Well, here we are again. The jabbering jaws of jock sniffing will combine with the nattering nabobs of nonsense to exaggerate, hype, and promote interest in this year's Iron Bowl, a game that will likely be over by halftime or early in the third quarter with Alabama then having to worry about Auburn inflicting intentional injuries to derail the title run.
Every year we go through this.
Every year people who say this need flogged with a tube sock full of screws.
Every year, a couple of pretentious prognosticators promote the insane idea of Auburn equality with Alabama, and nobody calls them out with the the eight letter single-word reply that starts with the noun "Bull." Because these are people who think Brent Musberger was a good announcer, think Led Zeppelin are more creative than Boston, and think the only thing this country is missing is the fact there are not enough BICYCLE paths to encourage exercise, weight loss, and green energy.
But I digress.
I'll add more to the list, but you're going to hear these because some sportswriter who couldn't make his high school volleyball team needs and easy column so he can go play the ponies, and his annual "who should I vote for the baseball Hall of Fame" column is next month's easy day.
1) Throw out the records when Alabama plays Auburn.
In a word, baloney. Mild upsets are rare enough, and colossal upsets never happen either. The only REAL MAJOR upset since the 1948 renewal was in 1984, and that owed more to Pat Dye outsmarting himself (admittedly a very small feat) than anything Ray Perkins or Alabama did. I'll ADMIT that on occasion overmatched teams (2004 Alabama, 2009 Auburn) seem to play better and make the outcome a little more difficult to achieve, but even these are flukes. In 2009, Auburn had an extra week to prepare while Alabama not only had a game, they had a SHORT WEEK for a road game in the SEC. Auburn's entire ability to throw a scare into the Tide had more to do with external issues than any on the field talent.
There are a few games that myopic and biased fans want me to believe are amazing upsets: 1972, 1982, 2002, 2013. NONE of these are major upsets. A few might be minor ones, but lets' face it: a one-loss team beating an unbeaten team in a winner-take-all game at the home stadium (2013) is simply NOT a "major upset" no matter how many fans wish to say it is. Now a ONE-WIN team beating #1? Sure, but it's never happened in the Iron Bowl.
2) Coaches have been fired because of their inability to win THIS game.
Name one.
Go ahead, name one.
Mike DuBose? He resigned two and a half weeks before the game after losing to UCF.
Terry Bowden? He quit in October after lucking into a win the previous November.
Pat Dye? He resigned the night before the game in order to stave off the effects of an NCAA investigation
Ears Whitworth? yeah, he couldn't beat ANYBODY, so giving Auburn credit for this one is certifiably insane.
Name me ONE HEAD COACH fired because of the result of the Iron Bowl. Just one.
Doug Barfield? The Auburn BOT (a shadow group run by Jar Jar Bobby Lowder in 1980) said in early November 1980 that Barfield had to win his last 3 games to have a chance. A dry cleaner named Chuck Smith was demanding Barfield's firing at that meeting, and they agreed to postpone it until ten days after the Iron Bowl.
Yeah, assistants have been tossed overboard for stupid play calling that helped cost games. But not one single head coach in the modern era has EVER been fired "because he couldn't win the Iron Bowl." People who say this are full of it.
3) "We can lose all our other games, but if we win the Iron Bowl we had a great season."
Had to have been said by an Auburn fan. WAS said by an Auburn player. Pat Dye actually said this prior to the 1984 game, about how the big thing was winning "the state championship." No word of when his last drink was when he said that one.
Wanna know what you call a team that won one game all year that's entering the Iron Bowl?
The loser.
Every year we go through this.
Every year people who say this need flogged with a tube sock full of screws.
Every year, a couple of pretentious prognosticators promote the insane idea of Auburn equality with Alabama, and nobody calls them out with the the eight letter single-word reply that starts with the noun "Bull." Because these are people who think Brent Musberger was a good announcer, think Led Zeppelin are more creative than Boston, and think the only thing this country is missing is the fact there are not enough BICYCLE paths to encourage exercise, weight loss, and green energy.
But I digress.
I'll add more to the list, but you're going to hear these because some sportswriter who couldn't make his high school volleyball team needs and easy column so he can go play the ponies, and his annual "who should I vote for the baseball Hall of Fame" column is next month's easy day.
1) Throw out the records when Alabama plays Auburn.
In a word, baloney. Mild upsets are rare enough, and colossal upsets never happen either. The only REAL MAJOR upset since the 1948 renewal was in 1984, and that owed more to Pat Dye outsmarting himself (admittedly a very small feat) than anything Ray Perkins or Alabama did. I'll ADMIT that on occasion overmatched teams (2004 Alabama, 2009 Auburn) seem to play better and make the outcome a little more difficult to achieve, but even these are flukes. In 2009, Auburn had an extra week to prepare while Alabama not only had a game, they had a SHORT WEEK for a road game in the SEC. Auburn's entire ability to throw a scare into the Tide had more to do with external issues than any on the field talent.
There are a few games that myopic and biased fans want me to believe are amazing upsets: 1972, 1982, 2002, 2013. NONE of these are major upsets. A few might be minor ones, but lets' face it: a one-loss team beating an unbeaten team in a winner-take-all game at the home stadium (2013) is simply NOT a "major upset" no matter how many fans wish to say it is. Now a ONE-WIN team beating #1? Sure, but it's never happened in the Iron Bowl.
2) Coaches have been fired because of their inability to win THIS game.
Name one.
Go ahead, name one.
Mike DuBose? He resigned two and a half weeks before the game after losing to UCF.
Terry Bowden? He quit in October after lucking into a win the previous November.
Pat Dye? He resigned the night before the game in order to stave off the effects of an NCAA investigation
Ears Whitworth? yeah, he couldn't beat ANYBODY, so giving Auburn credit for this one is certifiably insane.
Name me ONE HEAD COACH fired because of the result of the Iron Bowl. Just one.
Doug Barfield? The Auburn BOT (a shadow group run by Jar Jar Bobby Lowder in 1980) said in early November 1980 that Barfield had to win his last 3 games to have a chance. A dry cleaner named Chuck Smith was demanding Barfield's firing at that meeting, and they agreed to postpone it until ten days after the Iron Bowl.
Yeah, assistants have been tossed overboard for stupid play calling that helped cost games. But not one single head coach in the modern era has EVER been fired "because he couldn't win the Iron Bowl." People who say this are full of it.
3) "We can lose all our other games, but if we win the Iron Bowl we had a great season."
Had to have been said by an Auburn fan. WAS said by an Auburn player. Pat Dye actually said this prior to the 1984 game, about how the big thing was winning "the state championship." No word of when his last drink was when he said that one.
Wanna know what you call a team that won one game all year that's entering the Iron Bowl?
The loser.
