Me too, he said, she said (spin off from "oh cuomo" but without politics)

[MobtownK]

I'm not saying that more sex education for Women isn't necessary, it probably is.

But Shouldn't the emphasis here be how do we keep men from seeing women as objects that they can do whatever they want with?

It seems like we are putting essentially all the burden of preventing this on the victims which I think is a bit insane.

I think comprehensive sex ed for both women & men is necessary.

 

[Padreruf]

Evolutionary biology says that our sex drive is about procreation -- leaving your genetic material behind so as to continue the species. I think if we educated our children more that this is a normal desire but will destroy you if not controlled, we might has less rape. Who knows? I have been amazed at the price human beings will pay for a 20 second muscle spasm.

 

[B1GTide]

Evolutionary biology says that our sex drive is about procreation -- leaving your genetic material behind so as to continue the species. I think if we educated our children more that this is a normal desire but will destroy you if not controlled, we might has less rape. Who knows? I have been amazed at the price human beings will pay for a 20 second muscle spasm.

Sadly, rape is really not about sex for most.

 

[MobtownK]

Evolutionary biology says that our sex drive is about procreation -- leaving your genetic material behind so as to continue the species. I think if we educated our children more that this is a normal desire but will destroy you if not controlled, we might has less rape. Who knows? I have been amazed at the price human beings will pay for a 20 second muscle spasm.

Or dealt with in a healthy safe manner...

20 second muscle spasm? I feel really sorry for men.
Just kidding kind of.

But fully agree that we teach kids that it's normal to have desire.

 

[Bamabuzzard]

Or dealt with in a healthy safe manner...

20 second muscle spasm? I feel really sorry for men.
Just kidding kind of.

But fully agree that we teach kids that it's normal to have desire.

It's not our fault the Lord armed men with a single shot and women with a 10 round automatic.

 

[TIDE-HSV]

Or dealt with in a healthy safe manner...

20 second muscle spasm? I feel really sorry for men.
Just kidding kind of.

But fully agree that we teach kids that it's normal to have desire.

Yes, I envy my wife from time to time...

 

[Bamaro]

Evolutionary biology says that our sex drive is about procreation -- leaving your genetic material behind so as to continue the species. I think if we educated our children more that this is a normal desire but will destroy you if not controlled, we might has less rape. Who knows? I have been amazed at the price human beings will pay for a 20 second muscle spasm.

Our sex drive is about feeling good (and power in some cases). I dont know the percentages but a HUGE amount of sex is recreational, not for procreation.

 

[Padreruf]

Our sex drive is about feeling good (and power in some cases). I dont know the percentages but a HUGE amount of sex is recreational, not for procreation.

That's what we believe...I get it...but behind our conscious thoughts are millions of years of genetic development using sex as procreation. We can have both...

 

[TIDE-HSV]

Our sex drive is about feeling good (and power in some cases). I dont know the percentages but a HUGE amount of sex is recreational, not for procreation.

Really, it's always procreation. The genes are in charge, trying to perpetuate themselves. Having us feel good is one of their tactics. Having us think it's volitional and for recreation is another...

 

[92tide]

i wonder if bonobos have the equivalent of a crazy/hot matrix

 

[Bamaro]

Really, it's always procreation. The genes are in charge, trying to perpetuate themselves. Having us feel good is one of their tactics. Having us think it's volitional and for recreation is another...

If that was true and your partner was on the pill (or other) sex wouldn't happen. Procreation in humans is the effect, not the cause although you are correct that they go together.

 

[TIDE-HSV]

If that was true and your partner was on the pill (or other) sex wouldn't happen. Procreation in humans is the effect, not the cause although you are correct that they go together.

Oh, good grief! Yes, that's what you would assume. Your genes don't take modernity into account...

 

[Padreruf]

If that was true and your partner was on the pill (or other) sex wouldn't happen. Procreation in humans is the effect, not the cause although you are correct that they go together.

You are assuming rationality in the decision to have sex...which is not always the case. Also, we as humans are not always aware of our subconscious motivations...

 

[Bamaro]

You are assuming rationality in the decision to have sex...which is not always the case. Also, we as humans are not always aware of our subconscious motivations...

Well, lets put it this way. If someone is deprived of sex they will take matters into their own hands.
No chance of procreation there.

 

[MobtownK]

You are assuming rationality in the decision to have sex...which is not always the case. Also, we as humans are not always aware of our subconscious motivations...

Especially when young. Teenagers are not known for their impeccable logic.

 

[tattooguy21]

I mean look at all your asking women to do (right after an extremely traumatic event) and then following up with, "men don't break the law."

Why should we not put more emphasis on changing men's mindsets, its not just about what is rape and is it illegal its about how a lot of men fundamentally view women and their bodies. It is much deeper than just "this is wrong don't do it"

Maybe I'm ignorant. I just thought that while women don't seem to be taught from youth about their options, how to respond, etc I thought that boys/ men were taught from multiple places/ people that rape is wrong/illegal. In all fairness, maybe that's to broad an assumption. And I'm speaking specifically about the modern U.S for the past 60 years or so.

 

[Ratal]

I think the scariest thing about most sexual assault and rape cases is that they are not black and white. Sure, there are cases where you can prove that a person was stalked and forced to have sex. There are also plenty of cases where someone was drugged and had no control over themselves. Those are fairly easy to categorize.

Now comes the "he said, she said" scenarios. Is it fair to say that a female can be too drunk to consent if the male is just as drunk? If she isn't in a mental state that can't make those decision then how can he be held accountable for essentially the same decision? How about the scenario that she didn't want to have sex but he legitimately thought she did but it wasn't communicated well between the two? To her, it was rape, but to him it was consentual. Maybe I am naïve to think that happens a lot. I feel terrible for both sides when it comes to those situations.

 

[MobtownK]

Maybe I'm ignorant. I just thought that while women don't seem to be taught from youth about their options, how to respond, etc I thought that boys/ men were taught from multiple places/ people that rape is wrong/illegal. In all fairness, maybe that's to broad an assumption. And I'm speaking specifically about the modern U.S for the past 60 years or so.

I would say that not all are. Very much a cultural thing and also influenced by peers. Many guys (that I know of at least) were taught that no might mean maybe, and to keep pressuring the woman to see if she changes her mind. Maybe its not explicitly said, but strongly implied? Not sure because I was raised differently.
Men are taught to be the pursuers, the agressors. But many aren't taught the fuzzy line not to cross. So maybe they know that rape is bad, they may not realize the nuances of what is ok and what isn't.

I've mentioned before, its worth saying again. Every woman that I know well has been sexually assaulted. Every one of them. From 90 to 14.
Obviously not all men sexually assault people- that would be preposterous. But enough do to make most of us wary of all men, or at least skeptical until we get to know someone.

And to the point of 2 people to drunk to fully consent... that would be the number one reason to not sleep with strangers. Because if you're that out of your mind drunk, you may not be able to articulate what you want and don't, much less understand their boundaries or be safe either.

 

[Bamabuzzard]

Among those that are of HS and college-age, I wonder what percentage of these cases had alcohol involved? My guess is A LOT.

 

[B1GTide]

And to the point of 2 people to drunk to fully consent... that would be the number one reason to not sleep with strangers. Because if you're that out of your mind drunk, you may not be able to articulate what you want and don't, much less understand their boundaries or be safe either.

Amen!