OFs should be the foot soldiers...

TIDE-HSV

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Oct 13, 1999
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Copied from a friend's Facebook post...

Tony Rose

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-......
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.
 

Al A Bama

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Jun 24, 2011
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Re: OFs should be the foot shoulders...

Copied from a friend's Facebook post...

Tony Rose

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-......
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.
Sign me up, I agree with the content of this post.
 

Relayer

Hall of Fame
Mar 25, 2001
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Re: OFs should be the foot shoulders...

I wish they'd let me back in.
 

TIDE-HSV

Senior Administrator
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Oct 13, 1999
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Re: OFs should be the foot shoulders...

I've read that before, and it's as funny now as it was then. As to why youngsters are sent to war first, it's called infantry for a reason.
Actually you've hit it. Most people make it to their early 30s until they look in the mirror one day and think "It's not going to take an accident after all." IOW, they think they're immortal and it's going to happen to the other guy. I think I was 50 when I had my last near-death experience in a kayak and decided to grow up and be fair to my wife. What doesn't fit this paradigm are well-aged professional troops like the Roman Legions (toward the end, not even mostly Italian). They never expected to quit until death or retirement. The Roman Republic institutionalized a standing professional army and ended the emergency conscription system which arose again in the dark ages and lasted until past the middle ages. What I'm getting at was that even the OFs in the Roman Legions were well past the age of deniability of mortality. In fact, that's true of today's older noncoms. But, by and large, you're correct. Armies are best made up of guys in their late teens/early twenties...
 

ValuJet

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Sep 28, 2000
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Re: OFs should be the foot shoulders...

I can't run very well any more but I can ride in a tank and blow up stuff.
 

selmaborntidefan

TideFans Legend
Mar 31, 2000
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Re: OFs should be the foot shoulders...

Back during the first Gulf War, Lewis Grizzard proposed something similar. He quoted an old buddy who said, "You know, they oughta send them young boys back here to make babies and send us old geezers over there to take care of Iraq - we're gonna die sooner anyway."
 

TIDE-HSV

Senior Administrator
Staff member
Oct 13, 1999
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Huntsville, AL,USA
Re: OFs should be the foot shoulders...

I appreciate everyone being so nice as to not point out my stupid typo in the original title... :)
 

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