Auburn jokes

BamaHoosier

All-American
Jan 17, 2011
3,614
620
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Noblesville Indiana
Hey everybody, I just found this site, and I already love it. Now I'm just wondering what's your best Auburn jokes. Forgive me if there is already a thread similar to this, but I've looked through some of the other threads and didn't see one.
Thanks and Roll Tide:BigA:
 

Black Warrior

Suspended
Mar 30, 2010
2,236
2
0
Other than the "TEETH Brush" joke, the only Auburn joke I can remember is Kevin Scarbinsky.......:biggrin:
 

Bleed Crimson

BamaNation Citizen
Jan 18, 2011
46
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0
I was told that biggest concern that Scam Newton had about going pro was how much of a pay cut he would have to take,,,,,,,, OK, is was funny a few days ago.
 

N AL Tider

1st Team
Jun 18, 2007
458
20
37
Sweet Home AL
Auburn fan tells a Bama fan "Sorry we won the national title and you didn't." Bama fan says "Dude, thats like braggin about having sex with a girl I already banged 13 times!"

Hope I didn't cross the line with that one.
 

bama2112

All-American
Nov 19, 2006
2,037
299
107
Cobb County, Ga.
Auburn fan tells a Bama fan "Sorry we won the national title and you didn't." Bama fan says "Dude, thats like braggin about having sex with a girl I already banged 13 times!"

Hope I didn't cross the line with that one.
I dont care who you are that is FUNNY. I need a shirt.
 

Ironhead Bret

1st Team
Mar 10, 2007
409
0
0
A teacher is having a lesson on careers. She asks the students to share some details about their parent's careers in class. The first student says "My dad's an airline pilot and he flies for FedEx to deliver packages all across the world." The second student says "My mom is a nurse at the hospital and she takes care of sick people." The third student says "My dad is a stripper at the gay male strip club downtown." Taken back the teacher quickly moves on to the next student. After class the teacher calls the third student up to her desk. She asks, "Is you father really a stripper?" The student replies, "No ma'am, I just didn't want any of my friends to know he is a coach at Auburn."
 

BamaHoosier

All-American
Jan 17, 2011
3,614
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Noblesville Indiana
Here's a few that I've heard, stop me if you've heard these already.

What do you have if you've got 32 Auburn sorority girls in a group? A full set of teeth.

What's the difference between an AU grad and a catfish? One's a scum-sucking scavenger the others a fish.

Why couldn't the Auburn student get a job as an elevator operator? He coudn't remember the route.

What was the Auburn students reaction when he heard that there was going to be a Taco Bell built on campus? "Why do we need another phone company?"

What does an Auburn student consider a seven course meal? A possum and a 6-pack.

What is considered fast food in Auburn? road kill.

What's the best sign in Auburn? Tuscaloosa, 120 miles.

Anyways, those are just the ones that come to mind, hopefully I didn't bore you guys to bad. Roll Tide
 

IH8Orange

Hall of Fame
Aug 14, 2000
7,017
31
0
Trussville, AL, USA
A group of Electrical Engineering students from Alabama and Auburn started their first day in a co-op job with Alabama Power. They spend the entire day filling out paperwork and going to orientation sessions and then at the end of the day, their boss tells them to wear clothes that they don't mind getting dirty the next day.

The next morning, the co-op students met up with their boss. He decided that the rivalry might be a good motivational tool, so he organized them into two teams, one of the Alabama students and one of the Auburn students. He then told them, "Each team has 20 power poles and I'm eager to see which team, the Tide or the Tigers, can put them in the ground the fastest. The Tide team will work highway 26 west of the new substation and the Tiger team will work east of the new substation. Are there any questions?"

No-one said a word.

"Good. Now go and let's see who is the best."

At about 4:30 that afternoon the Tide crew came in, sweating and tired. "Looks like you guys did it," said the boss. Several hours passed and the boss told the Tide crew to go home and he'd see them the next morning.

The next morning, the Tide crew arrives and the Tiger crew still hasn't gotten back so the boss loaded up everyone and they went to find the Tiger crew. They found them about a half-mile east of the substation with only 4 poles left on their truck, but there were no poles to be seen along the road. The boss jumped off the truck and approached them. "Where's the other poles? What have you guys been doing? The Tide crew finished yesterday and you guys are still not finished?""

One of the Auburn crew puffed his chest and said. "Of course they finished yesterday. We saw their shoddy work. They left more than half of each pole sticking out of the ground." :D
 
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