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News Article: My Opinion: Most Men Aren’t Husband Material

selmaborntidefan

selmaborntidefan

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Its On A Slab said:
You probably know this drill, too. My ex gave two craps about investing, saving for retirement. Spent like a drunken sailor, and, when she would get a decent-paying job, would quit after 2-3 months because she had to actually be held accountable for something.

But she sure as heck was interested in my 401k, IRA, and even my pension when it came time to divvy up the assets. If she had contributed her fair share to the retirement, I wouldn't have despised this so much. I was putting 20-25% of my salary into retirement, but she put in virtually nothing.

Luckily, I was able to negotiate a cash settlement in lieu of her touching my pension. And I've been trying to put hand-over-fist $$$ into my retirement since the divorce, and i think I've recovered much of what I lost 4 years ago.

And it really chapped her behind when she learned she had zilch rights to my inheritance from my Dad. And I also have a 2nd pension (small) from a company I worked for a few decades ago.....that I just didn't mention during the divorce.
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My ex was fond of lying by omission. So here's how I got her, trying to drive home the point as things were winding down.

Believe it or not, they thought back in high school I was going to be a prosecutor. After dealing with her habits a little bit, I learned the old lawyer's trick of closing off the escape routes before asking her a question. Most of the time - so far as I knew - she wouldn't lie DIRECTLY, it was by hiding information that was important. One of her favorite things to do was not pay her taxes, us file jointly, and then I wound up paying them. I got sick of this so I refused to file until I got a list from the IRS of what different contractors had paid her how much (3 different times I have to file amended returns because of this bozo).

So we didn't file for 11 and 12. Then I went and filled the stuff out while we were separated. This snit owed $5,000 in back taxes. Okay, WE owed it since we were married, but the breakdown was about $4200 her and about $800 me (I worked a lot extra or something). So I agreed to pay 11 and her 12 since that was about 1/2 each. But when I showed up for her to sign it she REFUSED to provide the bank info so the IRS could take a monthly amount. (You know what she was up to and so do I). So about six months later, I took MY stuff in to a different place and filed married but separate and then claimed all the deductions for myself. I got about $1800 back. Awhile later she asked about it, and I told her I'd filed. She then pouted and whined about how I had screwed her over. I looked at her with innocent puppy dog eyes and said, "Hmm. Does this BOTHER you? Do you feel like this is LYING to you? Well, now you know how I felt."

She never got it. To this day she insists (a la Trump) she never lied to me about anything.

As I said, the absolute rage is over the time that's gone. The other stuff doesn't really matter - except she's one of these playing my son against me, which is pathetic.

Earle and I have talked offline and he's given great advice on the whole thing. As a HS friend of mine who now lives in Alabaster and who is on her second marriage said, "The problem now is that anyone in your peer group is bruised like you are and has a story, too."

I'm kind of past the point of caring. I've met too many drama queen nutbags, and my testosterone level ain't what it once was so, who cares? I chuckle at Lewis Grizzard's commentary on his third marriage, when he said that women in their 40s who have been divorced twice don't NEED a man, they WANT a man to use for their revenge against the two dirtbags who left them previously and married the SEC cheerleader.

Great story, though, bud.
 
uafan4life

uafan4life

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CaliforniaTide said:
...But if certain breakdowns (particularly the same ones) keep occurring in relationships, then at some point you have to be willing to look at yourself and see what you're doing wrong...
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I can't tell you how many times I've tried to explain to people who want to constantly blame anyone but themselves for their recurring issues that "at some point, you become the only common denominator."

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
 
Its On A Slab

Its On A Slab

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TIDE-HSV said:
It's what I do for a living - shepherding people through the process...
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I have a brother who retired 18 mos ago. Retired Ear Nose and Throat specialist. He was used to working 12-16 hours a day. Now, all he does all day is play with his bees and now he's a gamer. All the time in the world on his hands. Guess who is the hardest to keep on point to sign papers? I may have to fly to Portland just to hold his feet to the fire. Annoying because I don't need this 2nd job. lol
 
TIDE-HSV

TIDE-HSV

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Its On A Slab said:
I have a brother who retired 18 mos ago. Retired Ear Nose and Throat specialist. He was used to working 12-16 hours a day. Now, all he does all day is play with his bees and now he's a gamer. All the time in the world on his hands. Guess who is the hardest to keep on point to sign papers? I may have to fly to Portland just to hold his feet to the fire. Annoying because I don't need this 2nd job. lol
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The worst thing about my ex's is the fact that, against my advice, she placed a number of small trusts in her will for grandchildren (she was a non-practicing lawyer). Each trust has at least one account. The paperwork is drowning. Her will seems to presume that I will live forever, or until these kids reach 50, which is ridiculous...
 
Bazza

Bazza

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He slept with a married woman. Now a judge says, pay the jilted husband $8.8 million

July 26, 2018 06:53 PM

Durham
A Durham County judge awarded the owner of a BMX bike stunt show company more than $8.8 million from the man he said seduced his wife and ruined his marriage.

Superior Court Judge Orlando Hudson awarded Keith King more than $2.2 million in compensatory damages and three times that in punitive damages from Francisco Huizar III of San Antonio, Texas.

Huizar’s attorney said they will appeal.
In the civil complaint filed in April 2017, King accused Huizar of criminal conversation, alienation of affection, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligent infliction of emotional distress and assault and battery.
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Danielle King sitting in a Durham County courtroom on Thursday, July 26, 2018, during a civil trial in which a person she had a relationship with while she was married, Francisco Huizar, was ordered to pay more than $8.8 million.

Huizar’s attorney, Cheri Patrick, said Huizar was not responsible for a marriage that was damaged before her client met Danielle King.

Keith King, who is 15 years older than his wife, controlled her access to money, manipulated her low self-esteem, brought porn into the relationship, looked through her phone every other week, put her to work without pay, and continued to schedule shows after she said it was too much work and she needed help with her daughter, Patrick said. He tracked her movements and insisted she keep her hair blond, and wear bikinis and high heels, Patrick said.
“This marriage needed one more blow before it was over,” Patrick said.
In testimony, Danielle King said she pursued Huizar and that the marriage had been unhappy from the first year.
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​
With Huizar’s help, Danielle King rented an apartment in January 2017, and Huizar was on the lease.

Danielle King told her husband that her parents had helped with the apartment, Foil said.
Danielle King didn’t tell her husband her apartment number, but did share the name of the complex and the building number, Foil said.
When Danielle King told her husband that she was having a breaker issue at the apartment on Jan. 20, 2017, he went to her apartment, knocked on the door, and Huizar answered, Foil said.
At that point Keith King realized that his wife had continued to have an affair over the past 16 months, his attorney said. Patrick said he knew of the affair months before.
Foil claimed King and Huizar were setting Keith King up, waiting to record the scene with their cellphones to support domestic violence allegations. When Keith King reacted to finding Huizar there, Huizar put him in a choke hold, court documents indicate.
In court documents, Huizar’s attorney contends that Keith King showed up uninvited, refused to leave “and loomed over Danielle King, causing her to cower in fear.”
Huizar removed him from the apartment to “prevent great bodily harm,” to Danielle King, court documents state.
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​
Interesting comments at the bottom of the article.....
 
TIDE-HSV

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Bazza said:

He slept with a married woman. Now a judge says, pay the jilted husband $8.8 million

July 26, 2018 06:53 PM

Durham



Danielle King sitting in a Durham County courtroom on Thursday, July 26, 2018, during a civil trial in which a person she had a relationship with while she was married, Francisco Huizar, was ordered to pay more than $8.8 million.


​

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Interesting comments at the bottom of the article.....
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Wow! I thought alienation of affections was a dead letter. Guess not...
 
B

Bodhisattva

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Bamabuzzard said:
Whether society likes to admit it or not, in general, most women operate from an emotional standpoint. My wife tends to disagree with me on this and that's fine (if she wants to be wrong ;)). But I tell her all the time, there's a reason the same group of men can hang out and be friends for years and more times than not a group of women cannot. The PC police can now bring out their bag of stones. LOL!
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It is extremely trying working in an office with a bunch of women. When they are together they chatter about incredibly inane or inappropriate topics (that would send a man quickly to HR for a write up). Then when they are not together they bad mouth each other like scorned fifth graders. Sigh.
 
mikes12

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At 43 and never married, I’m glad I’ve managed to stay out of it. In today’s world/culture, it doesn’t seem worth the risk. There doesn’t seem to be any benefit (for men) when you look at the statistics of divorces, and how devastating the family courts can be.

Proverbs 21:19
 
R

RedWave

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Bazza said:

He slept with a married woman. Now a judge says, pay the jilted husband $8.8 million

July 26, 2018 06:53 PM

Durham



Danielle King sitting in a Durham County courtroom on Thursday, July 26, 2018, during a civil trial in which a person she had a relationship with while she was married, Francisco Huizar, was ordered to pay more than $8.8 million.


​

​
Interesting comments at the bottom of the article.....
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8 million dollars? For sex with a woman? Umm, not that I condone such a thing, but I am pretty sure a prime escort would be considerably cheaper.
 
Bazza

Bazza

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I 100% endorse these qualities..........and also feel it goes both ways. In theory, she should want these same qualities in her man.

Yes....there are women like this - they do exist.

You just have to know what to look for and refuse to lower your standards.

 
Bamabuzzard

Bamabuzzard

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Bazza said:
I 100% endorse these qualities..........and also feel it goes both ways. In theory, she should want these same qualities in her man.

Yes....there are women like this - they do exist.

You just have to know what to look for and refuse to lower your standards.

Click to expand...
Bazza, if you find a woman who exhibits all 11 of these signs ask can you pet her unicorn that she's riding. LOL!
 
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