Please pray for me, I had a come to Jesus moment on Sunday.

[CrimsonNagus]

I have been debating making this post because, with all the need in the world right now, I feel a little selfish asking for prayer. Some of you may have seen my post or 2 about my anxiety in other areas of the board. It's been rough. I had to basically turn off news notifications on my phone, stop going to that one thread on the NS board because it is too depressing. I'm not trying to ignore the news or remain uninformed but, it's just too much for me to handle right now. Well, it got really bad on Sunday, after we watched our online church service. I went to our bedroom closet and broke down, crying like I haven't done in a long time. It was in that moment that I realized I had been lying to myself for a long time.

I accept Christ at a young age, like kindergarten age. See, I grew up in the southern baptist church, my dad was a minster of music for a long time. He still works at a local church as the orchestra director (he is also a high school/collage band director). So I grew up doing all the church things, every Sunday and Wednesday. Sunday school, worships service (no "kids" church when I was young), Sunday night services (remember those) and Wednesday nights RA's or bible study. It's just what we did.

So, back to me in the closet, a mess on the floor. I finally realized, or was finally being honest with myself, that I have never truly accepted Christ. That young boy, I believe, just really want to be able to participate in the lord's super because what kid doesn't like crackers and juice. So, I ask Christ to show me the peace that others have and to take over my life for him. What happened next was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, tell my wife and parents. Of course it was exciting news but, I was very embarrassed that it took so long. It was so hard to tell my dad because he was the one who baptized me when I was a kid. It was basically telling him that it wasn't real way back then. I've already talked to my pastor and he has agreed to let my dad baptize me, for real this time, once we are able to gather in public again.

No, my anxiety hasn't disappeared. I still have to take some medicine about once day, as I feel like I need a pill now but, I now know I have someone fighting with me in my corner. I'm excited to start truly growing in my relationship with the Lord.

Please, just pray for me and my growth as a new Christian and for my continuing fight with anxiety over the ongoing pandemic.

 

[jjv0004]

I have been debating making this post because, with all the need in the world right now, I feel a little selfish asking for prayer. Some of you may have seen my post or 2 about my anxiety in other areas of the board. It's been rough. I had to basically turn off news notifications on my phone, stop going to that one thread on the NS board because it is too depressing. I'm not trying to ignore the news or remain uninformed but, it's just too much for me to handle right now. Well, it got really bad on Sunday, after we watched our online church service. I went to our bedroom closet and broke down, crying like I haven't done in a long time. It was in that moment that I realized I had been lying to myself for a long time.

I accept Christ at a young age, like kindergarten age. See, I grew up in the southern baptist church, my dad was a minster of music for a long time. He still works at a local church as the orchestra director (he is also a high school/collage band director). So I grew up doing all the church things, every Sunday and Wednesday. Sunday school, worships service (no "kids" church when I was young), Sunday night services (remember those) and Wednesday nights RA's or bible study. It's just what we did.

So, back to me in the closet, a mess on the floor. I finally realized, or was finally being honest with myself, that I have never truly accepted Christ. That young boy, I believe, just really want to be able to participate in the lord's super because what kid doesn't like crackers and juice. So, I ask Christ to show me the peace that others have and to take over my life for him. What happened next was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, tell my wife and parents. Of course it was exciting news but, I was very embarrassed that it took so long. It was so hard to tell my dad because he was the one who baptized me when I was a kid. It was basically telling him that it wasn't real way back then. I've already talked to my pastor and he has agreed to let my dad baptize me, for real this time, once we are able to gather in public again.

No, my anxiety hasn't disappeared. I still have to take some medicine about once day, as I feel like I need a pill now but, I now know I have someone fighting with me in my corner. I'm excited to start truly growing in my relationship with the Lord.

Please, just pray for me and my growth as a new Christian and for my continuing fight with anxiety over the ongoing pandemic.

Congratulations on your decision. As you grow closer to Him you will be able to get past your anxiety and depression. Get in His word daily so you know who watches over you.

 

[Toddrn]

I have been debating making this post because, with all the need in the world right now, I feel a little selfish asking for prayer. Some of you may have seen my post or 2 about my anxiety in other areas of the board. It's been rough. I had to basically turn off news notifications on my phone, stop going to that one thread on the NS board because it is too depressing. I'm not trying to ignore the news or remain uninformed but, it's just too much for me to handle right now. Well, it got really bad on Sunday, after we watched our online church service. I went to our bedroom closet and broke down, crying like I haven't done in a long time. It was in that moment that I realized I had been lying to myself for a long time.

I accept Christ at a young age, like kindergarten age. See, I grew up in the southern baptist church, my dad was a minster of music for a long time. He still works at a local church as the orchestra director (he is also a high school/collage band director). So I grew up doing all the church things, every Sunday and Wednesday. Sunday school, worships service (no "kids" church when I was young), Sunday night services (remember those) and Wednesday nights RA's or bible study. It's just what we did.

So, back to me in the closet, a mess on the floor. I finally realized, or was finally being honest with myself, that I have never truly accepted Christ. That young boy, I believe, just really want to be able to participate in the lord's super because what kid doesn't like crackers and juice. So, I ask Christ to show me the peace that others have and to take over my life for him. What happened next was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, tell my wife and parents. Of course it was exciting news but, I was very embarrassed that it took so long. It was so hard to tell my dad because he was the one who baptized me when I was a kid. It was basically telling him that it wasn't real way back then. I've already talked to my pastor and he has agreed to let my dad baptize me, for real this time, once we are able to gather in public again.

No, my anxiety hasn't disappeared. I still have to take some medicine about once day, as I feel like I need a pill now but, I now know I have someone fighting with me in my corner. I'm excited to start truly growing in my relationship with the Lord.

Please, just pray for me and my growth as a new Christian and for my continuing fight with anxiety over the ongoing pandemic.

For those of us who believe all we can do is trust in God. Yes we can and should be vigilant during this national emergency. God expects us to use the good sense he gave us. However we have to go on living and not give up or give in to all of the negative stuff we hear. God is in control and we are just along for the ride. We are the back seat driver that never runs out of gas. Thank you for sharing and I will be praying for you and we should continue to pray for everyone around the world. We can all use more of Jesus. God Bless.

 

[Special K]

Prayers sent for you and your new life with Jesus Christ! You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about, and I guarantee that your dad and family are ecstatic and they are not one bit concerned about what happened before. I don't have anxiety issues, but my spiritual journey is very similar to yours and for years I claimed to be a Christian without having truly repented or accepted Christ. When I finally hit rock bottom spiritually and morally, God opened my eyes to the lie I had been living for so long. The good news though is, well, the Good News - that Jesus remains with open arms to accept all who repent and believe. That includes you - you are both saved and kept by His grace. Rejoice in that as we rejoice with you! God bless and keep you, now and always!

 

[GrayTide]

That was a powerful and courageous post. Without rehashing my last 6 months, suffice it to say that I have turned to the Lord to help me get through my loss. I still have moments of doubt and confusion, but try desperately to accept his love and plan for me. I know your parents will be overjoyed to learn what you learned.

 

[FitToBeTide]

Praise the Lord, brother. I too let Jesus in the door a long, long time ago. Problem was, though He was in the house, He wasn't the boss. In Nov. 1979 I had reached the end of myself and chose to finally hand him the keys and haven't looked back. Wouldn't ever want to go back. Your sharing that story nailed it all down. You can now look back and say, "This is where I drove the stake down, marking the time and place where I gave myself to Him." Your family and all believers rejoice in this glorious event. Now may He grow you in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ!

 

[Padreruf]

Good for you!!! Now on to the hard part...the daily walk. Prayers!!!

 

[CrimsonNagus]

Thank you everyone, for the kind words. It is really encouraging.

 

[Go Bama]

Prayers are with you, CN. You are not alone as these are very trying times for a lot of us. Religion is a very personal thing. My thoughts on Christianity do not fall in line with the mainstream or even my church, but it is where I am comfortable. I try daily to make decisions based on what Christ would see as a common sense approach. Seek God from within and externally and you will find your answers.

You have good friends and advice here. We are all with you. God bless.

 

[Tug Tide]

Amen to every word you wrote.

 

[tlockwood]

Sometimes being honest with ourselves is the hardest part. Congratulations on the best decision you have ever made!

 

[OSUTideFan]

You need to think of your relationship with Christ like a flower. Give it time to blossom. It doesn’t happen immediately. It’s your faith that allows it to grow. Give it time, my brother.

 

[NationalTitles18]

My thoughts on Christianity do not fall in line with the mainstream or even my church, but it is where I am comfortable. I try daily to make decisions based on what Christ would see as a common sense approach. Seek God from within and externally and you will find your answers.

I am very much in the same boat. And oh so many doubts.

I was fortunate to have my priest/minister this Sunday speak to the issue of doubt, using Thomas as the example and how Jesus made a point of coming to Thomas after the resurrection when he really did not have to do it. "I believe, help my unbelief". Something I struggle with daily as a rational human being.

 

[BamaNation]

@CrimsonNagus - Thanks for sharing. As GrayTide stated, that was courageous and powerful... and eloquent!

The first two weeks were very stressful for me for some reason - probably because I'm a control freak and there was not much outside my own house that I 'controlled' anymore. I used to be called "Mr. Unflappable" by my colleagues when I was in high-stress situations when I did IT consulting at Fortune 500 companies in late 90's/early 2000's - NOTHING bothered me. Not so true 20 years later.)

Several things I'll share that have REALLY helped me over the last 6 wks ...

1) Bible reading and much more prayer every day, multiple times per day. Reading through Bible using a well-defined reading plan or app to keep track (I use the BibleGateway.com website)

2) keeping a list of positives - ie. when I hear that death/sickness numbers go down, recoveries are up, new respirator deliveries not needed in many places, etc, thankfulness that we haven't been sick, kids doing well in online school, jobs, etc. My kids' principal has a jar that he puts pebbles into keeping up with the same thing so that he can visibly see all the positives that have happened during this period. I, too, don't watch news. I will start the day and end day with reading the news (preferably WSJ.com). This way I can select what I want to read and not have to hear talking heads opinionate incessantly and armchair QB everything (from both sides of the great political divide).

3) listening to acapella gospel music - I don't like much of what is played on "Christian" radio. All of it sounds too contrived, whiney, and "soundboxy" to me. I prefer Zoe Group, Acapella, and Bluegrass Gospel. But those are just my personal tastes. Find something you like, turn it on low in the background, and let it seep into your soul!

Thanks again.

 

[Padreruf]

@CrimsonNagus - Thanks for sharing. As GrayTide stated, that was courageous and powerful... and eloquent!

The first two weeks were very stressful for me for some reason - probably because I'm a control freak and there was not much outside my own house that I 'controlled' anymore. I used to be called "Mr. Unflappable" by my colleagues when I was in high-stress situations when I did IT consulting at Fortune 500 companies in late 90's/early 2000's - NOTHING bothered me. Not so true 20 years later.)

Several things I'll share that have REALLY helped me over the last 6 wks ...

1) Bible reading and much more prayer every day, multiple times per day. Reading through Bible using a well-defined reading plan or app to keep track (I use the BibleGateway.com website)

2) keeping a list of positives - ie. when I hear that death/sickness numbers go down, recoveries are up, new respirator deliveries not needed in many places, etc, thankfulness that we haven't been sick, kids doing well in online school, jobs, etc. My kids' principal has a jar that he puts pebbles into keeping up with the same thing so that he can visibly see all the positives that have happened during this period. I, too, don't watch news. I will start the day and end day with reading the news (preferably WSJ.com). This way I can select what I want to read and not have to hear talking heads opinionate incessantly and armchair QB everything (from both sides of the great political divide).

3) listening to acapella gospel music - I don't like much of what is played on "Christian" radio. All of it sounds too contrived, whiney, and "soundboxy" to me. I prefer Zoe Group, Acapella, and Bluegrass Gospel. But those are just my personal tastes. Find something you like, turn it on low in the background, and let it seep into your soul!

Thanks again.

Interestingly enough, many of us have to "change" our culture and group of friends in order to live out the gospel. Why? Differing priorities after coming to Christ. I know I did...I still had a level of friendship with them...but I didn't hang around them. I've seen this with others as well...the power of the community is vital. Good for you!!!

 

[BamaNation]

Also, something I saw on BibleGateway back in mid-March that also was a great resource:
free, open-access to Max Lucado's 5 teaching videos in the Anxious for Nothing Bible Study

...and devotionals/lessons from others on faithgateway.com