I like the one from a few years ago that compared the SEC to countries in the middle East (remember, this was just after the hiring of CNS):
ALABAMA: Saudi Arabia. A once a proud kingdom, torn up by in- fighting g. The
neighbor to just about everybody else in the region, with Al-Qaeda (see below) bent on bringing them down.
LSU: Iran. Current superpower in the region but it will all come crashing
down because they have a highly functioning retard as a leader.
TENNESSEE: Iraq. Got a bunch of history but the country as a whole is
going in the tank and they will kill themselves off before it is all over.
FLORIDA: Syria. Evil punks who will stoop to whatever level they need to
win. No real history to speak of but thinks they are the cradle of
civilization.
GEORGIA: Kuwait. Tons of riches and unrealized potential, but still
vulnerable to Iraq and Syria.
AUBURN: Al Qaeda. No country just a movement of disgruntled fanatics who
live to blow up those who are more fortunate. No other goal in life than
to bring down the House of Saudi Arabia. Terrorizing the Arabians for the
past few years is the crowning achievement in their history. Signing day
was a major setback to the movement. They will be looking for a new leader
soon.
ARKANSAS: Palestinian territories. No one really cares or worries about
them unless they can be of some use (i.e. winning a battle once in a while
against Iran that causes a bit of shake up in rankings)
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Qatar. Where the heck is Qatar anyway?
OLE MISS: Egypt. Not much going for it aside from a big river and a past
rooted in forced servitude. Also historically known for hot women
(Nefertiti & Cleopatra).
VANDERBILT: Israel. Just leave them alone for God’s sake. What did they
ever do to you?
KENTUCKY: Turkey. Not really part of the Middle East. Has other things to
do than fight (or play football)
SOUTH CAROLINA: Libya. Set in a land of nothingness on the fringe of the
region. Has a charismatic leader who will wave his sword and yell a lot,
but knows he doesn't have a whole heck of a lot to back it up with.
For someone that claims to be a Star Wars fan, his character selection is beyond lame.
