Washington State quarterback Tyler Hilinksi, 21, was found dead

runtheoption22 · Jan 19, 2018

I grew up a back-row Baptist and believed for many years that suicide meant that you were going to Hell. As I have grown in my faith, I definitely do NOT believe that at all now.

People who are rationale, God-fearing, life-loving people succumb to this disease. It totally distorts the mind. They see no way out. Crimsonaudio's description above is perfect. I would actually call mental illness such as this a demon...

Bazza · Jan 19, 2018

Question for the brain trust here.......

For those aged 21 and younger......is society tougher to exist in now than in previous generations?

If so, how much has social media factored into it?

TideEngineer08 · Jan 19, 2018

runtheoption22 said:
I grew up a back-row Baptist and believed for many years that suicide meant that you were going to Hell. As I have grown in my faith, I definitely do NOT believe that at all now.

People who are rationale, God-fearing, life-loving people succumb to this disease. It totally distorts the mind. They see no way out. Crimsonaudio's description above is perfect. I would actually call mental illness such as this a demon...

Thankfully the Baptist church I grew up in did not go this far with it. In fact, I can remember when a preacher we knew committed suicide, and the conversations about it as it pertained to Heaven/Hell were that suicide was to the brain as a heart attack was to the heart.

mikes12 · Jan 19, 2018

Bazza said:
Question for the brain trust here.......

For those aged 21 and younger......is society tougher to exist in now than in previous generations?

If so, how much has social media factored into it?

I’m not sure this question is possible to answer. Everyone brings only one set of experiences and perspectives. Good idea for Non-sports topic thread discussion, though.

Back to the main topic. I think it does a disservice to call it “depression”. Everyone gets depressed at times and often the lay pereon thinks “Heck, I get depressed sometimes, too, Buck up, buttercup.” It’s a painful tormenting alteration of brain chemistry, requiring professional intervention. You don’t ‘snap out’ of emphysema. You get treatment and manage it the best you can.

Mental illness is not a moral failure any more than astigmatism, yet it carries a stigma that leads many to not seek treatment.

Tidewater · Jan 19, 2018

Bazza said:
Question for the brain trust here.......

For those aged 21 and younger......is society tougher to exist in now than in previous generations?

These young men might have had some tough experiences at tender ages.

If so, how much has social media factored into it?

This is probably a good bit of it.
I recall reading about a young woman, student at Penn, who compared her life to her Facebook friends, felt she was inadequate, and jumped off the fourth-floor of a parking garage. Tragic.

Elefantman · Jan 19, 2018

Just saw this: http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/19/health/michael-phelps-depression/index.html

You would think after winning a couple of pounds worth of gold medals the last thing Michael Phelps would consider is suicide. This condition can strike anyone at any time.

Bamabuzzard · Jan 19, 2018

Elefantman said:
Just saw this: http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/19/health/michael-phelps-depression/index.html

You would think after winning a couple of pounds worth of gold medals the last thing Michael Phelps would consider is suicide. This condition can strike anyone at any time.

Depression/Anxiety has nothing to do with external things. It's a neurological issue that many are simply born with. Chemicals in the brain that produce the feelings of happiness, sadness, joy etc. are imbalanced. Nothing external impacts whether you "get depressed" or not or have an anxiety attack or not. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain.

I can't tell you how many times I was told "Just think positive and be happy" from people who had absolutely zero clue about the illness.

CajunCrimson · Jan 19, 2018

The "Z" Generation - those born from 1995 on -- have no memory of life before 9/11/2001. They live in a Dystopian novel. They live in a world where nothing feels safe, nothing feels secure, and the future seems dim. Look at TV, Movies, Books, Music, etc -- nothing for them is optimistic. And though the majority have learned to grow up in such a world -- I can completely see how kids can grow up feeling a sense of "what's the point?" --

Kids in High School and College these days can't see the future......and it's scary as Hell for them. They can't figure out how to pay for college without massive debt. They can't figure out how to afford to move out on their own. They can't figure out how to find someone to spend the rest of their life with them, that has similar beliefs, similar goals/dreams, etc.

Help your family/friends to find silver linings. To pursue goals/dreams..... and to let them know that setbacks are a part of growing up. I have to remind my kids constantly that roadblocks are a part of the deal. The key is to look past them -- and be patient. Talk to them - ask them questions - know what's going on in their lives.... Please don't leave them to fend off their demons all by themselves.

Bamabuzzard · Jan 19, 2018

CajunCrimson said:
The "Z" Generation - those born from 1995 on -- have no memory of life before 9/11/2001. They live in a Dystopian novel. They live in a world where nothing feels safe, nothing feels secure, and the future seems dim. Look at TV, Movies, Books, Music, etc -- nothing for them is optimistic. And though the majority have learned to grow up in such a world -- I can completely see how kids can grow up feeling a sense of "what's the point?" --

Kids in High School and College these days can't see the future......and it's scary as Hell for them. They can't figure out how to pay for college without massive debt. They can't figure out how to afford to move out on their own. They can't figure out how to find someone to spend the rest of their life with them, that has similar beliefs, similar goals/dreams, etc.

Help your family/friends to find silver linings. To pursue goals/dreams..... and to let them know that setbacks are a part of growing up. I have to remind my kids constantly that roadblocks are a part of the deal. The key is to look past them -- and be patient. Talk to them - ask them questions - know what's going on in their lives.... Please don't leave them to fend off their demons all by themselves.

With good intentions, a generation of parents went to great lengths to take any form of struggle out of their kids' lives, leaving them with zero coping skills and no ability to figure out problems on their own. The kid grows up to be an adult and as soon as things get tough they freak out and many times are rendered paralyzed as to what to do. All because they were never allowed to "struggle" with anything.

CajunCrimson · Jan 19, 2018

Bamabuzzard said:
With good intentions, a generation of parents went to great lengths to take any form of struggle out of their kids' lives, leaving them with zero coping skills and no ability to figure out problems on their own. The kid grows up to be an adult and as soon as things get tough they freak out and many times are rendered paralyzed as to what to do. All because they were never allowed to "struggle" with anything.

Yep....I agree. We pushed our kids to compete....because with competition there is failure. With failure there is learning. With learning - there is an understanding that things can be overcome with time, patience, and work. I would say that it's probably been 2 generations of parents.... as the late Boomers and the Xers both played a part in this....

TomFromBama · Jan 19, 2018

Bazza said:
Question for the brain trust here.......

For those aged 21 and younger......is society tougher to exist in now than in previous generations?

If so, how much has social media factored into it?

If you will forgive a response from someone who hasn't been under 21 since the Reagan Administration?

My kids are now grown, and just from my biased perspective I think it IS tougher now - tougher than it was for my kids, which was tougher than it was for me. Not physically tougher - its much easier physically. But IMO much tougher emotionally, and the "Double Whammy" is that many young people in America grow up deprived of the basic coping skills that previous generations had. In biased opinion, social media is a big part of it, but its also the technology in general that also plays a part.

My generation often suffered with the TV set as their "baby-sitter" (and thus as their de-facto "parent") - but the stuff on TV in the 1960's and '70's (which was mindless drivel for the most part) - seems like the works of Aristotle, Mozart and Shakespeare compared to the toxic swill being piped into our homes these days.
But that's not the half of it.

When parents give a child a computer, laptop, tablet or smartphone - they place in that child's hands the best, but also the very WORST our world has to offer. And guess which gets consumed? And when children retreat into the technology, they also lose (or never learn) interpersonal skills.

Add to that the social media aspect, which takes common childhood malice and bullying to unimagined proportions, and you have the recipe for what we are seeing in America - record levels of suicides among young people. "Sticks and Stones" - minor taunts or insults many of us dealt with as children and/or as teens - face to face, with maybe one or two other kids attacking you? Yea, try dealing with vastly more vicious attacks coming from dozens of known (or anonymous) belligerents (perhaps virtually everyone that young person knows), safely attacking from behind their keyboards.

I feel so bad for parents and kids today - and I just don't know the answer. If you completely separate a child from technology, that causes a whole other set of problems, and really, I don't know that its even possible for them to do school work without it.

What these young people desperately need (again, my biased opinion) is real-world - face to face communication with peers and ESPECIALLY with parents.

No insults to anyone intended by these remarks!!! Please know I'm not trying to judge anyone!!!

GrayTide · Jan 19, 2018

Bamabuzzard said:
With good intentions, a generation of parents went to great lengths to take any form of struggle out of their kids' lives, leaving them with zero coping skills and no ability to figure out problems on their own. The kid grows up to be an adult and as soon as things get tough they freak out and many times are rendered paralyzed as to what to do. All because they were never allowed to "struggle" with anything.

Buzz, you are talking about me, and unfortunately you are 100% correct.

tusks_n_raider · Jan 19, 2018

Bamabuzzard said:
Depression/Anxiety has nothing to do with external things. It's a neurological issue that many are simply born with. Chemicals in the brain that produce the feelings of happiness, sadness, joy etc. are imbalanced. Nothing external impacts whether you "get depressed" or not or have an anxiety attack or not. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain.

I can't tell you how many times I was told "Just think positive and be happy" from people who had absolutely zero clue about the illness.

I understand and agree with you saying that depression and anxiety attacks result from an internal chemical disorder but I strongly disagree that external factors have no impact at all.

I suffer from Depression, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, OCD, and ADHD and external factors can and will exacerbate all those problems and especially if un-medicated. I tried to get off anti-depressants around two years go. My OCD came back with a vengeance but I was somewhat able to keep my anxiety under control with the help of just a Benzo RX....I still had anxiety but not full blown Panic Attacks....

Then my Mom died and my Dad had a nervous/mental/psychotic breakdown because of it... all of which STRONGLY affected my ability to control my anxiety and I started having Panic Attacks again left and right no matter the RX Benzo dose......multiple attacks over the course of any given week. Anything that made life harder on me or anything that even made life uncomfortable would trigger a meltdown attack.

I had to get back on Anti-Depressants again and continually up the dosage until those outside factors didn't outweigh the medicines ability to keep the Panic Attacks at bay.

So from my personal experience the problem is two-fold... It IS an internal chemical/brain/psyche/body disorder....but it also CAN VERY much be made worse by what EXTERNAL things are affecting you in daily life.

Plus I have to add it's not that I don't have coping skills either. I dealt with my problems for much of life completely without meds and had a somewhat normal life and still went to college and obtained a degree and had a corporate level accounting position for a major shipping company.

But.... as said above both my parents became ill and I had to become a full time caretaker. I've been doing my best at it for 6+ years now but I have no help at all from anyone....eventually the whole situation completely broke me back down to the point of getting back on the meds.

So anyway yes all these disorders are internal illnesses but I just want to be clear that it's NOT TRUE that external factors can't trigger them and/or make them MUCH worse and MORE debilitating.

crimsonaudio · Jan 19, 2018

GrayTide said:
Buzz, you are talking about me, and unfortunately you are 100% correct.

You've shared a lot of your struggles on NS, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we appreciate it. We can learn from it. Thank you.

GrayTide · Jan 19, 2018

crimsonaudio said:
You've shared a lot of your struggles on NS, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we appreciate it. We can learn from it. Thank you.

It is not easy being a parent as we all know. I think there is a lot of truth in what Buzz said about taking the easy way out and making sure your children do not have to face coping with disappointment and failure. At the time it seemed like what we should do but looking back it was a huge mistake. Fortunately our children, while still very much dependent on us, have never gotten into any kind of trouble, yet still feel any misfortune that comes their way is not of their making. I realize the lessons I learned from my father made me what I am today and I wish I had had the same resolve and wisdom he possessed. Thanks for the kind words, Brad.

ROTYDE · Jan 19, 2018

So so sad. Praying for his family.

teamplayer · Jan 20, 2018

Prayers to comfort his family.

bamanut_aj · Jan 20, 2018

CrimsonTheory said:
Suicide is for the weak.

Suicides simply make me angry. I not going to victim-blame the young man, or speak ill about him, but how do you value life so little, that you throw it away so easily?

I really do apologize for being cold, heartless and angry. If people want to think less of me because of this opinion, then I'm can live with that. But suicide will ALWAYS make me angry. (unintentional hulk reference)

Sympathy and prayers goes to the family.

May Hilinksi find in death what eluded him in life......Peace.

I almost wish you’d go through it so you’d change your cave man view of depression.

But in reality, it’s best you don’t. Just hope that no one ever comes to you for help. “Just cheer up”, “just quit being a baby”, “suck it up”, “quit acting like a chick”, etc are not acceptable responses, are most certainly what you’d consider sage advice.

I do hope you grow up one day

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Bamabuzzard · Jan 20, 2018

I will never discredit someone else's experience with A&D. Everyone's experiences have similarities but not everyone's is the exact same. My point was external events doesn't cause a chemical imbalance. I agree that external events can trigger someone who has a chemical imbalance. But the root of the problem is the imbalance, not external things. I remember sitting in a college dorm playing Playstation with my friends with no care in the world, having a blast, and anxiety attack hit me. Craziest thing in the world.

tusks_n_raider said:
I understand and agree with you saying that depression and anxiety attacks result from an internal chemical disorder but I strongly disagree that external factors have no impact at all.

I suffer from Depression, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, OCD, and ADHD and external factors can and will exacerbate all those problems and especially if un-medicated. I tried to get off anti-depressants around two years go. My OCD came back with a vengeance but I was somewhat able to keep my anxiety under control with the help of just a Benzo RX....I still had anxiety but not full blown Panic Attacks....

Then my Mom died and my Dad had a nervous/mental/psychotic breakdown because of it... all of which STRONGLY affected my ability to control my anxiety and I started having Panic Attacks again left and right no matter the RX Benzo dose......multiple attacks over the course of any given week. Anything that made life harder on me or anything that even made life uncomfortable would trigger a meltdown attack.

I had to get back on Anti-Depressants again and continually up the dosage until those outside factors didn't outweigh the medicines ability to keep the Panic Attacks at bay.

So from my personal experience the problem is two-fold... It IS an internal chemical/brain/psyche/body disorder....but it also CAN VERY much be made worse by what EXTERNAL things are affecting you in daily life.

Plus I have to add it's not that I don't have coping skills either. I dealt with my problems for much of life completely without meds and had a somewhat normal life and still went to college and obtained a degree and had a corporate level accounting position for a major shipping company.

But.... as said above both my parents became ill and I had to become a full time caretaker. I've been doing my best at it for 6+ years now but I have no help at all from anyone....eventually the whole situation completely broke me back down to the point of getting back on the meds.

So anyway yes all these disorders are internal illnesses but I just want to be clear that it's NOT TRUE that external factors can't trigger them and/or make them MUCH worse and MORE debilitating.

AUDub · Jun 26, 2018

link

After reviewing the tissue we can confirm that he had the pathology of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE)”

He appeared in 11 college football games, total. That is frightening.

Washington State quarterback Tyler Hilinksi, 21, was found dead

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