Link: The most ridiculous excuses for skipping work

TexasBama

TideFans Legend
Jan 15, 2000
25,832
29,048
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Houston, Texas USA
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/most-ridiculous-excuses-skipping-114000466.html

The List

1. I just put a casserole in the oven.

2. My plastic surgery needed some "tweaking" to get it just right.

3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle. (If you sit there long enough, its possible)

4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

5. I woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it. This is actually pretty awesome

6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.

7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out.

8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.

9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

10. I accidentally got on a plane.
 

AgentAntiOrange

1st Team
Dec 30, 2009
888
0
0
Norman, OK
My 2 favorites:

1.I have had 2 separate employees who did not work here at the same time and did not know each other call in and say: "I'm sick. I think I ate too much bacon last night."

2.I once worked with a guy who always told his employers prior to being hired that he did suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and that, from time to time, it would flare up and he might miss a day or 2. He never called in for any reason other than this. He said that he figured that when women called in and said they had "female problems" that they got a free pass and he wanted one, too.
 

DzynKingRTR

TideFans Legend
Dec 17, 2003
42,219
29,379
287
Vinings, ga., usa
I was going to come in but then I didn't.

How do you know I am not already there?


The Walking Dead marathon is on.

I am meeting with a divorce lawyer today. My new wife just had a baby and it is a midget. She cheated on me with a midget stripper.
 

TideMom2Boys

Hall of Fame
Nov 17, 2010
20,214
398
102
Alabama
My husband is a branch manager and their company has a policy on what he can and cannot ask.

They call in and all he can say is "are you sick?" And leave it at that. He can't ask why or any details.
 

Bama Reb

Suspended
Nov 2, 2005
14,446
0
0
On the lake and in the woods, AL
I've heard most every excuse that I can think of, and none of them are ridiculous, as long as the excuse is the truth. If an employee makes an excuse to me for missing work and that excuse turns out to be a lie, then that employee automatically becomes an ex-employee.
I can accept a lot of things from an employee. A lie is not one of them.
 

RTR91

Super Moderator
Nov 23, 2007
39,407
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Prattville
Coworker called in a few weeks ago because a wasp stung her for the second straight day. Both stings came on her breast.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Aledinho

All-SEC
Feb 22, 2007
1,377
3
57
When I call out for work, I like to use the task in whatever video game I am playing.

e.g., "Andrew Ryan just poisoned all the trees in rapture so I've got to make a Lazarus Vector to cure them. I've got the distilled water and the most of the chlorophyll but I don't know where I'm going to get the bee enzymes. I'll try to make it in later, but to be honest this looks like it will take all day."
 

Crimson1967

Hall of Fame
Nov 22, 2011
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The secretary where I once worked told me a guy called in and said he wasn't coming in because it was Friday the 13th.
 

Bama Reb

Suspended
Nov 2, 2005
14,446
0
0
On the lake and in the woods, AL
When I lived in South Carolina (about a lifetime ago) a co-worker used to always take off on Martin Luther King' birthday. The boss never said a word.. Of course the boss never looked in the guy's employment application.
If he had, he would have found out that it wasn't just MLK's birthday. It was his employee's birthday as well. :biggrin:
 

exiledNms

Hall of Fame
Aug 2, 2002
5,443
7
0
Hattiesburg, MS (USA)
--I'm experiencing a flare-up of my chronic raging apathy. Sorry.

--It's Shark Week.

--Sorry, Shawshank Redemption is on, and since it's only shown on TV about every 48 hours,...
 

TrueCrimson7

All-American
Sep 21, 2014
2,719
706
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USA
I knew a fellow student in my high school that turned in a hand-written note to the principal's office stating "Please excuse (his name) from school yesterday. I was sick"
 

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