Freeze fired at the Barn

[mlh]

There are so many things wrong with that movie.

The highest point in the state of Illinois is 1235 feet - and yet they're deep in the mountains finding a tree. And if you say, "Well, it didn't have to be Illinois," it had to be close enough to get back in the same day, which gives you Wisconsin, Indiana, Iowa, or Michigan, none of which has an elevation that even reaches 2,000 feet - much less deep in a valley between mountains.

Then he has sap all over his fingers....but his pajamas are on.

The grandparents (apparently) come (BOTH SETS) for two weeks, which is insane.

Then there's the grotesque fact that in the FIRST MOVIE, it's pretty clear Cousin Eddie is a pedophile (remember when his daughter Vicki says, "Daddy says I'm the best at" French kissing?), but he's gone from playing a Vietnam veteran maniac in the first one to an adorable slob in this one. He still seems interested in teen girls who are relatives when he gets all huffy and says, "Let's go find your sister!" WTH????

Also, where in Illinois IN THE CITY or NEAR CHICAGO would you ever have a hill as long as the one Clark slides down on the saucer? That hill is longer than the one I rode a toboggan down in the Swiss Alps over 40 years ago.

Eddie's also kinda sleazy when he says "here's a Christmas list" that includes his wife on it - and depending on how you spell Katherine, it isn't alphabetical, either.

On top of all this NOBODY - and I mean NOBODY - would open their Christmas bonus check in front of the entire family, either. People don't want you to know how much they make, but this guy opens the add-on in front of everyone?


Yes, I'm funny company at the movies.

Like in the first "Star Wars" how Obi-wan Kenobi tells us all that "only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise" and they can't hit the broad side of a barn with a machine gun while standing inside.

Or Forrest Gump somehow meeting President Kennedy at the All-American gathering in December 1963 (to say nothing of Coach Bryant wearing the famous hat years before he, you know, wore the famous hat).

Wait...what?! You mean Christmas Vacation isn't accurate or realistic? It's just a silly comedy?

 

[tusks_n_raider]

There are so many things wrong with that movie.

The highest point in the state of Illinois is 1235 feet - and yet they're deep in the mountains finding a tree. And if you say, "Well, it didn't have to be Illinois," it had to be close enough to get back in the same day, which gives you Wisconsin, Indiana, Iowa, or Michigan, none of which has an elevation that even reaches 2,000 feet - much less deep in a valley between mountains.

Then he has sap all over his fingers....but his pajamas are on.

The grandparents (apparently) come (BOTH SETS) for two weeks, which is insane.

Then there's the grotesque fact that in the FIRST MOVIE, it's pretty clear Cousin Eddie is a pedophile (remember when his daughter Vicki says, "Daddy says I'm the best at" French kissing?), but he's gone from playing a Vietnam veteran maniac in the first one to an adorable slob in this one. He still seems interested in teen girls who are relatives when he gets all huffy and says, "Let's go find your sister!" WTH????

Also, where in Illinois IN THE CITY or NEAR CHICAGO would you ever have a hill as long as the one Clark slides down on the saucer? That hill is longer than the one I rode a toboggan down in the Swiss Alps over 40 years ago.

Eddie's also kinda sleazy when he says "here's a Christmas list" that includes his wife on it - and depending on how you spell Katherine, it isn't alphabetical, either.

On top of all this NOBODY - and I mean NOBODY - would open their Christmas bonus check in front of the entire family, either. People don't want you to know how much they make, but this guy opens the add-on in front of everyone?


Yes, I'm funny company at the movies.

Like in the first "Star Wars" how Obi-wan Kenobi tells us all that "only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise" and they can't hit the broad side of a barn with a machine gun while standing inside.

Or Forrest Gump somehow meeting President Kennedy at the All-American gathering in December 1963 (to say nothing of Coach Bryant wearing the famous hat years before he, you know, wore the famous hat).

Christmas Vacation has been one of my favorite Christmas movies for decades but a lot of that is precisely because of the absurdity.

I choose to believe this scene is scientifically accurate:

 

[selmaborntidefan]

The show 24 never had traffic in Los Angelos! This made me nuts.

Same when Mel Gibson runs out shooting in "Lethal Weapon."

 

[selmaborntidefan]

Wait...what?! You mean Christmas Vacation isn't accurate or realistic? It's just a silly comedy?

But there's not a lot silly about Cousin Eddie, you know, engaging in (at a minimum) French kissing with his daughter and apparently turned on by his niece.

People think he's lovable - and credit that to Randy Quaid's portrayal - but yikes. (And we won't even talk about what the gerbils means back in 1989, when the rumor was going around about men and gerbils, for those who don't know what that's actually about).

 

[DzynKingRTR]

Same when Mel Gibson runs out shooting in "Lethal Weapon."

Are you a writer for YouTube's CinemaSins?

 

[Elefantman]

So to help tie this tread together, how do think Freeze would do as a movie critic???

 

[selmaborntidefan]

Are you a writer for YouTube's CinemaSins?

No, but it's funny how often those things come up.

And as good as they are, they miss A LOT. People point this out repeatedly in the comments obvious misses.

 

[selmaborntidefan]

So to help tie this tread together, how do think Freeze would do as a movie critic???

He'd do his best to not give offense and need a little escort on his way to seat.

 

[Cruloc]

Christmas Vacation has been one of my favorite Christmas movies for decades but a lot of that is precisely because of the absurdity.

I choose to believe this scene is scientifically accurate:

Was that not scientifically accurate? I mean, he obviously would have survived the sudden acceleration....Santa does, and he goes everywhere in one night, so he's faster.

 

[arthurdawg]

Christmas Vacation has been one of my favorite Christmas movies for decades but a lot of that is precisely because of the absurdity.

I choose to believe this scene is scientifically accurate:

Pretty standard here in the rocket city... Heck, was out riding on the trails at John Hunt last night and the whole of the Earth started shaking when they fired up the BE-4s over at the test stand about 6 miles away. We should be ready to put those babies on a sled this winter if we get snow!

 

[selmaborntidefan]

Wait...what?! You mean Christmas Vacation isn't accurate or realistic? It's just a silly comedy?

Well, except for the fact that in almost all of the rest of the movie, the stuff is at least reasonably believable. In all honesty, the only two "there's zero chance that could happen" moments in the movie are that slide down the hill and him driving the car under the 18-wheeler.

In other words, while a bit over the top maybe, most everything else in the movie COULD happen.

 

[selmaborntidefan]

Are you a writer for YouTube's CinemaSins?

No, but there are times that I should be.

I mean, I cringed the first time I heard the song "Wagon Wheel" and the lyric says, "But he's heading WEST of the Cumberland Gap to Johnson City, Tennessee". Just look at a map and it's to the sorta East Southeast.

Or the wrong map that catches fire on "Bonanza" (Reno is NOT west of Carson City, I've BEEN to Reno).

 

[NoNC4Tubs]

Pretty standard here in the rocket city... Heck, was out riding on the trails at John Hunt last night and the whole of the Earth started shaking when they fired up the BE-4s over at the test stand about 6 miles away. We should be ready to put those babies on a sled this winter if we get snow!

The BE-4s or real babies...?

 

[arthurdawg]

The BE-4s or real babies...?

The BE-4s! Not the babies! No child endangerment here.

 

[MikeInBama]

What's this thread about again?

 

[DzynKingRTR]

What's this thread about again?

 

[MikeInBama]

I watched a bunch of "the barn" and "locked on auburn" youtube vids due to schadenfreude so now the algorithm is sending me vids about Auburn being "all in" on John Sumrall.

 

[CoolBreeze]

I watched a bunch of "the barn" and "locked on auburn" youtube vids due to schadenfreude so now the algorithm is sending me vids about Auburn being "all in" on John Sumrall.

Might want to check in with a therapist after that foray into dysfunctionalism.

 

[MikeInBama]

Might want to check in with a therapist after that foray into dysfunctionalism.

But their salty tears are so delicious.

 

[jabcmb]

Pretty standard here in the rocket city... Heck, was out riding on the trails at John Hunt last night and the whole of the Earth started shaking when they fired up the BE-4s over at the test stand about 6 miles away. We should be ready to put those babies on a sled this winter if we get snow!

I don’t know the specs on those (prob near a half million lb thrust) but they will rattle your teeth on the test stand. When I was a kid my uncle took me to see a Saturn engine test at Redstone. Changed one boy’s limited view of the world. Just realized I DRIFTED THE THREAD AGAIN