Anyone Need a Good Laugh?? - Ridiculous Aubie Article

snake plissken

1st Team
Apr 13, 2011
578
35
47
Birmingham
http://auburn.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1580875&PT=4&PR=2

My favorite comical parts

"Alabama has never seen an environment like they will Saturday." Hello, In the past couple of years alone, 2 BCS Championship Games, at LSU, at A&M, at Penn State, at Florida, kickoff classic games against VA Tech and Michigan, and an SEC Championship Game.

My absolute favorite is "Bama has not played anyone tough this year because their only 2 hard games (A&M, LSU) had bye weeks before." Ummm, I guess Va Tech and their defense is a pushover, and shutting out a fiesty Ole Miss team who beat LSU was overlooked too.

Like I said, for a good chuckle enjoy this totally blind and slanted article.
 

lelandhorne

1st Team
Sep 21, 2013
377
0
0
Bye weeks actually hurt our offense early on in my opinion. In both the LSU and A&M games our offense took a few drives to get into rhythm.
 

Crimson1967

Hall of Fame
Nov 22, 2011
18,759
9,951
187
Any English teachers out there want to get out their red pens and grade the article? I saw two or three grammatical errors just from a quick scan.
 

Shoeless

Scout Team
Jun 6, 2010
194
0
0
The author is so self confident he predicted a landslide victory of...... (drum roll)...... 1 point.

He really isn't laying 'em on the line.

Bama by 21
 

rolltide7854

All-American
Aug 20, 2007
2,039
1,067
187
Birmingham, Ala
So it is an advantage for aubie that they have struggled to win some games while the Tide has only been challenged twice this season. That makes sense.:rolleyes:
 

78Alum

All-American
Aug 1, 2007
2,677
725
162
67
Alabaster, AL
This poster that commented to the article says it well... I am looking for the Tide to Roll!

[SIZE=3 said:
e.sillery (signed in using yahoo)

I am very excited about this game, but don't forget you are asking your DL to do something that has not been done in three years, force AJ to make mistakes. Bama has two strong points, AJ does not get forced into mistakes, and they wear every team down by the fourth quarter.
 

tmv85

All-SEC
Any English teachers out there want to get out their red pens and grade the article? I saw two or three grammatical errors just from a quick scan.
ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!

The majority of his sentences are fragments. Sure, fragments can be used for emphasis, but that techniques needs to be used sparingly. Three-fourths of the "paper" does not need to be made up of sentence fragments.

I saw a couple of subject/verb errors.

The flow was choppy. That goes back to the sentence fragments.

Without having a red pen to mark errors, I'd say at first glance this is a C "paper."
 

GP for Bama

All-American
Feb 3, 2011
4,335
1,100
187
I tend to agree,somewhat, about the atmosphere. The only comparable anti-Alabama atmospheres in the last couple of years....was A&M this year and LSU last year. If AU stays in the game at all, then it will be very loud. It could give us some problems... But I suspect we will be ready for it.
 

AgentAntiOrange

1st Team
Dec 30, 2009
888
0
0
Norman, OK
Being more physical than Ole Miss.
The maturity and physical domination displayed on the road in Fayetteville and Knoxville.
an immense opportunity.....Reclaim this state.....Finish the renaissance that Gus Malzahn has begin(begun)
most difficult environment for a visiting team perhaps ever
The fact we've won 10 games using one page of Malzahn playbook is a nightmare for Kirby Smart

Seriously. That guy printed all of that stuff, lol. It's not that Auburn has zero chance....but they are delusional just the same.
 

selmaborntidefan

TideFans Legend
Mar 31, 2000
36,432
29,736
287
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The drive versus State.

Who barely beat Kentucky and is a bottom tier SEC team....

The never-quit attitude and toughness in defeat in Baton Rouge.

We lost but we tried REAL hahd....

Being more physical than Ole Miss.

Vanderbilt was more physical than Ole Miss.

Absorbing and countering each shot taken by the reigning Heisman trophy winner.

Whose team's defense sucks

The maturity and physical domination displayed on the road in Fayetteville and Knoxville.

The Hawgs barely beat Samford. At home.
The Vols barely beat South Alabama. At Home.

The domination of Georgia only to see it slip away in the fourth quarter, yet respond with the play of the year in college football.

Georgia had almost as many yards as you did and was much better (50% to 33%) on third down. Play of the year? Yeah, just like Gus drew it up, right?

Why I like Auburn's chances?

Jack Daniels?

Atmosphere in Auburn. Alabama, as a program and the individual players representing this team, has played in many huge games on a national stage. No atmosphere it's encountered will equate even partially to the scene they'll witness in Auburn.

True enough, there were no tractors in Pasadena.

It'll be the single most difficult environment for a visiting team perhaps ever.

App State going into the Big House has NOTHING on this!!!

Why? Because of the stakes. Because we've never seen Alabama and Auburn meet in a playoff-type scenario.

Because Auburn has been perpetually bad for a century.

Because of the vitriolic tone the rivalry has taken, where emotions have become actions.

I'll see your Harvey Updyke and raise you Auburn boosters bribing Gene Jelks - want to have a morality argument?


Auburn's poker face. The fact we've won 10 games using one page of Malzahn playbook is a nightmare for Kirby Smart as he prepares for Auburn's tendencies.

As opposed to the last time Smart squared off against Play Caller Gus and shut him out.

Auburn has shown nothing,

I'm convinced of that.

instead choosing to win games with brute force in vanilla fashion.

And praying to God every time Marshall drops back to pass. We know about that at Alabama - we did have a QB named Freddie Kitchens.

It's been demoralizing for those attempting to stop it and it's allowed Malzahn and Lashlee the advantage of arriving to this enormous stage with wrinkles and variations Alabama can't rehearse. In truth, the Alabama offense has this same advantage; they're just as vanilla as Auburn. Still, the key that creates an Auburn advantage here is Malzahn's creativity and his ability to attack deficiencies. He'll earn his money finding those deficiencies in this opponent, but I'd place my money on Gus identifying them and those weaknesses being exposed.

Then why didn't he do it with the defending national champions in 2011?

Off week. Couldn't have come at a more opportune time.

Keep this one in mind - it's about to be very important....

Battle tested in the big games. Alabama has strolled through this season. Its schedule was set up perfectly for success -- off weeks before their only tests in A&M and LSU.

But you were just fine with that a moment ago. And if I hear one more "Bama schedule" story I'm gonna throw up. 2010 - remember that? That's the year Auburn would NOT move a game to the off-week before Alabama so that the Tide only would face FOUR as opposed to SIX teams with two weeks to prep.

Catching the worst of the SEC East.

We didn't play Florida.

No true road test since September 14.

Which was the SAME OPPONENT as YOUR last true road test, and you got the benefit of watching how we (didn't) stop them.

Quite frankly, the Tide hasn't truly been challenged.

We get 60 minutes like everyone else does.

How will it respond when that day arrives? Auburn conversely has been tested repeatedly

Because they're not as good as Alabama. And they've played pretty much the same conference schedule except for Georgia/Kentucky...

and has shown the resolve to endure. Minus an early hole in Baton Rouge, this team has persevered and excelled. That experience may pay enormous dividends in a tight game.

I'm trying to figure out the logic: beating the exact same teams as Alabama by LESS than Alabama somehow is a test that prepares you to beat Alabama, who hasn't been tested? HUH!!!!!????!!!!

Nick Marshall's athleticism. It's no secret Alabama's Achilles heel has been mobile quarterbacks having success keeping plays alive.

Uh, no. This is an ESPN fallacy. And are you seriously suggesting Marshall is the second coming of Johnny Autograph?


Special Teams success. There are not two better, more consistent kickers than Cody Parkey and Steven Clark. These guys need to have tremendous days and make Alabama drive the length of the field for points.
With all the attention and intrigue surrounding Auburn's dominant rushing attack versus Alabama's tremendous defense, I really feel like this game will boil down to the Auburn defense and the ability to limit the Alabama ground game.


I must admit - this is NOT stupid at all.

Their best performance against the run was against Georgia.

Sure it was - because Georgia is 15th in passing yards and 56th (halfway down the chart) in rushing yards.

Auburn needs to play for 30 points. That's the magical number. Auburn has now won its last 86 games when the 30 point threshold has been eclipsed.

Number of times Alabama has given up 30 points this year: 1
Number of times Alabama has given up 30 points in the Crystal Dynasty era: 2 (2010 SC, 2013 aTm)
Last time Auburn scored 30 points on Alabama: 1995
Number of times Auburn has scored 30 points on Alabama since 1971: 2
 

Crimson1967

Hall of Fame
Nov 22, 2011
18,759
9,951
187
Without doing the research, I would wager most teams have a pretty good record when they score 30 or more points.
 

tmv85

All-SEC
Auburn's poker face. The fact we've won 10 games using one page of Malzahn playbook is a nightmare for Kirby Smart as he prepares for Auburn's tendencies.

As opposed to the last time Smart squared off against Play Caller Gus and shut him out.

Auburn has shown nothing,

I'm convinced of that.

instead choosing to win games with brute force in vanilla fashion.

And praying to God every time Marshall drops back to pass. We know about that at Alabama - we did have a QB named Freddie Kitchens.
He tweeted about using only one page of the play book a few days ago. Somebody commented that they should have looked beyond page one during the LSU game. For some reason, he had no reply. LOL

I love your comments. You should put them into the comments section of his article.
 

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