Elton John is a real sicko!

JAXFLBAMAFAN

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He always appeared rather girly and effiminate in those portraits of him on the wall in the Southern Baptist church I attended when I was growing up.

They should know since the SoBap Church had a portrait artist in the field back in King Herod's day. They also were scrounging around to make sure that everybody didn't actually drink wine, but drank the water off the top of the wine barrel. :)
Guys I think you need to find something else to joke around about. You all can call me a prude if you want too but this ain't funny or entertaining.
:conf2:
 

Ldlane

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That's right. To each his own. No one mentioned the King James Version of anything. Jesus claimed to be the Son of God, which I believe. Jesus told the people of that day that He and the Father were one. Which I also believe. So on that basis of my belief I highly doubt Jesus was gay considering God the Father destroyed an entire city because of their "gayness".

If you want to believe or suggest Jesus was gay then go right ahead. But you won't do it without some resistance from me and God help you when you stand before the white throne.
I didn't "suggest" Jesus was a homosexual. I said that there were documents removed in Nicea that did suggest that. Why is the throne always white?
 
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formersoldier71

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Why is the throne always white?
Always? There is one mention in Revelations of a white throne. In the vast majority of the appearance of the word "throne" in the Bible, a color is not assigned. Solomon's throne is said to be made of Ivory...... overlaid with gold.

I could be wrong, but I hardly think that the color is important. The fact that it's there is...
 
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Ldlane

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Thanks, It's been a while since I've been to church and I've been "backsliding" by stating historical fact. I love these threads because you get to see who really "turns the other cheek" or "doesn't judge other people." The true followers of the teachings of Jesus.

I will say that I'm glad to be going to Hell with you and Slab. I'll bring the "frybread" and Mutton!
 

CharminTide

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Tell y'all what, if Jebus is as humorless as some of his followers, then Hell seems like a much more entertaining place to spend my eternity.
 

bayoutider

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Thanks, It's been a while since I've been to church and I've been "backsliding" by stating historical fact. I love these threads because you get to see who really "turns the other cheek" or "doesn't judge other people." The true followers of the teachings of Jesus.

I will say that I'm glad to be going to Hell with you and Slab. I'll bring the "frybread" and Mutton!
One of my dearest friends is a retired Episcopal Priest and he told me god has a sense of humor if you don't believe it just look around. I'm not one to tell someone how to worship and not one to walk on hot coals to prove my faith. I am very comfortable in my own skin. Yes I go to church, not as active as I once was due to my health but more active than many who are still athletic compared to me.
 

Ldlane

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One of my dearest friends is a retired Episcopal Priest and he told me god has a sense of humor if you don't believe it just look around. I'm not one to tell someone how to worship and not one to walk on hot coals to prove my faith. I am very comfortable in my own skin. Yes I go to church, not as active as I once was due to my health but more active than many who are still athletic compared to me.
I'm with you on that. I went to church early in my life and still read as many religious texts that I can. I agree with the Tom T. Hall song, "Me and Jesus got our own thing going!"
 

formersoldier71

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I didn't "suggest" Jesus was a homosexual. I said that there were documents removed in Nicea that did suggest that.
I assume you're talking about texts used by the Ebionites. They also didn't believe in the virgin birth, Christ's resurrection, etc. The text used to suggest homosexuality is hardly clear-cut. The word "love" is used, but sexual relations were usually signified by words such as "lay with" or "know".
 

cbi1972

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I assume you're talking about texts used by the Ebionites. They also didn't believe in the virgin birth, Christ's resurrection, etc. The text used to suggest homosexuality is hardly clear-cut. The word "love" is used, but sexual relations were usually signified by words such as "lay with" or "know".
Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.

Why is the throne always white?
There's a cleaning service that comes in and scrubs the bowl every night.
 

92tide

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Guys I think you need to find something else to joke around about.
most, if not all of the jokes on here have been about peoples projections of their own conceptions onto Jesus.

off to joyfully sing my tenor part in the great litany this am, and also a wonderful psalm new arrangement accompanied by an organist who may or may not be gay in a church completely draped in purple.
 

Bamabuzzard

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It sure did come across as you were.

The "White throne" is the throne of judgment. And why it is white is something you'll have to ask the Lord.. Maybe He's not only gay but racist as well.

I didn't "suggest" Jesus was a homosexual. I said that there were documents removed in Nicea that did suggest that. Why is the throne always white?
 
I

It's On A Slab

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most, if not all of the jokes on here have been about peoples projections of their own conceptions onto Jesus.

off to joyfully sing my tenor part in the great litany this am, and also a wonderful psalm new arrangement accompanied by an organist who may or may not be gay in a church completely draped in purple.
I like this rendition of Psalm 121:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBKRriDGyBA]YouTube - Psalm 121/ Flight Of The Falcon[/ame]
 

jps1983

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I didn't "suggest" Jesus was a homosexual. I said that there were documents removed in Nicea that did suggest that.
Sounds like the Dan Brown version of religious history in that the Council removed books simply based on the substance without any regard for accuracy. I'm not saying texts weren't removed for substance, but most of the books not included were either dated considerably after the lifetime of Jesus or contained dogma from small branches of Christianity that no other group believed (many Gnostic texts fit both categories; Gospel of Mary; Gospel of Peter are specific examples).
 

bamahippie

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Aw, man... It's amazing that when folks make fun (yes, blaspheme) the name of Jesus, if someone dares defend His name, then THEY're the jerk. Huh? I know that this country has gone downhill statistically since "God" has been taken out of almost all social settings, when at all possible. Just pick a moral category, and see how the numbers turn out, since say, the forties. They don't lie. And even though folks think they are taking God out of the equation, He is alive and well, and there will be a day of judgment for those who do not believe, though they've been given chances, mercy extended, etc. Just think, our country is "going to Hell" right now before our very eyes, compared to decades gone by, and are churches are emptier than ever before...except for the feel-good, tell-you-what-you-want-to-hear churches. And when people think they are taking "God" out of society, well, they are. The Gospel is not being preached, truth is not being told, and generations of folks live as they please, and miss out. Read the Isrealites attitude in the Old Testament! And people throw excuses out all over the map, including "Well, I went to church, blah, blah..." If you're blaming God for what some stupid person has done to you (hurt your feelings, etc.), for the ravages of disease or death (I've lost enough loved ones, so don't go there), for whatever reason, you're just looking for an 'out'. Something you can tell yourself and others (some will laugh along) because you want to live however the heck you want (ain't nobody gonna tell you what to do), you can't fathom an eternity, with a destination with your name on it. And for those of you joking about Hell, and actually wanting to go there, it is described as a place where the worm dieth not, torment, fire, nothing to quench, weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth. Someone who has rejected God, spit on Jesus with blasphemy, turned the Holy Spirit away, well, what is a Heavenly Father to do? If my son rejected me like that all through life, what could I do? Well, He will give you over to Satan, and you will not be downstairs checkling with your buddies. For your blaspheming sakes, I hope I'm wrong, and the afterlife is one big stinkin' party. But I trust I'm right, and you best believe I believe in a loving Jesus. Jesus loves us all, but not our sin. He wants what's best for us, and some folks just can't give stuff up, and would rather live for the temporary, and die in their sins, than admit that there just may be a Savior, who can save them from their faults, and help them clean their life up. I know. I'm saved. But go on make fun, I've been there, but He changed me. CHANGED me. He's for real.
 
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happytidefan

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Aw, man... It's amazing that when folks make fun (yes, blaspheme) the name of Jesus, if someone dares defend His name, then THEY're the jerk. Huh? I know that this country has gone downhill statistically since "God" has been taken out of almost all social settings, when at all possible. Just pick a moral category, and see how the numbers turn out, since say, the forties. They don't lie. And even though folks think they are taking God out of the equation, He is alive and well, and there will be a day of judgment for those who do not believe, though they've been given chances, mercy extended, etc. Just think, our country is "going to Hell" right now before our very eyes, compared to decades gone by, and are churches are emptier than ever before...except for the feel-good, tell-you-what-you-want-to-hear churches. And when people think they are taking "God" out of society, well, they are. The Gospel is not being preached, truth is not being told, and generations of folks live as they please, and miss out. Read the Isrealites attitude in the Old Testament! And people throw excuses out all over the map, including "Well, I went to church, blah, blah..." If you're blaming God for what some stupid person has done to you (hurt your feelings, etc.), for the ravages of disease or death (I've lost enough loved ones, so don't go there), for whatever reason, you're just looking for an 'out'. Something you can tell yourself and others (some will laugh along) because you can't fathom an eternity, with a destination with your name on it. And for those of you joking about Hell, and actually wanting to go there, it is described as a place where the worm dieth not, torment, fire, nothing to quench, weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth. Someone who has rejected God, spit on Jesus with blasphemy, turned the Holy Spirit away, well, what is a Heavenly Father to do? If my son rejected me like that all through life, what could I do? Well, He will give you over to Satan, and you will not be downstairs checkling with your buddies. For your blaspheming sakes, I hope I'm wrong, and the afterlife is one big stinkin' party. But I trust I'm right, and you best believe I believe in a loving Jesus. Jesus loves us all, but not our sin. He wants what's best for us, and some folks just can't give stuff up, and would rather live for the temporary, and die in their sins, than admit that there just may be a Savior, who can save them from their faults, and help them clean their life up. I know. I'm saved. But go on make fun, I've been there, but He changed me. CHANGED me. He's for real.
Thank you Bamahippie. Well said. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, because we can, because we want to, and no one here can take that away.

This thread was never meant to defile Christ, but there are those who have hijacked it to do just that. Nonetheless, I will defend my Savior, the One who gives me all that I am and have and will ever have, not because I deseve it, or earned it, but because He loves me. I will pray for those who choose to do and believe otherwise, because that's what He instructed me to do.

Flame away....I'm a big girl, I can take it.
 

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