What's the worst thing you've ever cooked?

Bama Torch in Pcola

Hall of Fame
Dec 18, 2002
5,675
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And what did you do wrong?

The highest profile screw up for me was the first time I tried to fry a turkey on Thanksgiving. I cooked it way too hot for way too long. Along the way I managed to start a grease fire on the stove, which I tried to put out by applying water. Ah, youth. At least there was plenty of ham to go around.
 

Tide Tales

All-SEC
Sep 26, 2006
1,271
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I have never successfully cooked anything on a charcoal grill!:eek:
Which is why I now have an electric one -no failures-yet! :)
 

TideBeliever

1st Team
Mar 26, 2003
533
0
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Huntsville, AL USA
A duck hunting friend asked me if I had ever tried cooking Coot. I had cooked various duck species with success so I said no, but it shouldn't be a problem.

I tried...I failed...and the smell still haunts me.:eek2:
 

bayoutider

Administrator Emeritus & Chef-in-Chief
Oct 13, 1999
29,712
27
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Tidefans.com
A duck hunting friend asked me if I had ever tried cooking Coot. I had cooked various duck species with success so I said no, but it shouldn't be a problem.

I tried...I failed...and the smell still haunts me.:eek2:
Another name for Coot is Mud Hen and they taste accordingly. ;) Coot is not a true duck but an aquatic bird. If you ever have the need for a recipe here is one.

Boot Coot

Ingredients:
5 coot breasts (no feathers or skin)
1 large purple onion
1 bunch carrots (julienne cut)
2 cups campfire coffee (for broth)
Salt and pepper to taste
1 old hunting boot

Directions:
Cut up carrots and onion, mix in campfire coffee for broth. Dump into hunting boot, add salt and pepper and coot breasts. Lace up boot and ingredients tight. Throw onto roaring campfire. Go hunting for 2 hours while boot coots are cooking. Come back from hunting famished. Remove charred boot from campfire. Remove all cooked ingredients and discard them. Slice up boot and enjoy!
 

Jack Bourbon

Hall of Fame
Aug 3, 2001
6,435
484
207
Miami FL
I loaded up my spaghetti sauce with cilantro thinking it was italian parsley (I was *hic* drunk at the time). My kitchen smelled like it for six months and I couldn't get near cilantro for about a year and a half after that. A little cilantro (like oregano) goes a long way.

I can't tell you how nasty that sauce was.
 

bayoutider

Administrator Emeritus & Chef-in-Chief
Oct 13, 1999
29,712
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I loaded up my spaghetti sauce with cilantro thinking it was italian parsley (I was *hic* drunk at the time). My kitchen smelled like it for six months and I couldn't get near cilantro for about a year and a half after that. A little cilantro (like oregano) goes a long way.

I can't tell you how nasty that sauce was.
I took leftover spaghetti sauce from the freezer thinking it was leftover chili and added some beans. That was the nastiest almost chili I ever made.
 

LCN

FB | REC Moderator
Sep 29, 2005
14,243
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67
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Tried to make a cake extra moist and it collapsed into a variety of French toast .:redface:
 
I

It's On A Slab

Guest
Me: I marinated a steak in undiluted Jack Daniels. Don't ever try that.

My Mom's worst: She cooked up homemade ice cream in custard that contained completely soured milk. Mom doesn't have the greatest taste buds nor sense of smell. Then, she offered a bowl to the neighbors.....who had to act like they liked it.

My Mom's 2nd worst: She went to pour up a big mug of last night's eggnog for my Dad. Instead, she reached for yesterday morning's pancake batter. You can imagine my Dad's face when he took his first sip.
 

BamaLuver

G&C | FB Moderator
Aug 16, 2000
5,793
295
252
Mobile, AL
My very first Thanksgiving turkey many years ago. As a new wife, how was I supposed to know I had to reach my hand in the turkeys butt and take everything out before I cooked it? :eek:
 

CornBiscuit

Suspended
Oct 2, 2005
4,386
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38
Mobile, AL
We caught some Yellowfin Tuna once and grilled them that night. Had the perfect setup, until I passed up from drinking all day and cooked my Tuna for like 20 minutes.

Well, well done Tuna = well, well done toilet. ;)
 

bamajas

1st Team
Oct 5, 2005
908
127
62
Jasper, AL
I thought I had heard of a recipe where you marinate your protein (chicken or pork) in sour cream, then batter it and fry it. Apparently, you need to add another fat (like an eggwash) before battering.

When I placed the sour creamed and battered chicken into the frying pan, all of the batter slid right off, leaving a bunch of charred cracker crumbs and pan-fried (but not battered) chicken. Rather gross...
 

bayoutider

Administrator Emeritus & Chef-in-Chief
Oct 13, 1999
29,712
27
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Tidefans.com
I thought I had heard of a recipe where you marinate your protein (chicken or pork) in sour cream, then batter it and fry it. Apparently, you need to add another fat (like an eggwash) before battering.

When I placed the sour creamed and battered chicken into the frying pan, all of the batter slid right off, leaving a bunch of charred cracker crumbs and pan-fried (but not battered) chicken. Rather gross...
This is a most interesting post. I hope I don't come across as Dear Abbey but here goes.

Correction:

An egg wash, egg + water, is not another fat unless it is made with milk + egg whisked together. It is another protein.

Possible problems:

1. didn't dry the chicken before dipping in sour cream then cracker crumbs.
2. sour cream wasn't thinned enough (should have been no thicker than buttermilk)
3. oil was too hot / sour cream too cold
4. recipe was for oven baked chicken not deep fried.
5. cook too drunk ;)
6. misread recipe

Conclusion:

Most likely the sour cream was part of a marinade and not the batter and should have been discarded and the chicken patted dry before dipping in something then rolling in cracker meal. (crushed cornflakes and instant potato flakes are another good trick)

The use of sour cream interests me but after a quick search I found no fried chicken recipes using sour cream but see no reason it couldn't be used as a substitute for buttermilk if it is thinned to that consistency. I have often used yogurt as a meat tenderizer and it has about the same consistency as sour cream. I called a chef friend and he was puzzled as well but said it was an interesting idea but said he would thin the sour cream or creme fraiche to a workable consistency and maybe mix some Parmesan cheese in with the cracker meal.
 

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