Dear Coach Fran

[Redwood Forrest]

Dear Coach Fran,
Our relationship must end. At first I enjoyed the attention you brought me, but I am weary of all the holes you dig to bury your money. You have ruined my floor.

Sincerely,
The Forest

PS. I am tired of all those Aggie Fans tromping around here with guns as they search for you. Get your sorry butt out now!

 

[Proxigean Tide]

Dear Coach Fran:

The publisher called again demanding you return the $1 MM retainer they paid for the rights to "Holding the Rope IV: Taking Texas A&M to a National Championship".

Before you ask, yes, I did send the manuscript for "Slippery Rope: Taking Texas A&M Football into the toilet", but they say thats not the book for which they contracted.

Please advise

Sincerely

Mike the writer

 

[crimsonbleeder]

Dear Coach Fran,

Those rednecks from Bama warned us that you would jump ship for another program after 2 or 3 seasons in College Station.

What's the hold up?

Sincerely,

The braggart TAMU fans who ran their mouths on the Bama boards after we stole you away from them.

THAT's Funny!

 

[graydogg85]

Dear Coach Fran,

Stop calling me. Seriously.

Love,

The Draw Play

 

[derek4tide]

Dear Coach fRan,

Thx for making us look good.

Sincerely,
Jackie Sherrill and RC Slocum

 

[bkschiavon]

Dear Fran,

Welcome back!

Signed, Reality

 

[GrayTide]

Dear Dennis,

You are lucky to be at Texas A&M instead of that cheating school in Tuscaloosa. You are also lucky because had you stayed I would have kicked your @ss on a regular basis the 2002 game was a fluke. Holla at me and I will give you some pointers on how to dress to draw attention away from your portlinesss.

Best Wishes

Phillip Fulmer

 

[sabanball]

Dear Dennis

We have been informed of your fascination with Coach Paul Bryant and your life long dream to walk in his foot steps, albeit “backwards”. This is to serve as notification to you that we are not interested in hiring you as the head coach of our football team.

Thanks, but no thanks

The University of Kentucky

 

[Chukker Veteran]

Dear Dennis,
I know I promised not to show interest in your atm job since you tanked that Iron Bowl, but guess what?

Tubby

 

[Crimson-Blitz]

P.S.

Leave the bras in College Station. I can use them as ear warmers.

Tubby

 

[TideFaninFl]

Dear Dennis

We have been informed of your fascination with Coach Paul Bryant and your life long dream to walk in his foot steps, albeit “backwards”. This is to serve as notification to you that we are not interested in hiring you as the head coach of our football team.

Thanks, but no thanks

The University of Kentucky

Sir,

Thank you for the interest in our athletic program. As of the present time, we have no positions open. Please try again when areas south start to freeze over.

University of Maryland

P.S. What makes you think that if Kentucky did not want you we would?

 

[saxman]

Dear Coach Fran,

I just mailed you a CD of my favorite country music song from Toby Keith titled "How do ya like me now"....


Sincerely,
Nick Saban

 

[saxman]

Dear Coach Fran,

Do you remember that phrase from Tom Yeager "staring down the barrell of a loaded gun".......you might want to keep that one in your M.T.X.E. manual

Sincerely,
Gene Stallings
(you may have heard of me)

 

[sabanball]

Dear Dennis

Thanks for the rematch!

Iowa State University and the University of Tennessee

 

[redwood11]

Frannie, Thanks for leaving me to do the dirty work in Tuscaloosa, and then using me as the fall guy in College Station. Anything to make your sorry, worthless fat butt look good--what are friends for, right?

Carl T.

P.S. Here's a magic trick for you to amaze your phony friends with: It's called "How to make a Twinkie turn brown". First, take a Twinkie in your right hand. Next, *&%^$#%^(&*$%@#$%^&*&^((*&&$#@#$%%^

 

[bamanut_aj]

Dear Fran,

You still sure you're gonna use me when the time comes?

Looking forward to it,

The College Station Coffin Maker

 

[Capt. Jack]

Dear Dennis,

Just leave the keys under the mat.

Sincerely,
T. Tuberville

 

[GrayTide]

Coach Franchione,

I thought we had a deal. You threw the 2002 Auburn game, so Tubbs looks like a world beater, you go to A&M and both of you get big bucks. You were suppose to stay only a year or two at A&M until you got your dream job at Notre Dame. Then Tubbs goes to A&M and I get the Auburn job I almost had. Thanks you fat @ss.

Warmest regards,

Bobby Petrino

 

[bat123]

Dear Dennis,
Should we park the truck behind the house like we did in Tuscaloosa?
Regards,
U-Haul

PS We are won't be charging you mileage this move since you have used us so many times in the recent past..... Thanks again and do you want us to deliver the flowers and note
"Kim I swear, this is the last time we move, Love Frannie" again?

 

[THE BAMA IRISHMAN]

We have a Texas A&M intern on our jobsite this summer. He says "everybody" hates him.

Amazing. I went on the aggless board and the posters were scared to death to post anything about fran all except one board member who was warned. Nazi moderators. He stated he would love to have RC Slocum back in a Austin minute. :biggrin: