Washington State quarterback Tyler Hilinksi, 21, was found dead
- Thread starter JustNeedMe81
- Start date
Must have been getting a lot of flack about the loss to Michigan State. One of his last actions was to retweet Tua's tweet about Hurts.
Tyler Hilinski (@Tyler_Hlinski9) | Twitter
Tyler Hilinski (@Tyler_Hlinski9) | Twitter
That's what I was thinking. Either getting flack OR feeling personally responsible for that loss to MSU. This is so sad.
When a person makes the decision to do what he did, that's the very last DECISION that they will ever make.
The question: did anyone on staff or any teammates know just how depressed he was?
I'm sorry to hear that. Most of us, if not all, have lost someone in this way.
If you see someone who needs help, act.
If you need help, please ask for it.
If someone asks for help, please help them get it.
A coworkers' son took his own life last Monday. He was fifteen. There simply aren't words. All I can do is hug my little people and hope that I never have to say goodbye like she did.
Well put, and I echo these sentiments. It is a terrible thing when someone, especially someone so young, chooses such a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Unfortunately depression and anxiety is still grossly misunderstood. We know a lot more about it today than 30 years ago. But the average person hasn't a clue. I've fought with it since I was 21. Thank goodness I never reached a point of taking my life. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It can wear you out physically, mentally and emotionally if not gotten under control. I feel for this young's family who is now left to deal with the broken pieces.
It is awful when anyone buys into the lie that life isn't worth living. Don't know that young man's circumstances, but he obviously felt that he had to go to that extreme and horrendus act. It is such a travesty. 21 years old. Blows my mind. I have a friend that I check on often for this reason. Lives alone and feels alone. I ask his opinion often. Always fear I may get news of this nature about him, but these things are difficult to ascertain. I have had a couple of friends during my career who did make the wrong choices. There were circumstances involved that I knew nothing of. I could have and would have helped had I known. Books are written about why people do these things. We need to gauge one another every now and then. Life is good. We all need encouragement and fellowship in this life. And when someone takes his or her own life....we ALL lose.
Suicide is for the weak.
Suicides simply make me angry. I not going to victim-blame the young man, or speak ill about him, but how do you value life so little, that you throw it away so easily?
I really do apologize for being cold, heartless and angry. If people want to think less of me because of this opinion, then I'm can live with that. But suicide will ALWAYS make me angry. (unintentional hulk reference)
Sympathy and prayers goes to the family.
May Hilinksi find in death what eluded him in life......Peace.
Suicides simply make me angry. I not going to victim-blame the young man, or speak ill about him, but how do you value life so little, that you throw it away so easily?
I really do apologize for being cold, heartless and angry. If people want to think less of me because of this opinion, then I'm can live with that. But suicide will ALWAYS make me angry. (unintentional hulk reference)
Sympathy and prayers goes to the family.
May Hilinksi find in death what eluded him in life......Peace.
I don't think less of you, but depression is not what you think it is, and when suicide is driven by depression, it has nothing to do with weakness.
Your thoughts are driven by lack of understanding. Something that you really cannot fix unless you are personally affected by depression, because just reading about it doesn't help with understanding.
Mental illness comes with stigmas in our society (like the one expressed in your post) because people think that they are somehow less real than other illnesses or injuries. People think that they are a sign of some weakness within the person, rather than an illness. People judge the person.
Try and think of it differently. When you get cancer, everyone is supportive. When you suffer from a mental illness, no one even wants to talk about it. This makes the person's condition even worse, as they feel stigmatized and isolated by their illness. They can't tell friends and family for fear of this stigmatization. And those that they do tell often tell them that they should just "toughen up" or some such garbage.
Eventually people who suffer from depression start to feel real apathy. They stop caring about everything. This is not a decision to stop caring - it is something that just takes over. And apathy is the real threat. Imagine life without color - that is apathy. Nothing touches you. Nothing helps. And, to make it worse, your ability to reason is not impacted, so you see it happening to you and are powerless to stop it.
I don't think less of you but I can tell you that you have ZERO clue what depression and anxiety can do to the mind.
Also, the last thing a person with anxiety and depression is, is "weak".
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I'll just repost this here as apparently there are those who have never dealt with the hopelessness of the depressed, either directly or indirectly.
"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."
- David Foster Wallace
"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."
- David Foster Wallace
I'll add this from my personal experience. The "mind's eye" is very distorted when someone is struggling with A&D. If you've ever been to the fair as a kid there was a "hall of mirrors". You could go in and there were all kinds of mirrors that when you stood in front of, it made you look funny. It was how the mirror was shaped that made you look like that. But the reality of it was, you really didn't look like that. But as long as you looked into that mirror that is what you looked like.
Someone deep into A&D has a distorted "mirror" when looking at life. They make decisions based on what they see in their "mirror of life" and many times the reflection they see is so jacked up and overwhelming they make horrific decisions.
Someone deep into A&D has a distorted "mirror" when looking at life. They make decisions based on what they see in their "mirror of life" and many times the reflection they see is so jacked up and overwhelming they make horrific decisions.
My wife and I both deal with it. Hers is worse than mine and is more due to anxiety. No, neither of us have reached this point, but I can see how folks get there.
This young man wasn't weak.
This young man wasn't weak.
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