AUBURN'S HISTORY OF MOVING THE GOALPOSTS
1957 - we have a national championship, Alabama doesn't have one of those.
1965 - well, they have two but they didn't earn the second one, they lost the bowl game we didn't play
1966 - well, they have three but only because of the flaky system that changed
1971 - national championships are nothing but popularity contests, but we have a Heisman Trophy winner as the best player in the game
1978 - how can you win a national title when you lost to the champion head-to-head? the AP poll is nothing but a popularity contest.
1982 - Bryant is retired, Alabama is never gonna be a contender ever again.
1983 - WE WUZ ROBBED! (this and 1957 are the only ones so far that are true)
1991 - Alabama couldn't beat us so they hired Eric Ramsey to destroy our program and somehow managed to get our coaches to make illegal benefit offers on tapes that never happened but were spliced together to make us sound guilty!
1993 - we couldn't win the national championship because it doesn't exist. UNTIL THE DAY there's a championship game and/or playoff, there's no such thing as a national champion and we have a better claim than most teams to what we say doesn't exist.
1995 - Alabama was always cheating, they just finally got caught. The NCAA is infallible when it comes to investigating everyone except us.
2000 - see, we told you Alabama was always cheating.
2007 - big deal, Alabama hired Nick Saban, we've beat him senseless in Jordan-Hare. He'll be there 3 years and back to the NFL.
2007 - see, Alabama still cheats! (Textbook scandal)
2009 - this was the worst decade in the history of Alabama football.
2010 - we just won the national championship! Everyone gonna forget Alabama just won it when Saban leaves next year!
2010 - Harvey Updyke is the avatar of every Alabama fan ever. Also, we lead the Heisman race again!
2011 - Alabama had no business getting a rematch.
2012 - until there's a playoff, which we hear is starting in 2014, there's no such thing as a national champion
2013 - "we were 12 seconds from winning the national championship!"
2014 - see, we told you if Alabama had to earn it on the field, they couldn't win the championship
2015 - Alabama is dead (the night of the Ole Miss loss)
2016 - see, they can't win two games in a row against a decent team. The SEC was overrated this year including us!
2017 - well, we should be the champions, we beat both teams but were forced into a rematch!
2018 - Ha ha ha, Alabama got killed by Clemson!
2019 - Saban isn't so great, Ed Orgeron and Les Miles won titles at LSU
2020 - this year doesn't count, there should be an asterisk, so this year, title and Heisman don't count.
2021 - now that it's legal to pay players and Saban isn't the only one who can do it, he'll never win again
2022 - see, even Brian Kelly can beat Alabama!
2023 - they were lucky to beat us on 4th and 31, and they lost anyway. Saban 's a quitter!
2025 - WE WON A BUNCH OF NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS!!!
