Joke thread - including cartoons, memes, and misc - Part III

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seebell

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Mar 12, 2012
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Gurley, Al
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."
 

Bazza

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Oct 1, 2011
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The Geography of a Woman as she ages:
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa .
Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe.
Well developed and open to trade, especially
for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain.
Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece.
Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain.
With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel.
Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice,
and takes care of business .
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada.
Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia.
Ruled by a pair of nuts!
 
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