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Dear Coach Fran

Dear Fran,

Would you kindly mind going by your middle name? You are an embarassment to us and our movement.

Sincerely,
The Women of the World
 
TideFaninFl said:
Sir,

Thank you for the interest in our athletic program. As of the present time, we have no positions open. Please try again when areas south start to freeze over.

University of Maryland

P.S. What makes you think that if Kentucky did not want you we would?
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Dear Coach Fran,

We know how much you strive to walk in the reverse steps of Coach Bryant, but no we can not accept your offer to fill our vacancy.

Sincerely,
North Carolina Pre-Flight and the US Navy.
 
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Dear Coach Fran,

We have heard about your intentions to follow the reverse footsteps of Coach Bryant. However, we suggest that you not apply for our opening now or ever. Go home to Pitsburg, KS, and leave the college football world alone.

Sincerely,
Vanderbilt University
 
Dear Coach Fran

You're the reason that God made Oklahoma.

Sincerely,
the 12th man
 
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Dear Coach Fran,
My trainer has told me of your attempt to walk backwards in "The Bear's" footsteps. I do not want to offend you but there are some things even a bear won't do.

Sincerely, Grizzly Bear
 
Dear Fran,

When are you going to realize that the reallly big bucks are in leaving a job? Most tin-horns can BS their way into a decent paying gig, but it takes a real pro to to make them give you monster money for leaving.

Larry Brown
 
Dear Coach Franchione,

We regret to inform you that you will not be a nominee for "Best Female Athlete" at this year's ESPY awards. After careful consideration from our committee, we determined that you did not meet one very important criteria. You are not an athlete. However, next year we will be introducing three new categories: the "Phillip Fulmer Integrity Award", the "Terry Bowden Quitters Never Win Award", and the "Bill Oliver Loyalty Award". We are confident that you'll be strongly considered to be a nominee for each of these awards.

Respectfully,
I. M. Bias
Committee Chairman, ESPN
 
Capt. Jack said:
Dear Coach Franchione,

We regret to inform you that you will not be a nominee for "Best Female Athlete" at this year's ESPY awards. After careful consideration from our committee, we determined that you did not meet one very important criteria. You are not an athlete. However, next year we will be introducing three new categories: the "Phillip Fulmer Integrity Award", the "Terry Bowden Quitters Never Win Award", and the "Bill Oliver Loyalty Award". We are confident that you'll be strongly considered to be a nominee for each of these awards.

Respectfully,
I. M. Bias
Committee Chairman, ESPN
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I love this one. Keep it going guys.
 
Dear Coach Fran,

If you do not survive at A&M this season, I have a business proposal for you...you will love it trust me



Sincerely,
Richard M. Schrushy

P.S. I also have a friend that may want to join in as well, as he is looking for a job
 
Dear Coach Fran,
If you don't stop threatening me you will be hearing from my lawyer.

Sincerely, Nick Saban

PS. You can't believe everything you read on the internet.
 
Dear Coach Fran:

I miss you dearly. When you were here you would check on me throughout the off-season often taking such intense interest in certain parts of me that it was almost obsessive. I really liked when you would take a pen and draw circles on me.

Your replacement only glances at me and doesn't seem to obsess about anything. I guess you're drawing circles on someone else now.

Sincerely

Alabama Football Schedule
 
Dear Fran,

I forgot to tell you. For the ESPY's we are also adding the Bobby Lowder award titled the "Let's buy out the team that's about to stomp our *****" award. Then we realized that because Oklahoma was a conference game you couldn't get out of that shellacking no matter how many dollars your school threw at it. Because of that we've nominated you for a century award. It's titled the, "Most Embarassing Pounding a Division One Coach Has Taken Since Television Was Invented" award.

We're pretty sure you're going to win it.

Respectfully,
I. M. Bias
Committee Chairman, ESPN
 
Dear Fran (Dennis),

How could you? How could you allow me to wear the pants in the family without a word. I am the laughing stock of the Big 12 Head Coaches Wife's Association. Mac's Wife is the Queen of and I am the ugly duckling. Everywhere I go the coaches wife's are laughing behind my back. Had I stayed in Alabama I would be at the Top of the SEC Wife's Association. Dennis when will you tell me to have a big cup of shut-up. I had you leave Alabama where you were Top Dog but now the whipping boy for the BIG-12. 77-0, 52-17 and so on. How could you listen to me???? HOW DENNIS!!!

Your Wife
Kim
 
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Hey can somebody flush this stuff off of me--this pile of Fran on me MIGHT(and I emphasize might) prevent some ALLBARN fan from throwing me onto some stupid tree.


Mr. Charmin
Head Roll
Toilet Tissue Clan
 
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