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  1. #40
    BamaNation All-American crimson fan man's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    The other day my wife was complaining about the size of her breast saying they were not big enough for the style of clothes made today. I told her if she wanted bigger breast gets some toilet paper and rub it between them.She ask me what does it do and my remark was I don't know but it did wonders for your butt.

  2. #41
    BamaNation Hall of Fame seebell's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    Quote Originally Posted by crimson fan man View Post
    The other day my wife was complaining about the size of her breast saying they were not big enough for the style of clothes made today. I told her if she wanted bigger breast gets some toilet paper and rub it between them.She ask me what does it do and my remark was I don't know but it did wonders for your butt.
    You out of the hospital yet!!

  3. #42
    BamaNation All-American TrueCrimson7's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    I was eating at a Japanese hibachi-style restaurant last evening when three very large women came in, sat beside me, and began talking among themselves. Having spent a summer in Europe after college, I believed I recognized their accents. "Excuse me," I whispered to the one sitting closest to me, "Are you three ladies from Scotland?". "It's Wales," she said rather curtly. Having been rebuked for my mistake and not wanting to disrupt this rather unpleasant woman again, I asked more loudly so that the others could hear, "Excuse me, but are you three whales from Scotland?". That's the last thing I remember.

  4. #43
    BamaNation Hall of Fame GrayTide's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread



    Bazza's back door.
    "My momma always said you got to put the past behind you before you can move on." Forrest Gump

    "The past is never dead. It's not even past." William Faulkner

  5. #44
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Bazza's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    What do you get when a cement truck runs into the police jail?





    .......HARDENED CRIMINALS......


  6. #45
    BamaNation Hall of Fame GrayTide's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    Too bad we don't have a symbol for giving someone a raspberry.
    "My momma always said you got to put the past behind you before you can move on." Forrest Gump

    "The past is never dead. It's not even past." William Faulkner

  7. #46
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Bazza's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GrayTide View Post
    Too bad we don't have a symbol for giving someone a raspberry.

  8. #47
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Bazza's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    RED SKELTON 'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

    1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
    little beverage, good food and companionship.
    She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds.
    Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

    3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So I suggested the kitchen.

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
    She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
    to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
    I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

    8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
    for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right . I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
    I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though.
    My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
    I said, "Dust!".

  9. #48
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Bazza's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread


  10. #49
    BamaNation Hall of Fame seebell's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread


  11. #50
    BamaNation Hall of Fame GrayTide's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    "My momma always said you got to put the past behind you before you can move on." Forrest Gump

    "The past is never dead. It's not even past." William Faulkner

  12. #51
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Bazza's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread


  13. #52
    BamaNation Hall of Fame seebell's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread


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