Need some advice from the introverts on the board.

[CajunCrimson]

Is she hawt enough for adult games?

 

[selmaborntidefan]

Take my memory from Hell
Add PTSD
A twist of ADHD
And massive introversion


My ex used to tell me how "rude" I was every year when we went to the next door neighbor's annual Halloween party, with all the loud music, alcohol, sports blaring on TV. I'd walk in and sit down near the door, and I'd say "hi" IF I was spoken to first.

I wish I could help you but my suspicion is that she's probably just content doing whatever. It's actually a accomplishment if she just comes along, even if she doesn't say anything. (Now that my memory is well-known to friends around here, I get invited to all their parties because they want to show me off ("tell him when your birthday is, he'll tell you what he was doing that day"). Now - that can be fun if someone wants to be a dolt and insist I'm snowing folks. Fun for me anyway).

She's probably uncomfortable coming over, but it's also probably nothing personal. You can ask the guy, I'm sure he's heard it before, but if he tells you "no, she's fine," you'll have to be content with that.

 

[TIDE-HSV]

Take my memory from Hell
Add PTSD
A twist of ADHD
And massive introversion


My ex used to tell me how "rude" I was every year when we went to the next door neighbor's annual Halloween party, with all the loud music, alcohol, sports blaring on TV. I'd walk in and sit down near the door, and I'd say "hi" IF I was spoken to first.

I wish I could help you but my suspicion is that she's probably just content doing whatever. It's actually a accomplishment if she just comes along, even if she doesn't say anything. (Now that my memory is well-known to friends around here, I get invited to all their parties because they want to show me off ("tell him when your birthday is, he'll tell you what he was doing that day"). Now - that can be fun if someone wants to be a dolt and insist I'm snowing folks. Fun for me anyway).

She's probably uncomfortable coming over, but it's also probably nothing personal. You can ask the guy, I'm sure he's heard it before, but if he tells you "no, she's fine," you'll have to be content with that.

It has to have improved things, now that your memory can be checked with a smart phone...

 

[DzynKingRTR]

Take off all your clothes, that us bound to start a dialog.

 

[4Q Basket Case]

Take off all your clothes, that us bound to start a dialog.

Does a horrified scream count as dialogue?

 

[RTR91]

Let her do her thing. The more you're around, the more she'll talk and hangout. As others said, it takes time.

I have to be around someone a few times before I get real comfortable.


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[Tide1986]

Alright, here's the situation. One of my old friends has moved back into town. We met during my last two years of college, ran around together, real good buds. After graduating, his career choice carried him out of town where he got married, had a couple of kids etc. Now 18 years later he has moved back and lives about five miles from where I do. We've reconnected nicely, like he'd never left. We've both "changed" but in a good way. His two kids are about the same age as my older two. They get along great. They've been back for about six months.

Here's the deal, we've gotten together several times since they've moved back and cooked out, either at our house or theirs. We've (my wife and I) enjoyed getting together with them and hanging out. He talks about how he loves getting together. However, his wife is an introvert. He told me this (in passing) after the first few times our families got together to hang out. I believe he felt the need to tell me due to his wife's aloof and seemingly disinterested behavior the first few times we hung out. She's not mean, or rude or anything like that. She seems to be a very sweet person. But what ultimately ends up happening is my friend, me and my wife end up "hanging out" and "socializing" and his wife subtly distances herself and disengages from the group.

My wife and I feel bad, almost like we're leaving her out, or she's having a bad time. Do any of y'all have any suggestions of what we could do (socially) to make it easier for her or maybe less stressful for her to be involved? I know one of things regarding introverts is being around people can "drain" them. Doesn't mean they don't like people. But it can drain them. Any suggestions?

As an introvert myself I suggest two things: (1) don't force anything and (2) make sure there's plenty of alcohol available (i.e. liquid extroversion).

 

[bama2112]

is she hot

did you not mean to ask if she was HAWT?

 

[Tide1986]

twister would probably work too

Or just go straight to strip poker.

 

[RTR91]

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[mikes12]

I'm on the near extreme introvert end on the Myers-Briggs personality scale. One of the most annoying things is when people think being introverted is a problem that needs to be fixed.

My advice would be don't try to force it. Tell your friend that his wife is welcome, and leave it at that. Feigning interest in something you aren't interested in as a form of social lubricant doesn't work too well. It comes off as disingenuous, even though I recognize when people have good intentions. It's exhausting.

If and when she starts hanging around more don't make a big deal about it. Introverts have their own timetables, which can't be quantified, scheduled, or predicted.

 

[Tide1986]

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What two colors make green Alex?

 

[Displaced Bama Fan]

She doesn't drink. *bummer*

Damn Baptists.

 

[TIDE-HSV]

As an introvert myself I suggest two things: (1) don't force anything and (2) make sure there's plenty of alcohol available (i.e. liquid extroversion).

He said early on she didn't drink. If she did, he probably wouldn't even be posting...

 

[92tide]

did you not mean to ask if she was HAWT?

even though i grew up in winston county, i still know how to sepll

 

[Bama Reb]

I'm on the near extreme introvert end on the Myers-Briggs personality scale. One of the most annoying things is when people think being introverted is a problem that needs to be fixed.

My advice would be don't try to force it. Tell your friend that his wife is welcome, and leave it at that. Feigning interest in something you aren't interested in as a form of social lubricant doesn't work too well. It comes off as disingenuous, even though I recognize when people have good intentions. It's exhausting.

If and when she starts hanging around more don't make a big deal about it. Introverts have their own timetables, which can't be quantified, scheduled, or predicted.

Thank you. I agree. Let her join in on her own time. It may take some time, but she'll get there.

 

[Bamabuzzard]

Thanks for all the advice. We'll see how this plays out.

 

[RTR91]

Thanks for all the advice. We'll see how this plays out.

Next gathering, please post a play-by-play of her actions. You know we'd be very happy to give in the moment advice. :wink:

 

[Bamabuzzard]

Next gathering, please post a play-by-play of her actions. You know we'd be very happy to give in the moment advice. :wink:

Of course!!!!. My guess is this will more than likely end up being a situation where the "hanging out" will be just between the guys. Which is completely fine with me. I've got several friends that our friendship is like this. We just keep the spouses and family's out of it. Plan a Saturday, go play some golf, drink some beer, shoot the bull and go back home. Much simpler that way.

When you start getting women involved it just complicates everything. :wink:

 

[Displaced Bama Fan]

I foresee Buzzard announcing his expanding family as he takes her as his second wife and moves to the Utah, Nevada border.