I've thought about my pet peeves, and they're all really symptoms of the same thing: Oblivious self-centeredness. The obliviot is either too stupid to realize they're affecting others, or too selfish to care. Maybe both.
Lots of symptoms, but here are a few:
- Women at a packed bar, setting purses on barstools. If there are two of these obliviots, that's two people taking up four seats. When you ask them to move the purse, no matter how politely, they either act like you're the jerk, or that it's a gobsmacking surprise to them what they've done. Are you stupid, sweetheart, or do you think I am?
- People who stop a grocery cart in the middle of an aisle, thereby blocking traffic both ways, taking their own sweet time deciding between french-cut or regular green beans.
- People who walk into a store, get about 4 feet past the doorway, and stop to get their bearings. For a long time. Thereby blocking traffic both ways.
- People who walk down the middle of the driving lane in a parking lot, slowly trying to remember where they parked their car.
- People who stop in the middle of a crowded concourse to catch up with an old friend. Inevitably, it's two couples, so four people are now clogging up the walkway.
For the love of all that's holy, people....I understand getting lost, seeing old friends, being torn on a decision, whatever. Pull over to the side, out of the way, and do what you have to do. Just don't hold up the rest of the world while you get your [act] together.
- People who talk on a cell phone with the speaker on, forcing everybody within earshot to hear their never-ending inane conversation about nothing.
- People who, after waiting in the checkout line for 15 minutes, act like it's a gobsmacking surprise that they have to pay. Rather than have their money, card & ID, phone, checkbook, whatever, ready to go, they're fumbling through pockets or a purse big enough to be the Black Hole of Calcutta.
- People who have a dog at a pet-friendly restaurant or bar, but the &*^%* dog is either (1) endlessly yapping at the other dogs, or (2) far worse, the dog is big enough to do some no-fooling damage to another animal or human, and is growling in a menacing manner. The owner is (or pretends to be) oblivious to the whole thing.
- Parents who let their children do the same thing.
- It's 4th and 1 at the 4. People, usually but not always under 20, who sit yapping through the whole 3-minute TV time-out, pick the instant when the play clock starts to move their entire party of 8 (bumpity, bumpity, bumpity, bump) down the row to the bathroom.
- The obliviot who parks on the right side of the street, gets out, opens the back door into traffic, and putzes around with their gear in the back seat...their door and their butt hanging out into traffic. First, that's godamighty dangerous. Second, if the next driver is paying attention, he has to stop, slow down or change lanes. If he's not paying attention, well, that might not end well. How hard is it to do your putzing on the passenger side, out of the way of traffic? Infinitely safer for you, and a lot easier on the other drivers.
NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!!!