Since I am surrounded by Auburn fans at my office, I am subjected to a never-ending barrage of this sort of rhetoric.
I can recite quite a few points from memory:
1. National championships simply do not exist. They are mythical. [Now, they were not mythical in 2010 when my Auburn fan coworkers were high-fiving each other over the chance to win their first NC in 53 years.] The only way for there to be a championship, they say, is for there to be a playoff. The --- only --- way.
2. Even though national championships do not exist, the only ones that can be considered legitimate are the ones when a team goes undefeated (and untied in years past).
3. Alabama's only two accomplishments in the Nick Saban era are two SEC titles. That is all that we have done. Everything else, they say, is smoke-and-mirrors.
4. Alabama's other accomplishments (National Championships, Heisman trophies, Outland trophies, Doak Walker Awards, etc) are decided by polls. Therefore, any accomplishments by Alabama in these arenas are simply beauty pageants, where the voters are a press corps that are biased toward
Alabama.
5. They present me (weekly during the off-season, daily during football season) with various statistics about the two programs. They will compare winning percentages with varying start dates depending on what they want to "prove." The start dates are very convenient: "We [Auburn] have won more [games, titles, etc] since [2001, 2000, 1997, 1992, 1983, 1982, 1981] than Alabama has."
6. When they are in a slump, they revert to their second line of defense: They are not a football school [I usually agree with them on this point], and tout their academics. When I point out that Alabama ranks higher in the US News & World Report rankings, I am harangued with arguments about the quality of various colleges within the two universities. They seem particularly impressed with their engineering school.
I could go on and on, but that is a good snapshot of what I deal with each day, surrounded by a bank of mercifully-loud servers that drown-out most of their moaning and wailing.