Four years after separation, over a year after the divorce, I finally found some gal desperate enough to actually go out with me. Well, she's wasn't "that" desperate (which answers the question on everyone's mind).
A few weeks back, we were supposed to go to a bar together and see the Ravens-Steelers game. She apologized and cancelled about 18 hours before we were supposed to meet, in large part due to some stress related to her pets and her off and on battle with vertigo.
So yesterday on a wild hair, I texted (apparently this became an acceptable way to ask someone out in the last 25 years....it's how she asked me to the game so despite my old-fashioned face-to-face ways, I did it). Asked if she wanted to go to the Stars-Coyotes game. My lucky day as she'd never been to a hockey game (she's from Maryland and has never seen ice - looking right at you, Bamaro).
She got on the DART at a different train station due to a slight GPS mix-up but otherwise fine. We had row eight seats, so I at least look like moneybags. I explain what little I know about hockey (quite a bit the last two years actually).
I mean, I guess it went okay. The one thing that worried me is that crap has changed in the last 30 years. I'm old school - ask her out, dress up sort of, go to her place and pick her up.....and I've learned it doesn't work that way anymore (and I understand why but it's very disappointing). So we had the issue of her train stop was before mine. I come from the "never let a girl walk in the dark" school but I put the ball in her court as to the HOW. (If she had not accepted, I would have still gotten off the train with her, followed from a distance to ensure she got to her car, and then waited on the next train).
Instead, when I asked if she wanted an escort to the car, she said fine and she'd drive me back to MY car. (Now the psych folks basically tell me this means "she trusted you," which is her first mistake. Nevertheless, she drove me back to the car, I didn't impose myself on her in any way, and I told her to text me when she got home and I'd do the same.
I did, she did, and that was all.
We did text light banter today.
A female friend of mine said the ONLY "botched" date is when you're aggressively trying to get her to your place and she's aggressively resisting - everything else falls somewhere on a continuum. Generally speaking, my friends (guys and girls) thought I played it right, whatever happens.
It was one of the weirdest things in life it seemed. I told a friend that except for the fact I now have knowledge of sexual things that I didn't have at the time, it was a lot like being 14 years old again and terrified and not knowing for sure what the right thing to do was.
Anyway, I'm still a confused single guy, but I guess the first big step has been taken.
(On a side note - I don't want to go back into Alcatraz - my marriage - but I'm pretty steamed at my ex for putting me in my current shoes, too, I must confess).
I guess that's all. Fire away.
A few weeks back, we were supposed to go to a bar together and see the Ravens-Steelers game. She apologized and cancelled about 18 hours before we were supposed to meet, in large part due to some stress related to her pets and her off and on battle with vertigo.
So yesterday on a wild hair, I texted (apparently this became an acceptable way to ask someone out in the last 25 years....it's how she asked me to the game so despite my old-fashioned face-to-face ways, I did it). Asked if she wanted to go to the Stars-Coyotes game. My lucky day as she'd never been to a hockey game (she's from Maryland and has never seen ice - looking right at you, Bamaro).
She got on the DART at a different train station due to a slight GPS mix-up but otherwise fine. We had row eight seats, so I at least look like moneybags. I explain what little I know about hockey (quite a bit the last two years actually).
I mean, I guess it went okay. The one thing that worried me is that crap has changed in the last 30 years. I'm old school - ask her out, dress up sort of, go to her place and pick her up.....and I've learned it doesn't work that way anymore (and I understand why but it's very disappointing). So we had the issue of her train stop was before mine. I come from the "never let a girl walk in the dark" school but I put the ball in her court as to the HOW. (If she had not accepted, I would have still gotten off the train with her, followed from a distance to ensure she got to her car, and then waited on the next train).
Instead, when I asked if she wanted an escort to the car, she said fine and she'd drive me back to MY car. (Now the psych folks basically tell me this means "she trusted you," which is her first mistake. Nevertheless, she drove me back to the car, I didn't impose myself on her in any way, and I told her to text me when she got home and I'd do the same.
I did, she did, and that was all.
We did text light banter today.
A female friend of mine said the ONLY "botched" date is when you're aggressively trying to get her to your place and she's aggressively resisting - everything else falls somewhere on a continuum. Generally speaking, my friends (guys and girls) thought I played it right, whatever happens.
It was one of the weirdest things in life it seemed. I told a friend that except for the fact I now have knowledge of sexual things that I didn't have at the time, it was a lot like being 14 years old again and terrified and not knowing for sure what the right thing to do was.
Anyway, I'm still a confused single guy, but I guess the first big step has been taken.
(On a side note - I don't want to go back into Alcatraz - my marriage - but I'm pretty steamed at my ex for putting me in my current shoes, too, I must confess).
I guess that's all. Fire away.
