Hilarious Satire re: Top 10 Reasons People Hate Alabama

[Patently Bama]

I did not see this posted anywhere else and enjoyed it so much I wanted to share it with everyone else. This is a satirical listing of the top 10 reasons everyone (except us of course) hates the Crimson Tide. Enjoy!!

[ame=http://bleacherreport.com/articles/375636-10-reasons-people-hate-the-alabamacrimson-tide#page/1]10 Reasons People Hate the Alabama Crimson Tide | Bleacher Report[/ame]

 

[exiledNms]

Wait...does that admin note mean that posts here on TF are...*gasps*...not authoritative?? Well, I am depressed over this piece of news...:biggrin:

exiled

 

[IH8Orange]

The top reason people hate Alabama and have hated Alabama really differs according to audience:

Fans of other SEC schools hate us because we have been so dominating for so much of the history of the conference. While the performance of teams isn't necessarily a zero-sum game, the results are and we've been a virtual monopoly for many of the years of the SEC.

Fans of schools from other conferences don't universally hate us, but the supporters of many of those schools don't have much love for us because many of our bowl victories rudely ended once-in-a-lifetime seasons for them and we sometimes were quite non-chalant or even disappointed in playing their team. That made their losses even more unpalatable.

Many reporters and sports announcers don't seem to like us simply because we play boring football and yet we are very successful and prevent many of their more exciting and entertaining teams from getting the spotlight. I'm not sure why many of them released so much vitriol when Saban came to Alabama other than they sensed that once again boring, defensive-minded football would be dominating the high-flying circus acts that they prefer to cover. It's understandable why the Miami press was so peeved since they had their pride destroyed by losing a high-profile coach to, of all places, a redneck state. They consider themselves some cultural mecca and the mere thought that someone would prefer Alabama to Miami made their finely-manicured nails curl.

 

[p'colabamaman]

Many reporters and sports announcers don't seem to like us simply because we play boring football and yet we are very successful and prevent many of their more exciting and entertaining teams from getting the spotlight. I'm not sure why many of them released so much vitriol when Saban came to Alabama other than they sensed that once again boring, defensive-minded football would be dominating the high-flying circus acts that they prefer to cover. It's understandable why the Miami press was so peeved since they had their pride destroyed by losing a high-profile coach to, of all places, a redneck state. They consider themselves some cultural mecca and the mere thought that someone would prefer Alabama to Miami made their finely-manicured nails curl.

Maybe some consider a great rushing game, a balanced attack and great defense boring, but I certainly don't. Hell, that's what football is all about. IMO, the spread attack is boring.

 

[JPT4Bama]

"Hilarious Satire" may be a bit of a stretch..but thanks for the link. :BigA:

 

[CaliforniaTide]

Maybe some consider a great rushing game, a balanced attack and great defense boring, but I certainly don't. Hell, that's what football is all about. IMO, the spread attack is boring.

Anyone that watched our offense in the SECCG and didn't find it exciting wasn't watching the same game.

 

[MOAN]

Maybe some consider a great rushing game, a balanced attack and great defense boring, but I certainly don't. Hell, that's what football is all about. IMO, the spread attack is boring.

Winning championships never gets boring wouldn't you agree?

 

[Crimson Bourne]

Good Piece. Thanks for sharing. Glad to see someone out there in the media (if you can call The Bleacher Report Media) mention how over the top some of the hatred is.

 

[IH8Orange]

Maybe some consider a great rushing game, a balanced attack and great defense boring, but I certainly don't. Hell, that's what football is all about. IMO, the spread attack is boring.

We don't find it boring because we know that our type of offense does the things that increase the chances of success in a game:

• We usually control time of possession so we keep the other defense on the field longer and ours on the bench resting longer.
• We lull the other team and then take advantage with play-action passes.
• We don't put the game entirely in the hands of one player. We distribute the load more so that if one guy has an off day, someone else can pick up the slack.
• A more power run-oriented game wears down the other defense mentally and physically. There's nothing that tires you out and kills your spirit more than being smacked in the mouth play after play for 5 or 6 yards at a clip.

A lot of people want to see 50 or 60 passes a game even if they're the dink and dunk variety. We're in the minority it seems, loving the more physical game.