Bizarre Headlines in News III

[Bodhisattva]

I'm reminded of that breed of goat that fall over unconscious when startled...

 

[Bamaro]

Instructor held after woman shot in firearm training course, police say
A woman participating in a firearm training course was shot when a gun went off as an instructor was demonstrating weapon safety, Baltimore Police said Wednesday.

After a preliminary investigation, officers determined the woman was taking a firearm training course and had been shot accidentally when the gun went off as the instructor “was demonstrating how to render a firearm safely,” police said in the release.

The instructor was taken into custody, police said, but is not currently facing charges. The woman was listed in stable condition at an area hospital, according to police.

 

[Bamaro]

Chimps are sticking grass and sticks in their butts, seemingly as a fashion trend
A group of chimpanzees in Zambia have resurrected an old fashion trend with a surprising new twist.

Fifteen years after a female chimpanzee named Julie first stuck a blade of grass into her ear and started a hot new craze among her cohort at the Chimfunshi Wildlife Orphanage, an entirely new group of chimps at the refuge have started doing the same thing.

"We were even more shocked that they were doing their own spin on this by also inserting the grass and sticks in a different orifice."

The chimps, he says, have been putting blades of grass and sticks into their ears and anuses, and simply letting them dangle there for no apparent reason.

 

[DzynKingRTR]

I mean what else are you supposed to do with a blade of grass and stick?

 

[CrimsonJazz]

And somewhere an old curmudgeon monkey is watching all this and writing angry posts on a popular sports forum. Hey, wait a minute......

 

[Bodhisattva]

Well, to be fair, what else is one supposed to do until football season comes back around? Learn stuff? Try to better humanity? I ain't got time for that. Where's my stick?

 

[92tide]

the remake of every which way but loose is going to be lit.

the merchandising opportunities will be endless

 

[Elefantman]

Obviously the evolution step between some people and chimps is not that high.

 

[TIDE-HSV]

Obviously the evolution step between some people and chimps is not that high.

"Bedtime for Bonzo?"

 

[Bamaro]

Woman's 'swamp crotch' triggers airport security scanner - leaving her 'humiliated'

The devices identify any signal interference, including dampness, since perspiration can bounce back the waves in a way that triggers an alarm.

"Perspiration is probably the weirdest thing that can set off the scanners," said Malvini Redden. "It has to do with millimeter wave technology and how the waves bounce off water."

The traveler expressed her confusion about the TSA's procedures, observing that while the agents remained polite and professional throughout her pat-down, she couldn't understand why it occurred twice during a single journey. She referred to herself as "midsized," donning bike shorts and standard underwear.

A seasoned traveler recommended: "Boxer briefs over boxers, the boys need to be high and tight. Pants material doesn't make too much of a difference. What does is sag. When you get in the machine, pull your pants as high up as you can. Sagging pants make a shadow or something, and it guarantees a pat down."

 

[TIDE-HSV]

I saw that and had to chuckle. I not only have an artificial right hip, femoral groin surgery, followed by infection and more surgery, left me with extensive scar tissue on both sides, which has the same effect. I was stopped by one particularly officious TSA officer. I started to offer to repair to a back room with him, so he could see what scar tissue looked like for the future...

 

[CrimsonJazz]

Fun Fact: TSA officials don't find it funny when you start yelling, "I need an adult! I need an adult!" when the pat-down starts. Pretty sure that's a great way to wind up on the no-fly list.

 

[DzynKingRTR]

Fun Fact: TSA officials don't find it funny when you start yelling, "I need an adult! I need an adult!" when the pat-down starts. Pretty sure that's a great way to wind up on the no-fly list.

Also never say, "I don't know what you are looking for but it is a little to the left."

 

[TIDE-HSV]

Fun Fact: TSA officials don't find it funny when you start yelling, "I need an adult! I need an adult!" when the pat-down starts. Pretty sure that's a great way to wind up on the no-fly list.

I'm pretty sure this guy was former military or LEO, just something about his demeanor. I hate to say it, but having flown a great deal lately, I'd say they've become more aggressive with the new emphasis on immigration control...

 

[CrimsonJazz]

I'm pretty sure this guy was former military or LEO, just something about his demeanor. I hate to say it, but having flown a great deal lately, I'd say they've become more aggressive with the new emphasis on immigration control...

Sir, is that an immigrant in your pants or are you just happy to see me? (Sorry, I just couldn't resist.)

 

[CrimsonJazz]

Western Michigan University (@WesternMichU) "Medical Ethics" professors Parker Crutchfield & Blake Hereth published a research paper calling for the SPREAD of a tickborne disease that makes people severely allergic to red meat.

They believe that eating red meat is "morally impermissible."

WHATTT?

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1949954274223419715

Yo @TIDE-HSV , is this the condition you suffer from?

 

[crimsonaudio]

With ethics like that, who needs enemies?

 

[TIDE-HSV]

Western Michigan University (@WesternMichU) "Medical Ethics" professors Parker Crutchfield & Blake Hereth published a research paper calling for the SPREAD of a tickborne disease that makes people severely allergic to red meat.

They believe that eating red meat is "morally impermissible."

WHATTT?

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1949954274223419715

Yo @TIDE-HSV , is this the condition you suffer from?

Yes, and it's not just meat. It's any mammal product, like gelatin capsules. Another bugaboo is carrageenan, which is in everything now as an emulsifier. It's made from red algae, but it duplicates the problem epitope. It turns you into a compulsive label reader. To clarify, we can eat all non-mammal meat. Among mammals, we can eat old world monkeys, great apes, and, of course, other humans. Emu and ostrich are red meats, pretty much duplicating the taste of grass-fed beef, but, being non-mammal, we can eat them. I'm probably healthier overall because of the diet I was forced on...

 

[CrimsonJazz]

Yes, and it's not just meat. It's any mammal product, like gelatin capsules. Another bugaboo is carrageenan, which is in everything now as an emulsifier. It's made from red algae, but it duplicates the problem epitope. It turns you into a compulsive label reader. To clarify, we can eat all non-mammal meat. Among mammals, we can eat old world monkeys, great apes, and, of course, other humans. Emu and ostrich are red meats, pretty much duplicating the taste of grass-fed beef, but, being non-mammal, we can eat them. I'm probably healthier overall because of the diet I was forced on...

Silver lining, that. Being forced to eat more healthfully has undoubtedly benefitted you. Still though, what a tough allergy to have. I don't know the sensitivity levels of it, but I imagine you have to make sure your food doesn't touch a grill or cooking surface that had cooked mammalian meats just before. On the upside, there's plenty of fried chicken and beer-battered fish out there (both of which I prefer over most red meat products.)

Imagine these guys in the tweet actually pulling a stunt like that. I would regard this as nothing less than terrorism.

 

[oskie]

Yes, and it's not just meat. It's any mammal product, like gelatin capsules. Another bugaboo is carrageenan, which is in everything now as an emulsifier. It's made from red algae, but it duplicates the problem epitope. It turns you into a compulsive label reader. To clarify, we can eat all non-mammal meat. Among mammals, we can eat old world monkeys, great apes, and, of course, other humans. Emu and ostrich are red meats, pretty much duplicating the taste of grass-fed beef, but, being non-mammal, we can eat them. I'm probably healthier overall because of the diet I was forced on...

... I consider "old world monkey stew" to be one of my "comfort foods".
.