The Onion / Babylon Bee / great satire thread

[Tidewater]

Re: The Onion thread

Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers
American kids are behind at basic rifle marksmanship and mine-clearing.

"It costs money to put guns in the hands of our children."

 

[Bama Torch in Pcola]

Re: The Onion thread

This is an all timer for me.

http://www.theonion.com/article/eight-pound-man-removed-from-womans-vagina-890

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

It was - it was in a book but I can't find it online. I think the book was called "The Onion: Our Dumb Century."

Ahh, misunderstood you. Yah, their books are great - my parents got me some a while back:

 

[cbi1972]

Re: The Onion thread

Their 9/11 edition was a finalist for the Pulitzer. I'd post a link, but there are language issues.

New Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11

 

[selmaborntidefan]

Re: The Onion thread

PNC Park is a wonderful place to see a baseball game.

http://www.theonion.com/article/pnc-park-threatens-to-leave-pittsburgh-unless-bett-2003

PNC Park Threatens To Leave Pittsburgh Unless Better Team Is Built

PITTSBURGH—After five years of serving Pittsburgh as their state-of-the-art sporting facility, PNC Park, the home of the rundown, poorly maintained Pirates, said Tuesday it is threatening to leave Pittsburgh unless a new team can be built within the next three years.

 

[Catfish]

Re: The Onion thread

New Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11

That ain't right. I laughed, but that ain't right. :wink:

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

http://www.theonion.com/article/out-control-angel-kills-dozens-bystanders-vatican--52798

 

[dayhiker]

Re: The Onion thread

I love the Onion. A post last Friday cracked me up. America too sad to ***, but it's what Prince would have wanted.

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

I suspect every president has actually felt like this at least once...

:biggrin2:

http://www.theonion.com/article/obama-caught-trying-jump-white-house-fence-52753

 

[Catfish]

Re: The Onion thread

Man Wearing Sunglasses Upside Down On Back Of Head Still Recovering From Paul Walker’s Death

http://www.theonion.com/article/man-wearing-sunglasses-upside-down-back-head-still-52806

 

[AUDub]

Re: The Onion thread

Prescient:

Can't link the video, of course, but google it.

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

http://www.theonion.com/infographic/what-happens-if-trump-refuses-concede-election-54546

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

“At some point in time we all stopped caring about the deals and the holiday shopping and were pretty much just out for blood,” said Dana Marshall, 37, a Target shopper who suffered seven broken ribs and a cracked sternum while fighting two other customers for a discounted Nikon digital camera. “I remember just sitting on top of a woman and smacking her head with a DVD player until her face was completely unrecognizable. I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record

 

[uafanataum]

Re: The Onion thread

http://www.theonion.com/article/longtime-reader-lib-slavesinfo-sick-mainstream-bia-54745
Woukd like to post this in the Donald Trump thread but it would likely get moved.

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

Hahahahaha

City Of Chicago Working Around Clock To Clear 18 Inches Of Bullet Casings From Streets

 

[seebell]

Re: The Onion thread

hahahahaha. Some good stuff fellas!

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

Terrifying Man Selling Dead Trees Out Of Middle School Parking Lot

 

[crimsonaudio]

Re: The Onion thread

Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

Just look at how slow he’s going.

Hahaha

 

[NationalTitles18]

Re: The Onion thread

http://www.theonion.com/article/dep...tm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing

[h=1]Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House[/h][h=2]‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President[/h]

 

[MattinBama]

Re: The Onion thread

It's real. And it's spectacular. And dumbfounding for several reasons.