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Thread: Joke thread

  1. #53
    BamaNation Hall of Fame GrayTide's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    deleted
    "My momma always said you got to put the past behind you before you can move on." Forrest Gump

    "The past is never dead. It's not even past." William Faulkner

  2. #54
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Bazza's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread


  3. #55
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    Re: Joke thread


  4. #56
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    Re: Joke thread


  5. #57
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    Re: Joke thread

    Here ya go Go Bama.....

    "Old dog - new tricks"

  6. #58
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    Re: Joke thread

    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not yelling and screaming like his passengers.

  7. #59
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    Re: Joke thread

    "Old dog - new tricks"

  8. #60

    Re: Joke thread

    The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find two grim-faced Constables.


    "We're sorry, Mr. O' Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said one of the officers.

    "Tell me!? Did you find her?" Michael Patrick O'Flynn asked.

    The constables looked at each other and one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news.? Which would you like to hear first?"

    Fearing the worst, Mr. O' Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."

    The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay."

    "Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed O' Flynn.? Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

    The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her.? Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

    Stunned, Mr. O' Flynn demanded, "Glory be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?"

    The constable replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
    Oderint dum metuant - Lucius Accius

  9. #61
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Go Bama's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    The pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning to go play golf.

    He told his secretary he wasn’t feeling well then drove to a golf course in another city so nobody would know him.

    The pastor teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards, and dropped the ball right in the hole for a hole in one.

    An an angel looked at God and asked,”What’d you do that for?”

    God smiled and said, “Who’s he going to tell?”

  10. #62
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    Re: Joke thread


  11. #63
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    Re: Joke thread

    A woman hears a knock at the door and it's her husband's supervisor from the brewery where he works.

    "I'm sorry to inform you ma'am, but there's been an accident at the brewery. Your husband fell into one of the beer vats and drowned." says the supervisor.

    "Oh my God" says the woman "That's terrible! At least I can seek comfort in knowing that he died a quick death."

    "I don't know about that ma'm" says the supervisor, "He got out three times to go to the bathroom."
    __________________
    "Old dog - new tricks"

  12. #64
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Go Bama's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBamaBeno View Post
    What am I missing here that’s funny? Is it just that Gus is a joke of a coach? Something to do with the ref’s fist? I’m lost.

  13. #65
    BamaNation Hall of Fame Bazza's Avatar
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    Re: Joke thread

    "Old dog - new tricks"

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