Supreme Court Ruling: It was Only a Matter of Time

jthomas666

Hall of Fame
Aug 14, 2002
22,587
9,640
287
60
Birmingham & Warner Robins
Supreme Court Rules JCPenney Allowed to Sacrifice Employees to Appease Cthulhu

Citing the newly-established precedent of corporate-religious exemption, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Tuesday in favor of JCPenney, upholding the company's right to sacrifice pure-hearted employees in order to assuage the Dread Lord Cthulhu, Bringer of Madness.

The Penney estate, devout cultists and owners of the multibillion-dollar chain of mid-range department stores, joined by CEO Mike Ullman, sued the government in 2012 when new federal employee protections made it illegal for them to hire virgin maidens for the sole purpose of spilling their blood on the Altar of the Cosmos, with the hope that such an offering will prolong the Great Old One's slumber in the sunken city of R'lyeh. - See more at: http://www.moonmontchronicle.com/su...-to-appease-cthulhu.html#sthash.YkMarnc6.dpuf

Citing the newly-established precedent of corporate-religious exemption, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Tuesday in favor of JCPenney, upholding the company's right to sacrifice pure-hearted employees in order to assuage the Dread Lord Cthulhu, Bringer of Madness.

The Penney estate, devout cultists and owners of the multibillion-dollar chain of mid-range department stores, joined by CEO Mike Ullman, sued the government in 2012 when new federal employee protections made it illegal for them to hire virgin maidens for the sole purpose of spilling their blood on the Altar of the Cosmos, with the hope that such an offering will prolong the Great Old One's slumber in the sunken city of R'lyeh.
 

chanson78

All-American
Nov 1, 2005
2,926
1,795
187
47
Huntsville, AL
I swear it is amazing the stories that come out in April. This is the first time I have ever heard a religious exemption law being put to good use.
 

selmaborntidefan

TideFans Legend
Mar 31, 2000
36,432
29,735
287
54
Yes, folks, it's the Obama supporters favorite "holiday," where fictions like "you can keep your doctor" are revealed for the jokes they actually are.
 

New Posts

Latest threads

TideFans.shop : 2024 Madness!

TideFans.shop - Get YOUR Bama Gear HERE!”></a>
<br />

<!--/ END TideFans.shop & item link \-->
<p style= Purchases made through our TideFans.shop and Amazon.com links may result in a commission being paid to TideFans.