Joke thread - including cartoons, memes, and misc - Part III

[Bazza]

 

[crimsonaudio]

 

[Bazza]

 

[Bamaro]

 

[Bazza]

 

[seebell]

 

[DzynKingRTR]

 

[Bamaro]

 

[seebell]

Some of you office drones need to look like this come Monday morning! He is hetero just likes skirts and heels.

Professional Man Proves To The World That Heels And Skirts Are Not Gender Specific

It's a common belief that clothes have "genders." That simply isn't the case

www.pupperish.com

 

[Bamaro]

 

[Bamaro]

 

[Bazza]

An elderly couple was flying to Hawaii for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.” Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later, the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Honey, did we pay the car bill this month?” “No, sweetheart,” she responds. Still shaken from the crash landing, he then asks, “Did we pay our credit card bill yet?” “Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says. “One last thing, did you remember to pay the medical bill for the hospital visit last month?” he asks. “Oh, forgive me, sweetheart,” begged the wife. “I didn’t send that one, either.” The husband grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 50 years. She pulls away and asks him, “What was the hug for?”

The husband answers, “They’ll find us

 

[Bazza]

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn’t gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, “…and you’re not going to believe this, but there’s guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass.

 

[92tide]

 

[Bazza]

 

[crimsonaudio]

 

[crimsonaudio]

 

[crimsonaudio]

 

[Bazza]

 

[Bazza]