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The Holidays, Family Gatherings and Cell Phone "Rules".

Bamabuzzard

Bamabuzzard

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Aug 15, 2004
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It is that time of year again where families come together for the holidays under one roof to spend quality time together with those they may not see much of during the year. We are already receiving group texts coordinating who will be attending Thanksgiving at "Aunt Judy's" next week etc. In one of the texts "Aunt Judy" request that everyone try and keep their cell phones put away while "visiting". Some of you may have experienced something similar. It has become common for some to implement a "cell phone" rule in which the host ask that people's cell phones be put up unless absolutely necessary. Some go as far as having a basket sitting out as people enter to put your phones in.

As my wife and I were reading the messages in the group text for Thanksgiving Thursday. I told her though I "get" the sentiment behind the cell phone rule. It just seems a bit childish. If someone would rather sit on the couch and play on their cell phone than visit with family. Then let them. Why would you want to basically force someone to interact with "you" that doesn't want to? If "Uncle Joe" (who nobody likes anyway) wants to sit on the couch and surf the net, then let him. If the stuck up 20 year old college niece wants to text her friends the entire time she's there. Then let her. She's only there because mama and daddy made her.

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!!! LOL!
 
The rule at my mom’s house is no cell phone at the dinner table. Doesn’t matter if it is Thanksgiving or not, the rule is no phone at the table.
 
DzynKingRTR said:
The rule at my mom’s house is no cell phone at the dinner table. Doesn’t matter if it is Thanksgiving or not, the rule is no phone at the table.
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Yeah, my parents have the same "rule" and since "Mama" is cooking and it's her house. I don't say a word. The phone is in my pocket and I'm eating. LOL!
 
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I think it’s a good idea and frankly I take it as the older generation trying to teach the younger to communicate. Honestly, I can see a path where the staring at the device instead of getting to know your extended family, makes the family gatherings go the way of the Dodo.
I’ve tried to make the teens in my family put phones up when our family is together but my brothers family won’t make his girls comply and leave devices in the car. It’s annoying when people are telling stories and such and the kids all have their heads down staring Instagram instead of learning something about their family.
 
I'm confused. Normally you're the one posting life stories about someone not following the rules and the heartburn it causes. :)
 
AlistarWills said:
I think it’s a good idea and frankly I take it as the older generation trying to teach the younger to communicate. Honestly, I can see a path where the staring at the device instead of getting to know your extended family, makes the family gatherings go the way of the Dodo.
I’ve tried to make the teens in my family put phones up when our family is together but my brothers family won’t make his girls comply and leave devices in the car. It’s annoying when people are telling stories and such and the kids all have their heads down staring Instagram instead of learning something about their family.
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Being constantly connected on social sites such as Facebook has actually impacted our graduating HS class from wanting to have reunions. They "see" each other everyday on Facebook and already know what they look like, what their family is doing etc. Some of the younger graduating classes that came after mine are having to combine reunions with multiple classes to barely get what you used to get with one class. You normally don't start seeing that until people start getting into their late 50's and 60's because so many have passed away. I'm seeing it now with people in their early 40's all the way down to early 30's.
 
I think you go halfway here.

I like the rule of no phones at the dinner table. But the rest of the time it's free game. Many people are still coordinating their schedules day of or talking with other family members. And, like you said, phones can sometimes be a nice way to make sure that people who are a pain or don't want to engage stay out of the way.

However, it's not really that big of an issue for my family. I'm sure it's more of an issue for some families. I find that the people on their phones are usually the ones I want to talk to the least anyways so I'm content to let them stay on it so I don't have to come up with some inane topic of conversation to feign interest.
 
tidegrandpa said:
I'm the worst, I make grandkids watch historical movies ( Cinderella Man, Seabiscuit, etc.) or documentaries that I know will get their attention and no pnones allowed.

Along with huge banana splits.
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What time are we eating? LOL! I'm in on this!


I remember when my cousins and I were kids (before cell phones and kid occupying technology) we used to get in trouble by my grandparents for not "paying attention" when we were in the living room and "Memaw" was telling stories about our family and family history. At the time it was so boring but now that I'm an adult I'm so glad she made us pay attention because it now means a lot more to me than when I was a kid.
 
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Bamabuzzard said:
Being constantly connected on social sites such as Facebook has actually impacted our graduating HS class from wanting to have reunions. They "see" each other everyday on Facebook and already know what they look like, what their family is doing etc. Some of the younger graduating classes that came after mine are having to combine reunions with multiple classes to barely get what you used to get with one class. You normally don't start seeing that until people start getting into their late 50's and 60's because so many have passed away. I'm seeing it now with people in their early 40's all the way down to early 30's.
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Same here. Thanks to Facebook, I know what the other 46 people I graduated high school with are doing. Hell, because most post their pics of what they had for dinner, I know that too.
 
Intl.Aperture said:
I think you go halfway here.

I like the rule of no phones at the dinner table. But the rest of the time it's free game. Many people are still coordinating their schedules day of or talking with other family members. And, like you said, phones can sometimes be a nice way to make sure that people who are a pain or don't want to engage stay out of the way.

However, it's not really that big of an issue for my family. I'm sure it's more of an issue for some families. I find that the people on their phones are usually the ones I want to talk to the least anyways so I'm content to let them stay on it so I don't have to come up with some inane topic of conversation to feign interest.
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Being on the phone wouldn’t stop any of my family members from irritating the devil out of me.
Now, since all of my parents and grandparents have passed, it’s about my immediate family on the holidays. Siblings have their own tribes to deal with.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I take my office staff and their families to an upscale restaurant during the Christmas season. It chaps my butt to watch one employee’s daughter stare at her cell phone while I’m paying for her meal.

Cell phones are part part of our culture but at my parents house we sat down to eat together and the TV was turned off. Mama knew best.
 
No phones at the dinner table for my family no matter if at home, eating out or at someone else's house. It's so ingrained into my daughter at this point that she looks at people like they're "stupid" when she see's other people doing it.
I make my daughter stop and listen to her elders when they are speaking as that is simple respect.
You come to my house and eat and it better be an emergency if you look at your phone because if not she'll take it from you.
 
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