The 2020 Mental Health Thread

[NationalTitles18]

2020 has been a rough year for everyone. These are troubled times. Aside from murder hornets we've had a deadly pandemic, economic uncertainty, protests, riots, unbelievable political turmoil, and more! And that is aside from the normal everyday stress and strain we all face.

Those of us who work with the public or in the medical fields have added concern about potential or real exposures and/or concern for any patients we may have who have COVID-19 or may be especially vulnerable.

Our relationships are under stress. Many of us are feeling it in our minds and bodies. None of us should be ashamed to speak about it.

So this thread is to discuss some of this and to occasionally vent in a healthy way.

A couple of caveats to start:

We are on the politics board so it's OK to include that, but please no one argue with someone who is venting in this thread - even if you disagree. The point here is not about being "right" but to be able to get it out. Also, no one should use this thread to just rant about politics unless it is incidental to talking about mental health.

Also, if you are considering harm to yourself or others please get professional help immediately. Sure, we can offer support but we cannot help you if you are in that situation/state of mind.

If you feel you need a friend, pastor, or professional help please reach out to those people ASAP. We all need support and that is even more difficult in these times.

Please also take time each day for self care. Get sleep. Eat well. Stay hydrated. Get some rest and relaxation. Talk to a friend. Throw yourself into a hobby or other interest. Take time off and away from everything whenever you need it if possible. If you can't take off then find a way to work it into your schedule. And don't blame yourself if you can't do that - just do the best you can.

Feel free to join, but be respectful. If you begin an argument here be on notice that your comment will be deleted and you may be sidelined for a while. Let's use this one thread to support each other and build each other up.

 

[2003TIDE]

VENT: This year is a bust, which sucks. I had a lot of big plans for this year. Work from home is tedious if you can't get out and get a change of scenery and sometimes I don't even know what day it is. My wife and I both worked from home before this, and our thing was going out to dinner on date nights to get out of the house and away from the kid. I miss those days. I miss hanging out with friends. The holidays are going to suck this year, and we are going to make lots of family mad because we just aren't going to travel and be around people. I also feel bad for my 2.5 year old. He is bored at home and he is begging to go to "school" and see teachers and friends. Pile worrying about childcare on top of that. It is also super frustrating that we've put our lives on hold while a sizable chunk of the population is just carrying on maskless spreading covid with zero 's given. So many extra stressors right now....

THE GOOD: I've lost a few pounds during this. I've started back running again after completely falling off the wagon 2.5 years ago as a runner when kid #1 was born. I'm just doing 4 miles three times a week, but my plan is make it through the hot part of summer then stretch out to 10k three times a week. This has been helpful with the stress. I also bought a bike so that will be nice to get out and ride. We have a 1 week family beach trip planned in Sept and I rented a beach house for 2 weeks later in the fall and plan on working remote from there while the family relaxes in the pool and at the beach. I'm a little nervous about traveling, but we should be able to socially distance where we are going and I just need a change of scenery at this point.

Good luck everyone. Lets just get to 2021 at this point. I think at that point there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[DzynKingRTR]

It has been tough. It is depressing. I am worried about my future. I am trying to keep busy, but the days just drag along. I thought yesterday was Wednesday until about 8pm last night.

 

[92tide]

i have been able to ride my bike fairly consistently and have gotten back in decent endurance shape and my wife has gotten more consistent in her running. we have also been able to spend a ton of quality time with our daughter, but the flip side of that is my wife and i haven't been able to really do anything together.

thankfully, our company has been able to hold on, although figuring out who is going to work when has been a challenge.

what is really wearing me down is the inability of our country to get off of it's collective ass and deal with this problem, it's shameful.

it's also hard realizing that this whole thing is probably going to get a lot worse over the next several months.

 

[Jon]

was so excited to begin 2020, looked like a great year

I had a trip to Seattle for Spring Break in March, which was a hotspot at the time so cancelled and lost several hundred dollars to some shady VRBO owners AND a even shadier travel insurance scam through VRBO that pays for nothing

Then just the wife and I were going to spend nearly 2 weeks in Maui in May just the two of us cancelled. Another several hundred dollars in deposits lost

Had tickets to several bands I've been wanting to see for a while that were coming through Atlanta through the spring and summer, all cancelled

booked my hotel for DragonCon again this year, cancelled. Plus is I rolled it all over to 2021 so that is mostly paid for already

the positive is that I saved a great deal of $$$ not taking these trips and have quite a bit of Delta credits for when the world does open back up to us, assuming it ever does.

I was also doing great losing weight, dropped about 20 pounds by may eating right and hitting the treadmill daily and then it all went off the rails bet I am back to where I was at the start of this as I went into the "treating covid crisis like vacation and eating whatever I want" mode. Ending that now

other positive is that the wife and I have decided to get this house in shape. Resurfaced my pool in the spring/early summer and have been using it daily since early June and been creating extra spaces in the house for everyone. I and the wife both have private offices but set up extra spaces for the kids. Son now has a music room area and my daughter has her own outdoor space. In the last week I created an outdoor theater out by the pool so we can float or lounge watching movies/tv on a 120 Inch screen. Watched Empire Strikes back last night

 

[Padreruf]

i have been able to ride my bike fairly consistently and have gotten back in decent endurance shape and my wife has gotten more consistent in her running. we have also been able to spend a ton of quality time with our daughter, but the flip side of that is my wife and i haven't been able to really do anything together.

thankfully, our company has been able to hold on, although figuring out who is going to work when has been a challenge.

what is really wearing me down is the inability of our country to get off of it's collective ass and deal with this problem, it's shameful.

it's also hard realizing that this whole thing is probably going to get a lot worse over the next several months.

I hear you...I have learned to disengage...to control what I can control (maybe me??) and to let the other go. Somehow we will muddle through...if you let them the Lilliputians will tie you down and wear you out...and there are these on all sides.

 

[92tide]

I hear you...I have learned to disengage...to control what I can control (maybe me??) and to let the other go. Somehow we will muddle through...if you let them the Lilliputians will tie you down and wear you out...and there are these on all sides.

luckily, i'm a dudist at my core. so abiding the muddling through isn't a big stretch

 

[Padreruf]

luckily, i'm a dudist at my core. so abiding the muddling through isn't a big stretch

Are you a member of the Church of the Latter Day Dudes? Dudeism is much bigger than I knew...

 

[crimsonaudio]

I've been pretty active (rucking) for the last few years, but I now average about three hours rucking daily. It's truly cathartic for me.

That said, I'm a bit of a weirdo - I'm not anti-social, but I don't really need in-person social interaction (outside of my wife and kids) to be perfectly happy. I can check in (and check out) of social media / texting whenever I wish and that more than fills my need for interaction with other people. Likewise, I've spent the last decade or so slowly figuring out / internalizing Luke 12:22-25 (summary: who can add a single hour to your life by worrying?) and developed my own view:
Big world, small world: I can only control a very few things in my life, such as how I treat people, how I treat myself (diet, exercise, mental health - small world) - if I release the urge to control the things that are beyond my control (big world), I find far more peace, less anger, less frustration, less anxiety.

I've had essentially zero anxiety since COVID hit due to rewiring my brain over the years to process things in this way - my industry has been totally gutted, the very foundations of it have cracked and crumbled and there's a good chance the worst of it is to come and will last a long time, many years. Lots of people have already lost their careers, many more will lose theirs as well - mine might be among them at some point. But I don't dwell on it, I honestly don't care, as I know in my heart we'll be fine. And I also know worrying about it is pointless, it only makes one miserable.

Several folks who know me well have mentioned not being surprised that I'm as chipper and have as much fun as ever, and that while I'm cautious regarding social distancing, masks, etc, I'm not concerned about the future. I think I'm in really healthy place to deal with all this uncertainty, and because of that I've chosen to be proactive about making myself even better.

2020 has brought a lot of sadness to the world, but there's always goodness out there if we're willing to seek it out. We can dwell on the negative, which helps no one, or we can focus on the positive, which helps everyone.

 

[TexasBama]

luckily, i'm a dudist at my core. so abiding the muddling through isn't a big stretch

Strikes and Gutters

 

[Padreruf]

I've been pretty active (rucking) for the last few years, but I now average about three hours rucking daily. It's truly cathartic for me.

That said, I'm a bit of a weirdo - I'm not anti-social, but I don't really need in-person social interaction (outside of my wife and kids) to be perfectly happy. I can check in (and check out) of social media / texting whenever I wish and that more than fills my need for interaction with other people. Likewise, I've spent the last decade or so slowly figuring out / internalizing Luke 12:22-25 (summary: who can add a single hour to your life by worrying?) and developed my own view:
Big world, small world: I can only control a very few things in my life, such as how I treat people, how I treat myself (diet, exercise, mental health - small world) - if I release the urge to control the things that are beyond my control (big world), I find far more peace, less anger, less frustration, less anxiety.

I've had essentially zero anxiety since COVID hit due to rewiring my brain over the years to process things in this way - my industry has been totally gutted, the very foundations of it have cracked and crumbled and there's a good chance the worst of it is to come and will last a long time, many years. Lots of people have already lost their careers, many more will lose theirs as well - mine might be among them at some point. But I don't dwell on it, I honestly don't care, as I know in my heart we'll be fine. And I also know worrying about it is pointless, it only makes one miserable.

Several folks who know me well have mentioned not being surprised that I'm as chipper and have as much fun as ever, and that while I'm cautious regarding social distancing, masks, etc, I'm not concerned about the future. I think I'm in really healthy place to deal with all this uncertainty, and because of that I've chosen to be proactive about making myself even better.

2020 has brought a lot of sadness to the world, but there's always goodness out there if we're willing to seek it out. We can dwell on the negative, which helps no one, or we can focus on the positive, which helps everyone.

You sound like me...after 45 years of being a pastor and having to see to 600-800 people, I am enjoying just being quiet, playing golf, reading and catching up on British mystery TV series (Britbox). I cannot save the world -- and never could, even when I tried.

Thanks for sharing...

 

[TexasBama]

Are you a member of the Church of the Latter Day Dudes? Dudeism is much bigger than I knew...

I have been an ordained Dudeist Priest for several years

 

[MattinBama]

I've been pretty active (rucking) for the last few years, but I now average about three hours rucking daily. It's truly cathartic for me.

That said, I'm a bit of a weirdo - I'm not anti-social, but I don't really need in-person social interaction (outside of my wife and kids) to be perfectly happy. I can check in (and check out) of social media / texting whenever I wish and that more than fills my need for interaction with other people. Likewise, I've spent the last decade or so slowly figuring out / internalizing Luke 12:22-25 (summary: who can add a single hour to your life by worrying?) and developed my own view:
Big world, small world: I can only control a very few things in my life, such as how I treat people, how I treat myself (diet, exercise, mental health - small world) - if I release the urge to control the things that are beyond my control (big world), I find far more peace, less anger, less frustration, less anxiety.

I've had essentially zero anxiety since COVID hit due to rewiring my brain over the years to process things in this way - my industry has been totally gutted, the very foundations of it have cracked and crumbled and there's a good chance the worst of it is to come and will last a long time, many years. Lots of people have already lost their careers, many more will lose theirs as well - mine might be among them at some point. But I don't dwell on it, I honestly don't care, as I know in my heart we'll be fine. And I also know worrying about it is pointless, it only makes one miserable.

Several folks who know me well have mentioned not being surprised that I'm as chipper and have as much fun as ever, and that while I'm cautious regarding social distancing, masks, etc, I'm not concerned about the future. I think I'm in really healthy place to deal with all this uncertainty, and because of that I've chosen to be proactive about making myself even better.

2020 has brought a lot of sadness to the world, but there's always goodness out there if we're willing to seek it out. We can dwell on the negative, which helps no one, or we can focus on the positive, which helps everyone.

I’m a bit the same in that I’ve always been pretty good being with myself & it not bothering me. It has gotten to my wife a lot more than me as far as the stir crazy but we’re trying to do just a few things to ease that (even just taking scenic road trips without leaving the car while listening to music adds some normalcy for us).

Between Covid, the Climate crisis, as well as other societal breakdowns the stress does get to me some & cause some sleepless nights - but I’m pretty used to that as well since I’ve been an insomniac since high school.

One thing that has been nice & added a lot of laughter that I’ll recommend for anyone that enjoys British humor - watch Taskmaster. It is hilarious. The first 7 series are all available on Youtube. An American version apparently was also done but never really got the true spirit of the show correct from what I’ve heard.

 

[Bamaro]

luckily, i'm a dudist at my core. so abiding the muddling through isn't a big stretch

White Russians can be your friend in these times

 

[MobtownK]

I have almost posted in this thread many times but always stopped.

However, this article can explain partially what we're all going through in one way or another.

Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted — It’s Why You Feel Awful

Here’s how to pull yourself out of despair and live your life

elemental.medium.com

 

[jthomas666]

Yeah, I'm a little stressed out. The builder is about two weeks behind on finishing my house, and I have to be out of my apartment by Sept 8. On top of that, my wife's car decided that this would be a perfect time to develop a flaky transmission. Not worth it to repair, but my credit's kind of frozen until we close on the house. And that doesn't begin to factor in shared stress from my wife's job. If there was a bad decisions to be made in prepping for the new school year, Trussville made it.

On the plus side, the upside of living in a military town is that there is no shortage of liquor stores.

 

[NationalTitles18]

I have almost posted in this thread many times but always stopped.

However, this article can explain partially what we're all going through in one way or another.

Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted — It’s Why You Feel Awful

Here’s how to pull yourself out of despair and live your life

elemental.medium.com

Thank you for posting!

 

[MobtownK]

Yeah, I'm a little stressed out. The builder is about two weeks behind on finishing my house, and I have to be out of my apartment by Sept 8. On top of that, my wife's car decided that this would be a perfect time to develop a flaky transmission. Not worth it to repair, but my credit's kind of frozen until we close on the house. And that doesn't begin to factor in shared stress from my wife's job. If there was a bad decisions to be made in prepping for the new school year, Trussville made it.

On the plus side, the upside of living in a military town is that there is no shortage of liquor stores.

Completely understand about the car. We had to pull more money from savings to fix our truck too. Now just isn't the time, but it had to be done.
I hope your house gets done soon.

 

[TIDE-HSV]

It has been tough. It is depressing. I am worried about my future. I am trying to keep busy, but the days just drag along. I thought yesterday was Wednesday until about 8pm last night.

Hang in, guy! It will get better...

 

[TIDE-HSV]

I have almost posted in this thread many times but always stopped.

However, this article can explain partially what we're all going through in one way or another.

Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted — It’s Why You Feel Awful

Here’s how to pull yourself out of despair and live your life

elemental.medium.com

Interesting theory. Last night, my sleep was disturbed, rare for me. I realized this morning that one thing which was bothering me was a potentially stressful conversation with a grandchild (it turned out not to be). There was another planned telcon, business, which also turned out not to be too bad and the other factor, of all things, was facing cutting my hair again. I realized my shock absorbers had worn thin, and I grew up amidst the polio epidemics, spending the whole summer inside. Maybe that's part of the problem...