I think we know CNS well enough after all these years to know he certainly wouldn’t stand up in a post game press conference and make some rather pointed comments if this is solely a situation of young man trying to cope with a seriously ill grandmother and the difficulties surrounding it. If that were the only factor, CNS would have used something along the lines of saying “dealing with family and personal issues” and not saying he’s “disappeared somewhat”. CNS is very deliberate in what he says and why he says it. He’s not given to flippant comments.
That isn’t to say we shouldn’t have empathy for the young man. It is one of those situations most of all us face at some point in our lives...the illness of a someone we desperately love. How we learn to deal with those things is part of the maturing process when we are younger. However even in those circumstances we still must address our responsibilities and manage them accordingly. And yes, at 18 years of age it can be overwhelming.
If I had to hazard a guess, my thought is there must be issues that arose prior to, during, or subsequent to this family crisis that Alfano hasn’t handled correctly. My thought is that CNS was saying to him “when you face adversity are you going to do the right things or are you going to make the situation worse by making bad choices?” I get the sense in reading the father’s tweet they are hoping he chooses to stay and work through things.
I certainly don’t think CNS would have phrased things the way he did without good reason.
While none of us knows the exact facts, I think you're probably pretty dead on, CB.
Alfano didn't get with the program, and when confronted, didn't get with the process to clear up the initial mistake(s). Basically, he ran from the problem. Not the way to handle it, but you do have to take into account the fact that he's 18, and who among us didn't do some stupid stuff when we were 18, and then try to cover it up / deny it existed / lie about whether we did it or not, etc.?
Only when we were hopelessly busted did we acknowledge the error of our ways (deep down, we knew the actions were wrong when we did them). The next step was to (1) make amends to the authority -- parents, school, coach, girlfriend, girlfriend's parents (!!!), whatever, or (2) slink away and start again elsewhere. It's so painful that most of us don't do that again, though a few of us are hardheaded, keep repeating the same basic mistake, and keep running from it....sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally, sometimes both.
Whether Alfano learns or is hard-headed is up to him. It would appear that his father wants him to do what he has to do to make it right in Tuscaloosa. But daddy can't do it for him -- Antonio has to acknowledge his mistakes, truly regret them, and be willing to humble himself by earning his way back from his current position....which is standing on tiptoe, up to his nose in the cesspool, below the dog house outside the jail. That won't be easy, and it'll take a while.
I love a redemption story, and hope beyond hope that he does just that. But he'll have to do something he's thus far shown no inclination to do. We'll see real soon. Whether he stays in Tuscaloosa or not, there's no realistic chance he'll contribute to the football team on the field this season. He has a lot more important stuff to sort out.
