I've been telling people for longer than they want to listen that the problem lies directly with our society's failure - from the parents to the educational system - to teach proper conflict resolution to our children.
We teach conflict avoidance, placation, and ineffectual compromise while promising that everybody can be right and everybody can be a winner in everything.
We've projected such a fear of failure and a fragility upon our children that we've, in many ways, paralyzed their emotional and social growth when it comes to conflict, causing many to be completely unable to cope with unresolved conflict.
As a result, crap gets bottled up and bottled up until it explodes - seemingly always in a destructive way.
Combine that with a seemingly pervasive desire for fame - often at any cost - and you end up with a large number of copycat killers to go along with your run-of-the-mill sociopaths and mentally ill killers, making these incidents all that much more common.
While, theoretically, violence should never be the answer there are obviously times when it is the only answer. And, occasionally, it can be the simplest and even the best answer but only - ONLY -when measured.
We are generally violent creatures by nature and that needs an outlet. There are some potential benefits to good, old-fashioned, boys-being-boys, fist fights besides merely letting off steam, not the least of which is being able to eventually look each other in the eyes afterward.
It's okay if everything doesn't go your way. It's okay if you fail. It's okay - even if you're right and they're wrong - for you to lose and for someone else to get their way. It's okay if something isn't fair. That's just life. Life isn't fair, except in death.
The problem is that we simply aren't teaching our children how to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and keep on going after they face these things.
When that happens, all too often, they start viewing obstacles as things that CANNOT be overcome and then begin viewing either others or themselves as THE problem - and then they sometimes reach the point where the only solution they see is to permanently remove the problem.
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