Most Pathetic Way You Have Injured Yourself

gmart74

Hall of Fame
Oct 9, 2005
12,344
2
57
Baltimore, Md
I am watching Tiger Woods back injury and it got me thinking of the most pathetic ways I have injured myself.

1. I was sleeping on my side, lifted my head, and heard 3 distinct crunches. It was the worst pinched nerve in my neck I have ever had. I think it took me at least a week before I could turn my head.

2. I signed up for company softball. I'm playing in outfield and the ball is hit directly at me. I didnt even take a single step to catch the ball. I then softly throw the ball to 2nd base, and tear my calf. I have played soccer all my life so tearing a calf while basically standing still in softball is the ultimate insult.


Feel free to share your own.
 

jthomas666

Hall of Fame
Aug 14, 2002
22,587
9,642
287
60
Birmingham & Warner Robins
I have an exceptionally loud, violent sneeze. I--and my brothers--got it from my dad. One year I was working as an office assistant in the C&BA Deans office at Alabama, and was having a bad sinus day. The dean's secretary asked me if there was anything I could do to sneeze quieter. So the next time I felt a sneeze coming, I braced myself and tried to stifle the sneeze.

Bad move. I partially tore a muscle in my back.

My oldest brother topped me, though, by actually breaking his back sneezing.

Then there was the time I was working out, and afterwards one of my obliques was a little tight. That night, I got hit with a vicious stomach virus. And while I knelt, puking my guts out, I pulled that oblique.

And I wasn't finished vomiting.
Ever try to scream while vomiting? I don't recommend it.
 

seebell

Hall of Fame
Mar 12, 2012
11,919
5,105
187
Gurley, Al
Working on my house. Up on a ladder. Prying with a crowbar. It slipped and hit me smack dab in the nose. Whoa it hurt. Wifey was watching me. She laughed and laughed.

Was working on a roof. I was seething with anger over some perceived slight. I was focusing on what I would do to my enemy. Walked off the roof into thin air. Landed on a bush and bounced off onto the ground. Stunned for a few minutes. I then decided then that my anger was not productive.
 

dvldog

Hall of Fame
Sep 20, 2005
6,570
347
107
72
Virginia
This past winter we had a pretty good morning frost. I put a small scrapper in my left hand to reach across and scrape the drivers side front window. I pushed the scrapper across and for some reason the scrapper bit into the frost and stopped but my wrist kept going. No major damage but it still hurts after golf etc.
 

bamachile

Hall of Fame
Jul 27, 2007
7,992
1
55
56
Oakdale, Louisiana
The first time I threw out my back was legit, I was pushing a helicopter down the ramp. The second time, though, I threw it out reaching for a shirt in my closet.

Friday, my sciatic nerve locked me down - I'm still either in a wheelchair or walking with a cane. All I did was turn around...
 

cbi1972

Hall of Fame
Nov 8, 2005
18,139
1,295
182
51
Birmingham, AL
Working on my house. Up on a ladder. Prying with a crowbar. It slipped and hit me smack dab in the nose. Whoa it hurt. Wifey was watching me. She laughed and laughed.

Was working on a roof. I was seething with anger over some perceived slight. I was focusing on what I would do to my enemy. Walked off the roof into thin air. Landed on a bush and bounced off onto the ground. Stunned for a few minutes. I then decided then that my anger was not productive.
It just wasn't your day.
 

ValuJet

Moderator
Sep 28, 2000
22,626
19
0
Working on my house. Up on a ladder. Prying with a crowbar. It slipped and hit me smack dab in the nose. Whoa it hurt. Wifey was watching me. She laughed and laughed.

Was working on a roof. I was seething with anger over some perceived slight. I was focusing on what I would do to my enemy. Walked off the roof into thin air. Landed on a bush and bounced off onto the ground. Stunned for a few minutes. I then decided then that my anger was not productive.
Was it when Reagan said "Mr. Gorbacev, tear down this wall?" :biggrin2:
 

Tide1986

Suspended
Nov 22, 2008
15,670
2
0
Birmingham, AL
This doesn't count because I didn't injure myself; nevertheless...

20 years ago when I was standing in the garden center at Home Depot in Spartanburg, South Carolina, a sign fell from the ceiling and landed squarely on my big toe and broke it.
 

Displaced Bama Fan

Hall of Fame
Jun 5, 2000
23,344
39
167
Shiner, TX
I bent over to pick a piece of paper off the kitchen floor and my back gave out and I hit the ground. Granted, I had been cutting limbs all day prior to the incident, but still, a freaking piece of paper?
 

Displaced Bama Fan

Hall of Fame
Jun 5, 2000
23,344
39
167
Shiner, TX
Working on my house. Up on a ladder. Prying with a crowbar. It slipped and hit me smack dab in the nose. Whoa it hurt. Wifey was watching me. She laughed and laughed.

Was working on a roof. I was seething with anger over some perceived slight. I was focusing on what I would do to my enemy. Walked off the roof into thin air. Landed on a bush and bounced off onto the ground. Stunned for a few minutes. I then decided then that my anger was not productive.
Yeah, sorry about the slight btw. ;)
 

exiledNms

Hall of Fame
Aug 2, 2002
5,443
7
0
Hattiesburg, MS (USA)
In the most utterly un-cool, un-macho bike wreck in the history of the universe. I'm about 3 feet away from my car about to get on the bike & on the rails-to-trails path. (note to all concerned parties: I never ride on the road. You're welcome. ;) ) I push away to coast up to the path; bike hits a rock just right & I bit the dust in a fairly spectacular manner, causing the couple who were just leaving to stop, roll down the window, & check on me. No major injuries, but I did put a fairly impressive strawberry on my knee that bled a fair amount.
I was chatting about biking with a HS classmate later. She attempted to cheer me up by saying she had once gotten her bike shoe clips caught & went down like that. I told her I wasn't wearing clip-in shoes; she agreed that there's no way to make this wreck sound cool.

Of course, I've also reached that magic age where I sprain stuff & pull muscles & such just sleeping and/or getting out of bed in the a.m. :pDT_old:
 

BamaFlum

Hall of Fame
Dec 11, 2002
7,176
1,609
287
53
S.A., TX, USA
Several years ago, I was leaning over the tub trying to install the handle and my lower back went out. Has bothered me ever since. No heavy lifting, just stretching out over a stinking bath tub.
 

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