1. I did not really have a choice. It was either do it or die. I was young though about 14 or so and I had no fear at the time. I remember sleeping like a baby up to the surgery. Just to relax you a little bit I was in surgery 14 straight hours, and recovered relatively fast, of course I was young though. They used bone from my ribs for my fusion, fwiw.
2. I’m about as well as can be expected. I have bad days, but I am able to work and that’s all I really wanted.
3. My recovery time was suppose to be a year before returning to normal but I played too many sports etc… I would say about 6 weeks things start getting somewhat normal, there should be numbness and it should go away, but it is really scary going through it. After 3 months I was up and about. At your sons age it is very important to take it easy so the fusion holds.
4. Sadly, I do but you learn to live with it. Your son is correct in avoiding the Narcos they are horrible for chronic pain. Also, back pain is what all the dope heads use to get Narcos from their doctors so it is best to try to avoid it if possible. The best killer of all time is simply think about something else, I know it sounds stupid but it works.
My concerns and thoughts.
Did they explain to you how/if his range of motion will be after the surgery? It seems like he will not be able to bend with them going all the way down to S1. Make sure he understands how his range of motion can be affected, it is a shocker if one is not ready for it.
Usually the fused parts of the spine are not the ones to worry about. It is the vertebrate right above and below the fusion that gets worn down because the spine can no longer move the way it is suppose to.
It should really help with his pain after the surgery is done, and most people live a 95% normal life, of course any back surgery changes your way of living.
Hot baths are great, the best really. Everyone I know with back pain puts Epson salt in their bath but I do not know if it is Placebo or not. I do know when you are hurting your will drink horse .... if someone tells you it will help.
Lastly, I would strongly encourage him to avoid looking up things on Google after the surgery, as most things will be OMG your life is over and people freak out. It can be very depressing. If yall must use Google, do it for him.
I know well over a hundred people that have been through this and are fine, let me know if you have anymore questions. Hope this helps.