dorms, his guide stops at every window and yells "Green side up!"

    After a few stops to yell out the window, the prospective student finally asks, "Why do you keep yelling that out the windows?"

    "Oh, it's no big deal," replies the guide. "There was a large patch of dead grass and we asked the football team to help us re-sod."

  14. #26
    BamaNation All-SEC p'colabamaman's Avatar
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    Re: What are Some of your Favorite Auburn/LSU/Tennessee Football Jokes?

    A barner goes into Toomer's Drugs and says,
    "I want three boxes of condoms."
    Clerk: "Here you are. Do you want a bag with that?"
    Barner: "Naaa, she's purty good looking>
    Let those who don't want none have memories of not getting any. Let that not be their punishment, but their reward. Brother Dave Gardner

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