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Official Joke Thread (Please place non-political jokes the other NS)

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Did you know that when lawyers die, they bury them 20 feet deep? It’s because deep down, lawyers are really good people.
 
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AlistarWills said:
Did you know that when lawyers die, they bury them 20 feet deep? It’s because deep down, lawyers are really good people.
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If that's the case, maybe we should help a bunch of them to be really good people BEFORE they die ;)
 
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Phone-call-duration-500x714.jpg
 
Re: Official Joke Thread

Facts of Life

A little boy is walking down the street with his father when he observes two dogs mating. He turns to has father and asks, “What are they doing, daddy?”

The father replies, “Well, son, I guess it’s OK for you to know. That is how puppies are made.”

That night, the little boy has a bad dream and enters his parents’ bedroom to discover them having sex. “What are you doing?” he asks.

“Well,” replies his embarrassed dad, “we didn’t intend for you to know about this sort of thing until you’re older, but since you’ve seen, you might as well know: This is how babies are made.”

“Well turn her over,” the little boy says. “I’d rather have a puppy.”
 
Re: Official Joke Thread

Jewish Cabdriver in New York
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and
laid on the back seat.
The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.
The woman glared back at him and said,"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you ever
seen a naked woman before?”
The old Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you
sumsing, lady. I vasn't staring at you like you tink;
dat vould not be proper.”
The woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you’re not staring at my boobs
or my butt, sweetie, what are you doing then?”
He paused a moment, then told her, "Vell....M'am,
I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to
myself, vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money
to pay for dis ride?”
Now, that's a businessman
 
Re: Official Joke Thread

People from high tech towns like HSV will understand this one:

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