Auburn JOKES

[numbersman]

A little kid told his classmates on Share Day that his dad was a male prostitute who performed lacivious acts if the price was right. The teacher quickly pulled the child aside to verify the story. The kid said, "I had to say something to keep from getting embarrassed since my dad works for Tommy Tubberville."

Just IN: 3 Auburn wide receivers have reported that they have broken fingers. An errant passed hit them in the nose.


RTR :eek2:

 

[TiderinMiss]

Auburn, in itself, is the biggest joke. :biggrin:

 

[wisten]

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Auburn War Eagle fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Auburn fans too. Not really knowing what a War Eagle fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Janet has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not an Auburn War Eagle fan" she reports.

"Then," asks the teacher, what are you?"

"I'm a Roll Tide fan" boasts the little girl. The teacher then asks Janet why she is a Alabama fan.

"Well, my Dad and Mom are Alabama fans, so I'm an Alabama fan too" she responds.

"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

Janet smiles and says, "Then I'd be an Auburn fan."

 

[wisten]

An Auburn grad grad decided to be a chicken farmer. He bought some baby chickens and planted them. after several days of watering and fertilizing he discovered they died, he decided he had planted the chickens wrong so bought some more and planted them head first and they died again. He wrote a detailed letter to Auburn explaining the whole delima, the school of ag. replied requesting a soil sample ...

 

[wisten]

The Auburn Cheerleader reported for her final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half and hour. But I'm rechecking my answers."

 

[CrimsonChuck]

The word is that Auburn fans are guilty of this crime:

Link

 

[jthomas666]

Washing Instructions

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "War Eagle."

"Hot water, five cups of bleach."

 

[Marauder]

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a motorcycle being rode by an Auburn fan?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.

 

[Spot Dailey]

Go here http://members.aol.com/AUTrailerPark/dale.html and peruse the links at the bottom of the page. That should keep you laughin' right up 'til game time. RTR

 

[BeenwiththeBear]

Auburn student's definition of safe sex: Cow that don't kick.

 

[BeenwiththeBear]

Two Auburn fans returning from the Georgia game, needing gas.
See a sign in Opelika that says free sex with fill-up. Whooee!!
Driver says, ahright, we filled up wars the sex?
Attendant says, see here (fine print) you have to now guess a number between 1 and 10.
Driver says 4 !, attendant says naw its 6. Driver thinks.... and says you could've said it is was any number. Attendant says.. ok.. give it another try. Driver says 8...... Attendant says Nooo.. I told you it was 6.

Auburn fans drive away and the driver says.. I still think that thing is rigged.The passenger says " No it ain't. My wife won twice last week".

 

[voodoodave]

How do you circumcise an Auburn fan?









Kick his sister in the chin. :biggrin: