According To Science, You've Probably Been Pooping Wrong Your Whole Life
- Thread starter BamaPokerplayer
- Start date
True story.
When I went to Kuwait the first time, the Iraqis had just left a day or so beforehand. Me and my guys were billeting in a dormitory belonging to the Kuwaiti Finance Ministry that the Iraqi Army had used as barracks for their army of occupation. The Kuwaitis, being slightly westernized, had sit-down commodes in their dorm. When they got to town, the Iraqis had ripped out all the sit-down commodes and left a hole in the floor into which they did their business.
Not wishing to be culturally insensitive, the Iraqis have it wrong. The "scientists" here can squat over a hole all they want. I'll take a sit-down commode, thank you very much.
When I went to Kuwait the first time, the Iraqis had just left a day or so beforehand. Me and my guys were billeting in a dormitory belonging to the Kuwaiti Finance Ministry that the Iraqi Army had used as barracks for their army of occupation. The Kuwaitis, being slightly westernized, had sit-down commodes in their dorm. When they got to town, the Iraqis had ripped out all the sit-down commodes and left a hole in the floor into which they did their business.
Not wishing to be culturally insensitive, the Iraqis have it wrong. The "scientists" here can squat over a hole all they want. I'll take a sit-down commode, thank you very much.
When in China, we saw plenty of squat toilets. Luckily, they also had toilets the way God intended them to be.
Walking past a stall without a door and seeing someone sitting on the toilet isn't nearly as bad as walking past one and seeing someone squatting. :eek2:
Walking past a stall without a door and seeing someone sitting on the toilet isn't nearly as bad as walking past one and seeing someone squatting. :eek2:
I'm in even worse shape, I guess. Ever since I had my hip replacement, I've had the seat blocked up even 2" higher, sort of like a handicapped toilet. In fact, a regular toilet feels like I'm squatting now... 
My BIL was given a long lecture on defecating properly by his wife! He didn't take it well.:eek2: Must be the latest thing.
I replaced my toilets with "handicapped" toilets. Almost 2 inches higher. Much better!
Yea Earle, a regular toilet seems weird now. My toilets are Gerber Avalanches. What a name for a commode.
I replaced my toilets with "handicapped" toilets. Almost 2 inches higher. Much better!
Yea Earle, a regular toilet seems weird now. My toilets are Gerber Avalanches. What a name for a commode.
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Another true story.
In Afghanistan, even on a base, one never knew what was waiting for them in a stall. On multiple occasions, I entered a stall and there were shoe prints on the toilet seat. Also, water all over the place and empty water bottles on the floor. Hand-held bidets, I suppose.
I've known Afghans to squat over the hole in a dark latrine, with the lid down, leaving something on top of the lid in the dark. Talk about an irate First Sergeant the next morning! I told, him, "Hey, Top, you know none of the gringos did that, right?"
What a crappy thread.
Learning how everybody does number two? Not exactly high on my list of "things I'd like to know about other Tide fans."
Learning how everybody does number two? Not exactly high on my list of "things I'd like to know about other Tide fans."
Not shocking. I remember reading somewhere that sitting to do your business leads to some health issues like increased risk of trouble with hemorrhoids and diverticulitis of the colon.
A bit off topic, but, the NCOs in my unit, being the smart-alecks that they were, looked at the huge pile of discarded commodes in the courtyard and tried to get creative as to what to do with them.
We had a general scheduled to come for a visit, so the guys went to work and arranged the discarded commodes into the numbers of the unit designation "1/3" to show our unit pride. The company commander was less than thrilled, but I thought it was pretty funny.
Isn't it hard to read a book, magazine, or newspaper about Bama football unless you are in a good sitting position? I'll take a commode any day.
Mine is a supposedly temporary arrangement. There's a block in the back and front and one on each side. They're all Velcroed to the lid, so they lift with the lid. It's much easier to clean than one of the raising rings which go all way around. "Soldiers" remark reminded me that, way back, when my brother started practicing as a CPA, he had a real estate business on the side, with a partner, who came from very far back out in the sticks. He was old in the '50s. He had been raised using an outhouse and apparently used it by feet on each side of the hole. Occasionally, the other employees would come in and there would be muddy footprints on the lid and all hell would break loose. He died fairly shortly, while I was still working for my brother and I was drafted as pallbearer. The burial was in a little cemetery up in northern Madison County - in August. He weighed at least 300lb, and that was back in the day when the pallbearers were still expected actually to "bear." We struggled uphill with that casket and I've never been so drenched in a suit in my life. Personally, I've done a lot of pooping in my backpacking life while squatting and I can't tell that the results vary at all. Which leads to a couple of backpacking tales. One couple we use to pack with some time ago, the gal was a tall willowy blonde, former TV news anchor here. She confessed that she simply had to find a log to flop over. Her quads were just not strong enough for a squat. OK, a couple of other backpacking/poop tales. I was packing out in WY, Wind River Range, going back to camp, when I rounded a bend in the trail and there was a fat butt hanging out over a trunk, facing in my direction. He couldn't have been more than 25 feet from a small lake, strictly forbidden in the wilderness area rules of use. He tried to act indignant with me for discovering him, but I wasn't having any of it, no matter how few people were in the area and gave it right back to him. One last bizarre incident, also involving a tall willowy blonde. A friend and I had been illegally camping at High Rocks in the GSMNP and were coming over Blockhouse Mountain towards Spence Field. This is a very unfrequented part of the park. We came down into a campsite, once again rarely used, and there was a very pretty blond girl standing in the middle of the trail, in the middle of the campsite. Right beside her was her presumed boyfriend, pants around his ankles, in the middle of a dump. He was a dwarf. As we passed by, he snarled "A man can't take a crap anywhere these days." (He didn't use "crap.") Neither Chris nor I said anything. Hell, I couldn't think of anything to say. After we rounded a bend, I said "Did you see what I just saw?" He said "I think so..."My BIL was given a long lecture on defecating properly by his wife! He didn't take it well.:eek2: Must be the latest thing.
I replaced my toilets with "handicapped" toilets. Almost 2 inches higher. Much better!
Yea Earle, a regular toilet seems weird now. My toilets are Gerber Avalanches. What a name for a commode.
Actually that's fairly accurate. If a person were to put a small stool (not a "natural" stool though) or other prop in front of the commode and prop their feet up on it, it makes one mimic the squat position, hence they will probably find the "go" a lot easier. There are even some brands of toilet seats designed so as to let the person sit lower on the seat thereby accomplishing the same purpose.
Frankly, I'm surprised a lot of you didn't already know this.
And, frankly, I don't buy it at all. Look at a cutaway of the human digestive system and tell me exactly what part of the colon is "straightened out" by squatting. I'll anticipate the answer - you can't, because that's not the way you are plumbed at all. Nothing straightens out when one squats. The societies which squat also have very high fiber diets, as opposed to western diets - far more important to diverticulosis than pooping posture. It's the old Twain "damnable statistics" confounding factor. BTW, diverticulosis is highly heritable, across generations of meat eaters, so there's that other confounding factor making it harder for junk science writers. I'll need a lot more convincing...
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