JessN: Auburn wrap-up: Necessary or not, Bama makes its statement

JessN

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Auburn wrap-up: Necessary or not, Bama makes its statement
by Jess Nicholas
TideFans Editor-In-Chief
November 25th, 2018 03:54 AM

Somewhere in this world, it makes sense, with 2:31 on the first-half clock and playing your rival in your rival's house, to sit on a three-point deficit and go into the half down 17-14.

That place is not Bryant-Denny Stadium, that's for sure. But that didn't stop Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn from doing the above Saturday evening with his Tigers closely trailing a much more explosive – and better – Alabama team.

[…]

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TideEngineer08

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Gus is truly a circus clown coach. He's perfect for their fan base, but Jess is right, most of their fans hate him.

I'll give him credit for somehow catching lightning in a bottle twice (really once; last year was more about injuries than anything else). But last night was an embarrassment of a team that knew it couldn't compete, and wouldn't do the honorable thing of at least trying.
 

tusks_n_raider

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"Remember when you were wasting time in seventh-grade study hall and you started drawing up trick plays in your spiral notebooks because you couldn’t stomach any more algebra? In Auburn, they call that “offensive coordination.”

 

Rush

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Brilliant, in both form and substance, Jess.

And as for one of this week's literary gems?

"More importantly, ask Auburn how it feels to be completely impotent on offense without resorting to a heavy dose of the playground-level trickery that has become Gus Malzahn’s signature."

Bravo!
 

selmaborntidefan

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I'm trying to figure out how JessN knew I was drawing up trick plays in study hall in seventh grade......(I didn't take Algebra until ninth grade, but I was avoiding diagramming sentences for English or reading Earth Science)....
 

selmaborntidefan

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I will not use the words I was using yesterday, but I've rarely been as royally ticked off as I was when Gus played that high school garbage crap that he drew up for yesterday. I had folks I was texting not believing the level of vitriol I was firing off because I have ZERO respect for that horse manure junk that Gus Malzahn calls coaching football. I've always thought he was a bit of a joke as a football coach anyway and yesterday was the seminal moment of validation as to what a putz he REALLY is as a coach.

I totally understand when razzle dazzle plays like the Music City Miracle are invoked. You use them in desperate times of win or lose. I mean, even we did that against Clemson two years ago on fourth day, the Ardarius Stewart pass. So it's not the notion of one of those plays somehow being against the spirit of the game.

But the Riddler yesterday put on a clinic of "Plays I Drew Up On My I Phone While Taking a Dump."

Remember the play when the guy got knocked out of bounds and the ball flew up in the air and the lineman "recovered" it? It would have served Gus right as the epitaph to a (mostly) mediocre coaching career had that ball flown into the hands of our DB and he raced the entire way for a touchdown. I've never been one of those Alabama fans who by instinct hates Auburn or thinks everything they do is wrong or crooked or anything. I'm as fair and impartial a fan as you're ever going to find as I attempt to be in all things.

But I had a visceral level of hatred for that kind of habberdashery yesterday, I will NEVER respect that, and anyone who thinks THAT is football needs to be grinded into mince meat and deposited in the smelliest Porta-John in Opelika.

Remember the 2009 game in JHS? Do you remember what happened in his first year as OC?

After getting a first down, they ran a misdirection pitch to Zachary, who beat his only guy for a touchdown. As much as I don't like that stuff, at least that was straight up and, okay, you got us.

Then their kicker pulled some trickery and faked his way back to kickoff and they got an onsides kick.


When we fell behind, 14-0, I was at work that day and asked about it. I said, "You realize that a team that does that stuff that early is going to lose, right? They just informed everyone that they can't win the game straight up."

That was utterly pathetic yesterday. "Hey, we can't beat you at football so let's change the name of the game into some sort of nonsense and snicker when we score."


In all honesty, I was in grievance mode from that double pass until that Auburn player got hurt.

I don't respect that kind of "football" and I damn sure don't respect the sissies who run such plays, either.

Line up and play football or get out of the game.
 

selmaborntidefan

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Which was worse? Malzahn running out the first half clock or Saban letting him?
I've had issues in the past with Saban at the end of a first half, but I thought he made the right call yesterday.

Why permit Auburn to go in with momentum after dialing up another one of those, "Not Even Les Miles Is Dumb Enough" plays that when it works shocks even the idiots who call it?
 

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